Why? Why do we each individually react differently to a similar situation?

in #thealliance7 years ago (edited)

Why do we not live consistently by our own set of values?

By this I don't mean why do each of us react differently from each other, as we are all individuals; but why do we ourselves react differently according to where we are.

I have been growing vegetables in my garden for the last few weeks and we seem to be inundated with butterflies laying their eggs on my lettuces! I love to sit and watch the bees and the butterflies in my garden. I can literally sit there for hours watching them go about their business!

I recently had an experience with a bumblebee where I managed to bring her back from being almost dead and it affected me so much that I went out and bought £50 worth of bee friendly flowers for my garden!

Don't forget to click the images for the full screen effect...

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These little beauties are not your typical English garden variety. I happened to visit a butterfly park and these guys posed perfectly for me...

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It got me thinking about the question 'Why?'

Why do I view the butterflies that land on my vegetables as pests; yet when I visit the butterfly park, I stare in awe at these magnificent creatures in all their glory!

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I wouldn't dream of hurting any of the beautiful visitors to my vegetable patch, but I do tend to clear their eggs off the leaves when I see them.

But now I am feeling guilty for doing so.

I was taking pictures of the butterflies and saw these awesome cocoon's and realised that I had been destroying the little babies that were being hatched on my plants back home.

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As I do often, this got me thinking about the wider world and 'Why' we do the things that we do depending on the situation we are in.

For example social media! I am not a huge user of social media, but I have seen the venom that has been spat across the interweb by complete strangers and supposed friends, when they are safely behind their keyboards.

Yet face to face, they wouldn't dream of acting the same way in public! Why do people react one way in one situation, then the polar opposite in another?

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Do we react differently depending on who is watching? If so, 'Why?' Should we not have a set of values and stick to them no matter where we are and who is watching?

Do we have a more aggressive reaction to our surroundings when we are in our own environment? Are we protecting our castle so to speak? Why do we feel we have the right to treat anyone and anything in any way we chose so long as we are in the safety of our own home? (or behind a screen).

I am not a fan of Facebook, I tend to use it to stay in touch with family and friends, but I don't tend to socialise on there with people I don't know. Here on Steemit, I have never met most of the people I engage with here, but it does not feel as aggressive or as hostile. Yes, there are the various voting wars that go on, but I keep out of them as i do not wish to partake in them and I want to feel as though this is a safe place to be.

I have met so many like minded individuals here on Steemit and I think we are all pretty much in a similar mindset... live and let live! Encourage, don't destroy!

Why is Facebook so different to Steemit? Is it because we are not in our own environment here and we are liable to punishment? (downvotes) Do we behave more respectably towards one another when there is the fear of rebuke?

On the other hand, Facebook is known for censorship whereas Steemit is the epitome of freedom of speech! (As long as we are open to people disagreeing with us and giving a downvote)

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I like to think of myself as a peaceful person and I hate confrontation, but recently I have realised that even our actions towards nature can change our energies if we are not living by the values we set for ourselves.

I don't want to be a hypocrite. I want to be able to look back at my life and know that I left my environment in a better way than I found it and that I gave as much love and respect to all living things as I possibly could.

I have decided that tomorrow I will go out and buy some netting to cover my lettuces so that I don't have to damage any more butterfly eggs. You may think this is a silly reaction and that I should just continue to remove the eggs from the plants, but the more I think about these things, the more they don't sit right with me.

As much as I want to be able to eat the things I plant, can I blame nature for also wanting to use these plants as food? If I use just a simple net or mesh to protect the vegetables, I am not harming the butterflies or interfering with their own natural cycles.

I may even plant a few extra just as a gift to the butterflies ;)

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Can we have a set of values for one situation and different set of values for another? Should we be more protective of our home environment to the point of being disruptive to another? I don't think we should!

I would much prefer to work around things and not put myself in the situation where I have to act in a way that does not sit right with my core values. so to change my reactions, I first have to change the environment around me.

All these epiphanies have me feeling like a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon! Lets hope nobody squashes me before I have chance to emerge too...

Thank you so much for reading!

All the images are my own, taken with my Nikon D5300 using my 90mm Macro lens.

Much love, @beautifulbullies xx

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HUUUGE question.

Firstly - perhaps you could plant a ‘good bug’ garden, which are different varieties of plants that attract the predator insects to keep your ‘pests’ in check. That way you’re creating an eco-system that is about as self-regulating as it can be.

Perhaps in many ways, that’s also a metaphor for your social media behaviour / Values question.

For the most part, I’ve observed that Steem operates explicitly as a community. People can express themselves freely and be true to themselves and their likes/dislikes. Like in an eco-system, everyone does what comes naturally. Hence, self-regulation.

That’s not the case on FB, and was never created to be that. It was centralised from day 1. It was typically ‘civilised human’.

