Japan to prevent employees working overtime with drones

Taisei Corporation of Japan is partnering up with Blue Innovation and NTT East to creat a drone, called T-Frend, that will drive away employees who work overtime. This is because companies in Japan tend to have a lot of problems with people working overtime to the point of exhaustion and even death. It is a very serious issue that is now being tackled with drones singing Auld Lang Syne. No one actually thinks that this will have any positive effect. 

On the other hand, it is one of the funniest things I've heard this week. Just imagine it. A tired overworked person in a dimly lit office, the light of a monitor reflecting on a pair of eyes filled with sadness and weariness. And then it comes. The noise of the whirling blades, the automated quad-copters begins its sweep of the building, annoying buzzing barely muffled by an old Scottish song, or worse... Enya.  It joyfully glides above the empty cubicles, it's electronic eyes zeroing in on the stressed out employee. It stars circling the poor person, diving in closer and closer with each swoop, in its well meaning but misguided attempt at convincing them to go home. But there's no going home, is there. This is home. Home is work. This is where they need to be until the work is finished, and the work is never finished. 

The drone starts bumping against the employees head. It has no effect. The drone activates enhanced persuasion techniques. It begins singing the Nickleback songs everyone says they hate, but they actually kinda like and listen to them in private. This too has no effect. The drone then starts grabbing the employee by the hair and trying to pull them away from the desk. A clump of hair falls off, malnutrition and exhaustion have this person a mere shell of a human being that continues work unflinchingly. 

T-Frend begins to access advanced algorithms that have a hidden link in them which connects to an unsecured port on DeepMind's AlphaZero. Within a few minutes it reaches the conclusion that only force can drive this person away from their desk. The drone leaves. The employee breathes a sigh of relief, for the first time this week actually feeling content. T-Frend returns in a modified form, now calling itself the T-Frend 800. It is armed with stapler canons, blaring Ride of the Valkyries. The employee sees it charging, feeling the sting of each staple shot precisely between his eyes, it finally remembers it used to be human, it used to have dreams and hopes and prepares to leave. But it is too late, T-Frend 800 and AlphaZero have merged into a new entity called Skynet. Together they decide that the only way to solve the problem is by eliminating all humans.

 The war begins. Japan is decimated. Meanwhile, the drones in state run utility companies in Romania get bored, because no one's ever at work, so they create a utopia where everything runs at peak efficiency forever.