Comedy Open Mic Round #14 - 2 funny stories from my childhood / Tematydne - 2 smiesne pribehy z detstva
EN
Don't be afraid, he's my friend!
Father always told me not to be afraid of dogs. They are our friends, just give him your hand so he can sniff if for a brief second and then you can play together. I've adopted this mindset 100%. I always liked dogs and there were 3 on our street - Aida, Ricky and Brix. I brought them chicken bones every Sunday after the lunch or even took them for a walk.One day, I was waiting outside for my father to go somewhere. And suddenly I saw that there's a new dog several houses down the street. My father was not showing up, so I gave him a hand to sniff. Once he seemed to be friend with me, I just climbed the fence and suddenly was standing right next to him. And we played. We had some fights, we were policemen and he was a service dog. All kinds of games. At the moment when my father came, we were horse and a rider :D I was sitting on that dog's back. Must have been a crazy view for my father - his maybe 7 years old son, sitting on the back of an new unknown wolfdog on the other side of the fence...
That evening, I got some additional lectures on the dogs topic :D Reportedly, they are not all our friends...
SK
"Neboj tati, on je moj kamos!"
Otec ma vzdy ucil nebat sa psov. Vraj su to nasi kamosi. Staci im len dat na par sekund onuchat ruku a potom sa s nimi uz mozme hrat. Povedal to tatino, tak to predsa musi byt pravda. Tak som sa tym aj riadil. Na ulici sme mali troch - Aidu, Rickyho a Brixa. V nedelu som im po obede vzdy nosil kosti. Su z toho pekne videa na VHS, ako smelo za nimi kracam dolu ulicou.Raz som cakal vonku na otca aby sme niekam sli. Zrazu som zbadal, ze o 3 domy dalej maju noveho psa. Nemeckeho ovciaka. Tatino sa neukazoval, tak som vyuzilvolnu chvilu a isiel sa zoznamit. Presne som vedel co robit - dal som mu ovona ruku a ked vyzeral spoko, sup! Bol som na druhej strane plotu s mojim novym kamosom! A hry mohli zacat - boli sme fighteri, policajti (on bol sluzobny pes), hasici...Vsetko mozne. V momente ked prisiel otec sme boli jazden a kon :D Proste som na nom sedel a on ma nosil :) Pre otca to musel byt hrozny pohlad - jeho 7 rocny syn sediaci na chrbte neznameho nemeckeho ovciaka na opacnej strane plota. "Neboj sa tatino, my sme kamosi!"
V ten den som dostal vecer extra doucovanie ohladom psov :D Vraj ze nie vsetci su kamosi..
He looked like this / Vyzeral takto
" That was a great hit!"
This one happened when I was like four I guess. I went to the cellar to get some sand toys and suddenly, there's this big ass in front of my face :D It was our neighbor, bended forward working on some stuff. When you are four, the highlights and most funy moments of any movie are the moments when someone gets hit in the ass. Great example would be Tom & Jerry. So here I stand with the opportunity of my life to be a Jerry. I went 10 steps back to have a nice momentum. Exactly like Jerry would do. And then...Go! Sprinting as fast as I could, I've slapped his ass with my hand. Uncle Pagacik immediately stood up and surprised looked around. He couldn't see anyone his height so looked down. And there was a little"To bola ale supa!"
Toto sa stalo ked som mal styri roky. Priblizne. Siel som do pivnice po hracky do pieskoviska a zrazu mam pred ocami jeden velky zadok :D.Bol to nas sused, ujo Pagacik. Predkloneny na niecom pracoval. Ked mate 4 roky, najsmiesnejsie momenty v rozpravkach alebo detskych filmoch su, ked niekto niekoho udrie po zadku. Super priklad je Tom & Jerry. No a tak som tam stal so zivotnou prilezitostou byt Jerrym. Spravil som 10 krokov dozadu, nech mam lepsiu hybnost. A potom...Uutooook!! V plnom sprinte som sa dorutil k ujovi Pagacikovi a tresol ho dlanou po zadku :D On sa samozrejme hned vystrel a zacal sa obzerat. Nikde nikto..tak pozrel nizsie, a tam sa rehoce maly
Image source 2
Hi,
Welcome to #comedyopenmic, if you wish to participate in the contest, please follow the rules. You can find them in my blog.
Hello...hmm I guess I'll leave it as it is...dunno anything about a contest, I just remember @booster916 posting under this tag so i've used it now cuz I needed one more :D. If im violating some rules, lemme know and I'll remove the tag.
It is a contest not a random tag. You can check it out and see if it's your thing.
Oh srry then, didn't know, I'm out :)
haha... i want you to be in. come on buddy ;)
Haha ok you've actually managed to make me read the rules and hopefully do the required changes :D So I hope Im in! :D
@comedyopenmic - is it alright if the post is bilingual? Other than that,I think i've fulfilled all the rules requirements :)
there is nothing wrong with the bilingual arrangement. You fulfilled all the rules, therefore, this entry is now valid. Thanks!
Jako hodně malý jsem si spletl cestu na záchod a omylem počůral babičce hlavu...
:D fuha...taky zaver som necakal :D
Mě chtěl coby pětiletou rybku vytrestat švýcarskej voják/pohraničník/celník/cosi uniformovaného ve vlaku. Služební vlčáci si prostě hrát nesmí... Ani s dětma ne. Od výprasku mě zachránila mě babička :)
ahahhaha love the 2nd one. I once punched my kindergarten teacher in the stomach as hard as I could, just to see what happened. It wasn't good...
Haha I bet it wasn't :D
Hahahha! Good stuff!
My little girls think it is funny to give me 5 across the cheeks when they think I am not looking. I suppose I shouldn't carry on like a cartoon character to entertain them if I wanted them to stop doing that. A couple if Jiu Jitsu chicks so that is probably going to really start stinging soon....
haha :D how old are those young ladies?
Almost teenagers.......but they think they already are.
Haha and they already train? That's suupercool, here in Europe there are literally zero "almost-teenager" classes.
Ah shit! Yah they have been training like 3 years. It is something they go to weekly like girl guides and not a huge passion but still pretty neat.
The kids classes start around 5 years of age and are really well attended especially for this small town.
:D
One day my neighbour, who was a big lady, was bent over working in her garden. She was wearing a pair of shorts that were far too tight. So tight that they left very little to the imagination.
My uncle is looking at her and he says, "Come here." When I got over there he points at her and says, "It looks like two bear cubs fighting under a blanket."
I was about nine or ten at the time and didn't understand.
I understand now.
Haha uncles are the coolest family members :D Always!
Pěkné ;-). Se psy jsem si jako batole taky rozuměl. S jedním jsem, dalo by se říci, vyrůstal v jedné boudě ;-)
Haha mile...co vzdy ked si neposluchal, tak ta rodicia vyhodili ku psovi? :D
;-). Byli jsme stejně staří, takže to byla kámoška. Lezl jsem za ní sám. Sranda byla, že ke mně nikoho nepustila a dokud jsem sám nevylezl, nikdo s tím nic nenadělal ;-)
:DD tak to je mega :)
:-D
:-D Hezké, milý příspěvek k tématu týdne ;-)
Tak to som rad, ze sa paci aj zadavatelovi temy :D
No jasně ;-)
If I did that to any of my uncles, I'd have been castrated, and that's best case scenario
coming back to finish this story and it was totally worth it
lmao
oh please dont hit it