How I overcome Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression and Agoraphobia (Part One)

This is probably the most personal experience on my whole life I know it would take me a lot of time and more than one post to writte about it but I think it would be worth to share this experience because when I was inside that terrible hole called Generalized anxiety disorded with depresion and agoraphobia I would have liked to have some guideline like the one I'm about to writte. So if you know someone who is struggling with some mental disorder send the link to this article and tell him or her that there is hope and you can overcome this so called illness and have your life back

7 years struggling with generalized anxiety disorder, depression and agoraphobia

If you are dealing with a mental disorder right now I must warn you the next story could be disturbing If you decide to read it and feel anxious on the reading process remember that it have a happy ending.

Maybe you think that a mental disorder could never happen to you but believe me it's more frequent than you may realize. Whats youth? Well it supposed to be the best time of your life and for me it was for a few years. Right away after I graduate as Linux Profesional I found a great job doing what I like, earning good money, hanging around with a lot of girls (I know it's not political correct but I must be sincere) living a single man life in a single man apartment owning and additional house two cars and one boat to go to the beach just 45 minutes away from home. What else could I ask for?

It was in that period of my life that I develop an anxiety disorder, depression and agoraphobia. Every material aspect in my life was resolute but even so I was looking something else, something to fill in an empty part of my life that I did not know what it was at the time.

I used to live everyday to the limit I went to sleep late at night and wake up around 4:00 am I used to eat fast food at breakfast, lunch and dinner, who wouldn't having the money right? On the other hand I was really good at doing my job, We were supposed to leave the company at 4:00 pm but I stayed there almost everyday until 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm learning, planing and triying to be the best at my field.

But the process of accumulating tension didn't stop there, as I told before I sleep late at night everyday you may ask: What where you doing? I was reading spiritual stuff trying to fill that void inside myself but nothing seems to help.

My parents never were really religious and that perfectly suits me because I didn't came to this world with that chip incorporated, I feel I don't belong to the catholic, muslim or jewish world but even so I was still looking something maybe you could called it spiritual but after all this years I have learned that what I was really looking for was myself.

The first time I had a panic attack I was really pushing myself to the limit, on the surface I looked like a happy person but I wasn't I was living a greedy and empty material life with no meaning or porpuose. I wasn't pretending to be happy I really was convinced I was.

I remember having "small panic attacks" it all started trying to go to bed but with all the accumulated tension it was impossible and for some reason when I was able to fall sleep I woke up just a few minutes later with my heart pumping fast and with a fear imposible to explain. But those "small panick attacks" were not as bad as everything I was about to live.

I was working as always and waiting for lunchtime to do my favorite thing at the time going for some fast food. I ate to the point of been full of food and came back to my job.

It was right there feeling terrible because of the exaggerated amount of food I ate and sitting on my job desk that I had my first strong panick attack.

First I felt a sensation that something was triying to scape from my stomach and reach my throat, second my heart ws pumping like If I was in a race, third I had this terrible fear that came from nowhere, I became palid and I started to feel like I had to run and go somewhere to keep myself alive my whole system was sending an alarm.

I went to the company nursing the doctor told me it was the food I ate what makes me feel that bad he gave me some pills and send me home to rest but the fear did not leave my body I was afraid that sensation would come back when I was alone and that I would eventually die. That thought, that feeling of diying become an obsesion that did not leave my body and mind over the next seven years and it was worse everyday.

To be continued ... ... ...