When @cabelindsay posts the prompt for Steemit Vision Quest each week, I usually get an immediate idea. It may take a bit to flesh it out but the direction I want to go is clear. Not this week. The prompt was "Twin Flames." My only thought was "I will have to let Spirit give me some guidance where to go with that." Then I got back to the hustle and bustle of every day living.

🏃

My tiny little community has been struck by tragedy again and that was consuming most of my thoughts. I had a notion about "Twin Flames" cross my mind, a candle for the two victims of these horrific events but that did not seem right to me. I puttered on about my day but the Universe kept whispering in my ear: "Tell the story." Understand, I am less than reverent. I presume the Universe made me to It's specs, so I am not terribly apologetic or overly deferential. I put on a good show when I am in ceremony or in public, but when it is just me and Spirit chatting I drop the formalities.

🤷

"HA! Right. Tell the story, because that panned out so well before. Just how in the hell am I supposed to tell this story without dog-piling more misery on this community?"

"With love. Through the Steemit Vision Quest" comes the reply.

"Pfft. I am not that good a writer."

"YOU are not good enough? Ego much?" Spirit does not beat around the bush with me, either.

"Well, shit. OK, I'll type, you show me how to do this right."

"Deal."

🤝

So here I sit, fingers on keyboard, counting on Spirit to guide me to tell this tale with love. Lord knows, I WANT to do this right...

⌨

Twin Flames, as I understand it, generally refers to a relationship where you find your mirror image. It can be a "soul mate" taken to the next level or it may be someone else, another type of relationship where you just challenge and bring out the best in each other, you forge the steel of your spirits in the twin's flame. I did not know that until this morning when I googled the phrase. The twin flames I will discuss are a mirror image of sorts, but not your standard pairing.

I am not hiding behind fictionalized names or places, this is what it is. These are the "twin flames" in my heart right now.

🕯

First, allow me to light a candle for Ethan Zollman. He was an 11 year old boy who died last week. He sustained injuries in a horseback riding accident on the 28th and succumbed to his injuries the next day. My heart breaks for the parents, I was blessed to see my children grow to adulthood and bless me with grandchildren, but I can imagine having that taken from you and it is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

🕯

The second candle I will light is for Jack Yantis. He was a local rancher, lifelong resident of Adams County. He was the high school quarterback who married his high school sweetheart and they raised their kids here. Jack was a huge supporter of the local football team, coming into Council from the north you know you are almost there when you see Jack's barn. Across the roof is the message "LUMBERJACK TERRITORY." Jack was taken from us November 1, 2015. I have written a ballad about that incident. It is not long, I encourage you to take a moment to read it to understand the rest of this post:
https://steemit.com/life/@fishyculture/the-ballad-of-single-shot-jack

When Jack was killed, Spirit forced me to act. I am NOT a local here, I am rather bashful around strangers and my religion is "Don't Talk To Cops." Yet one day I marched my ass into the Sheriff's office and asked to talk to him. It was a very odd conversation, he insisted on having his Under-sheriff present. In general terms, I encouraged him to do the right thing. He had run on a "Constitutional Sheriff" platform, he presented himself as a Christian and family man, I tried to appeal to his highest self. I asked him to ensure justice was duly served. The Sheriff mostly blew sunshine up my skirt, and the Under-sheriff was oddly obsessed about an accusation I made about a questionable real estate deal that landed one of the deputies in the house next to me.

I did not realize how thick the irony was that day. Over time I learned the Under-sheriff had been asked in because they feared me. That's right, big, bad ME. Just over 5 feet tall, not much over 100 pounds and enough wrinkles and gray hair that I am more likely to be offered a Senior discount than carded. The man with a badge and gun and office full of armed staff was afraid of me. Soon after the shooting, the Sheriff claimed that he and the deputies involved in Jack's death were being threatened. They claimed they were getting internet threats on their lives and the lives of their wives and children. While I cannot say that was not a fact, I can say no one was ever charged and that is a very serious crime. I can also say the lies being told regarding the case are well documented now.

The fears of these men were centered on me because I lived next to one of the deputies. I had a shit fit when I found out and said something online about living next to one of them. That day, I had black helicopters circling my house. The neighbor has since put security cameras all around his property. His children are NEVER seen in their big, fenced yard. These people collapsed into utter paranoia, and focused much of their fear on me. For the record, I have NO record; not so much as a traffic ticket in over ten years. One of the things I talked to the Sheriff about was anarchy and the NAP (non-aggression principle) that day, words that his heart did not understand.

