The Cross Keys Inn - A Tasteem Review

Should we never eat out on Monday evenings?

There are certain restaurants that refuse to open on the dreaded day, ‘Monday’ and for good reason.

'People here don’t go out on Mondays'

Why should they employ waiters, barmen, etc.. to sit around doing bugger all, while getting paid when there are no punters coming through the doors?

Taking this fact into consideration, we were not expecting The Cross Keys public house to be open and had to screech the brakes on the car when we sailed past it noticing lights, cars and a spark of activity.

Having dropped our long-haired pooch at the dog groomers we were faced with an hour and a half of boredom and so attempted to find somewhere open on a Monday night.

'This could prove to be one most difficult gastronomical tasks of my life'

Parking up we entered what looked like a building from medieval times (as many are here), and made through the porch area opening the door.

Several tables were full of people frolicking in pub debauchery but stopped dead when @bingbabe and @slobberchops entered.

You could audibly hear the combined movement of a dozen neck muscles simultaneously shifting direction as all attention focused on us.

I had a sudden vision of the scene from, ‘An American Werewolf in London’. East Marton is in Yorkshire as is ‘The Slaughtered Lamb’.

Had we taken a wrong turn? I was quite sure there was no full moon out there but did a quick check to make sure.

The middle-aged bar-lady was also gawping and it was a little uncomfortable, to say the least.

I approached the bar to find said bar-lady still unrelenting in eye movement without even a flicker of a blink.

‘Do you serve food’, I said with a nervous stammer.

It was as though I had turned a key. The general banter conversation of the pub resumed and I found out very quickly that food indeed was served, even on Monday’s.

'Strangers in the mist; Don’t be afraid of The Cross Keys public house. The key is simply to speak and the spell will be broken'

Most of the pub was empty, and so we walked through several rooms to a large empty one overlooking the Leeds / Liverpool canal.

There was none of this, ‘you must sit here’ bullshit that you get at some places regardless of how empty they are.

I noticed on the menu, there was an acronym. ‘RP’.

Looking closer revealed this was ‘Reduced Portion’, though it says, ‘Reduce Portion’.

For someone like me with the appetite of a Sparrow, this was a welcoming sight, especially as I was not that hungry.

Ordering the ‘RP’ Whitby Scampy at £5.25, @bingbabe followed my lead by choosing the ‘RP’ Homemade Cross Keys Chicken Curry at £5.95.

The waiting got a little tedious as we were on a slightly tight schedule but after a 25-minute wait, the food arrived.

If this review doesn’t sound too promising so far, here’s where it improves.

The portions were a little small, but that was to be expected. The regular ones would likely have been too large for me.

On the square plate, I counted 5 pieces of Scampi. I'm not expecting them to be caught fresh from Whitby harbour as that is far away on the east coast, but blimey they were good.

The chips were a little on the chubby side for me, but doused with a drenching of malt vinegar they went down well.

'Malt Vinegar, rather hard to find outside the UK'

A little coleslaw and veg finished mine off. As usual most of the mound of veg was rabbit food but I have come to expect this everywhere.

I did have a little taste of @bingbabe’s curry and it was equally delicious. Maybe it is ‘home-made’ just like they claim it to be.

Call me a sceptic but most of the time, I’m in disbelief and figure that it’s really ‘home-supermarket’ food.

Next visit, I will be getting that curry. She finished it off well before me despite being glued to Facebook all the way through the meal.

Shortly before we left a huge contingent of other pub-goers swamped the large room we were in.

I could hardly hear myself speak but it's good that someone else thinks of eating on Monday's beside us.

If I could criticize, well just make the damn place a little more welcoming to outsiders. I wasn't exaggerating about the tale at the start of this review.

At £17.45 including drinks, The Cross Keys was a fabulous find and I would gladly enter it in @tasteem’s ‘Blind Date’ contest if it was running.

You see, the last time I was in this pub, was around 1992, and it was a Blind Date.

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Restaurant Information

The Cross Keys Inn

The Cross Keys, Bank Newton, East Marton, Skipton BD23 3LP, UK

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The Cross Keys Inn - A Tasteem Review
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