Taoist & Neo-Confucian philosophy makes a distinction between ‘natural’ human tendencies and those that are ‘acquired’ through social/familial/cultural conditioning. The line between the two is blurry.... but (particularly the Taoist) perspective is that the more one tries to ‘regulate’ a system or ‘fix’ problems, the worse it gets.

Great, thought-provoking post
😊🙏🏽☯️

Posted using Partiko iOS

Wow! You are so right! I had never really thought about it like that but it is true, the more freedom you have, the more you take responsibility. Take that freedom away and we are mere children misbehaving, waiting to be chastised or corrected!
I love your ideas, great response, thank you!

Thank you so much :D

So true everything you say, we always feel safer to confront when we are protected ourselves, for some it makes them feel stronger and in a way it allows them to take other peoples power when they are being horrible to them, yet face to face you end u losing some of your power in any confrontation, I think it is a power trip, instead of trying to connect with their own power they wish to take other peoples, this is a quite a common mindset, it is exactly how politics works and advertising.
Great post and well done on getting the net, that is a great idea xx
love the photos too xxx

Thank you so much! You are absolutely right, people take away power from others to make themselves feel better. But in the long run, I don't think it can do them any good surely? I wish we could learn this as a species so much faster! The world would be a much better place xxx

What a stunning post. The intricate beauty of the butterflies. The moral question for you. The moral question as applied to a larger stage. Simply a wonderful piece of work. Wonderful.

About 40 years ago I quit hunting. A thing I'd grown up loving and love still. It was just all about killing for sport. Not that I didn't eat everything I killed, I did. And not that I'm not a hunter still. I am, I'm just not killing anything.

It took another 10 years for me to quit fishing. I'm a true life river rat and fishing is part of that. I'm still a river rat.

FWIW I applaud your net. It's the right answer for you, and the way you live.

This is one of the best posts I've read in quite some time. Thank you for it.

Awww thank you so much Big T! My mind sometimes goes off on a tangent like this and one thing leads to another and before I know it I have a complete moral dilemma on my hands lol I guess the older I get, the more I want to feel connected to the nature around me and the pleasure I get from watching them go about there business means I also don't want to harm them in any way.
Thank you so much for your reply!

Perfect compromise and I think that is the answer that and balance.

Somehow, with the growth of social media, we are meant to be in a camp or a group and to black and white hate and love what that group hates, but it leaves out the subtlety of the grey area of the human experience. And it also doesn't show compromise and balance.

I do the same with my veg, netting. Especially for soft fruits. I only kill caterpillers when I find the on my veg and I simply give them to my chickens and see it as an act of me, a part of nature, working in that cycle of life. Sometimes we forget that we too are a cog in natures wheel.

I also dislike facebook, full stop. I only use it occasionally to post my artwork and even don't like to do that.

very true, I hadn't thought of myself as being a natural part of the cycle; only that my actions were interrupting the cycle! Hmmm now you have given me even more to ponder on! haha I love our little chats ;D If only we weren't in this darn zoo... xD

Keyboard warriors are sickening sometimes. Can't believe you killed the baby butterflies! But, they do tend to munch munch so understandable. Great form and writing. Very clean.

Thank you so much! :D

Your post makes me think about how we interact with the World around us. I try to stay consistent but sometimes fall short. And will react differently around some people than others in the EXACT situation. Weird I know.

But very inspiring post @beautifulbullies.

Have to honor such a worthy post with worthy replies in it with ...

Don't know what the DSI ( Dolphin Support Initiative ) is ? Well it was started by yours truly and you can check it out here ====> https://steemit.com/dolphinsupportinitiative/@robertandrew/dolphin-support-initiative-i-am-implementing-this-and-you-are-probably-asking-what-the-hell-it-is?sort=author_reputation

Oh wow! Thank you so much for your support! I have just clicked the link to find out about the Dolphin Support Initiative, what a fantastic idea!
As for falling short of consistency, I am sure we all do it, after all we are only human :) I think the main thing is that we keep ourselves in check and assess our own behaviour now and then and correct anything that doesn't sit right. Thanks again for your support and your reply, it is greatly appreciated!

Butterflies are also pollinators! :D

Posted using Partiko Android

Very true! They can help my other plants to grow even more! Its a win win :)

Fantastic shots so good of you to go and buy Bee friendly plants I thing more with gardens need to do this

tip!

Thank you! I am so glad that I did, I love to sit and watch the bees fetch their pollen from the plants and feel proud that I have created a space for them to visit :)
Ooo thank you for the tip too!

@beautifulbullies Its a good thing your doing for the earth and the bees

MY pleasure to send a tip

People have a diffrent opinion

yes, we all react differently to each other, but what I am talking about here is why do we as individuals react differently depending on our environments?

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