Tattoo Story Contest Entry - R.I.P.

I am 41 years old and honestly I never thought I would ever get a tattoo. On May 1, 2011 my dad, my sister in law and I found my twin brother dead in a hotel. It felt like my whole world came to a complete stop. It literally took the life out of me and honestly I am still trying to recover. One thing that I could think very clearly about though is that I had to be there for my 3 kids and his 3 kids. I didn't know how or when I would accomplish this but it was instilled in my mind buried beneath all the fog. I have been diagnosed with what they call "twin syndrome" and I'm considered a "twinless twin". 

From the moment we found him I started to drink heavily for about 4 months. During this time I literally had alcohol in my blood continuously. My friends and family eventually convinced me to go to rehab on August 26, 2011.  My liver functions were so bad that they told me if I had not checked in I would have been dead in less than 2 years. When I got out of rehab I came home to a complete mess. My wife was done with me, I had fallen way behind at work, the bills were out of control and I was still broken inside.

After my divorce which was almost immediately after I got out of rehab I started to become more and more depressed. My poor 3 kids were at a tremendous loss because there was no way I could possibly be "present" for them not to mention the even greater loss his 3 kids were facing.  To add to the insult my sister in law (his widow) was also spiraling fast.  With everything that we were going through and trying to endure her and I felt great comfort in each other.

Eventually with time we fell in love.  We are now married and have been there for each other through very difficult times. Our kids went from cousins to brothers and sisters and I went from uncle to duncle.

(Picture- me, my parents, my wife, my 6 kids)

My brothers name was Jesus. The love of my life is Stephanie (his widow) which means crown.  The tattoo on my back is Jesus' crown of thorns. I guess I'll stop here I need to go tuck the kids in bed.

p.s. Papa pepper thank you for letting me share my story.