Here is why I am in the middle of this... I think I am related to the Sheriff. If not related, oddly connected. I came west when I was 17 "to visit" and never went back. I followed a brother who had moved west a couple years earlier. He settled in this backwoods burg in Oregon thanks to the urging of his college buddy. The buddy had always thought it was the perfect place to live, he had visited every summer as a child to work in his Uncle's bowling alley as a pin-setter. The Uncle's name was Al Zollman. They are members of the very tiny church I was raised in, and I am related to most of the people in the church. When I moved to Wallowa County, the first person I met was Olena Zollman. About the time I arrived, a child was born at the other end of the county. I believe he is Olena's nephew, perhaps great-nephew and his name is Ryan. Some thirty-five years later our paths crossed, just across the Snake River in another tiny, rural county in Idaho. I never bothered to track the exact connection, this article is confirmation enough. Spirit said "He is family, the darkness is upon him" and so I went and tried to bring the light of love.
http://www.lagrandeobserver.com/localstate/4037208-151/a-special-bond

I begged Sheriff Zollman to do right by this community. The Attorney General's report leaves no doubt, the Sheriff colluded with the deputies in the back of the ambulance for over an hour before the State Patrol arrived and began to treat this like a crime scene and at least put on a show of "investigating." The Sheriff, I believed, was simply in over his head and did not understand the "big game." He only understood "the thin blue line" and he was not crossing it. It paid off, the deputies were never charged with anything, the Sheriff won his re-election and he continues to fund his department with the Devil's money. Prison for profit, that is his claim to fame as Sheriff. He just got the state to pay even MORE to incarcerate people here. He bought into that evil system and will NOT turn toward the light of my favorite twin flames, truth and justice. At this point I do not know if he really cannot see the evil he has been sucked into, or if he has simply embraced the dark forces that protected him before. Whatever his past choices, I suspect he will be re-evaluating his life now. I know that sense that he is family persists, and I pray with all my heart that he will seek the light for a path out of his grief. There is still time to speak the truth and have it make a difference to the Yantis family.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-bc-id--rancher-shooting-wrongful-death-lawsuit-20171013-story.html

The person who announced the public memorial for Ethan made what seemed to me, an odd choice. The photo posted of the boy is in front of the large sign at the High School that reads "Lumberjack Territory." He is holding a football. I do not know if they were trying to unify the community in grief, or if they just did not see what I saw, but I felt like everyone around here would see that photo and IMMEDIATELY be reminded of Jack. I do see that the story is now national news, rather than link that photo I will link to the news story.
https://www.idahopress.com/news/local/adams-county-sheriff-s-son-dies-from-horseback-riding-accident/article_3edb371f-f539-58ca-9151-97d9c75f86af.html

Now I burn two candles. One for Jack Yantis, with a prayer that somehow his family may find peace. One for Ethan Zollman, with a prayer that somehow his family may find peace.

🙏

I do not consider these events related but they are clearly connected through the person of Sheriff Ryan Zollman, the man who helped his deputies get away with killing Jack Yantis and the father of Ethan Zollman. No one in this community was ever a threat to those children, or anyone else. We have not collapsed into the evil of a "police state" mentality. We love our neighbors, even when they make bad choices. For months, we were accused of wishing harm on the Sheriff, the deputies and their families. That insult was salt in the wound of a grief stricken community. Now all we can do is offer condolences and wonder if our love is even felt.

I am unable to find anything in either of these deaths that makes sense. All I can do is light my candles, hold the flames aloft and pray the light they shed will bring relief from the darkness that has swirled around Ryan Zollman and my community these past few years. Spirit sent me to him with a message in my heart, an offer of support because my heart said that he was lost and needed someone to shine love's light. When I reached out, he reacted with fear that he justified with lies. Now his fear has materialized and I had nothing to do with the darkness that has come to him. Perhaps somehow the light can reach him still, and so I light candles today.

I ask you to light a candle today, for Ryan, for Ethan, for Jack, for Jack's family, for my community. Perhaps this life is not so much about finding your "Twin Flame" as realizing we are all a mirror to each other and we need to be striving - always - to reflect love. The ones who are hardest to love usually need it the most. If we fill our hearts with love's light, then reflect that love to everyone we meet, there is no dark place that can not be illuminated.

Namaste, my brothers and sisters.
Attempts to document "the process" for this post are elusive. The post IS me processing some difficult thoughts. At the least, I can share a photo of me playing "Kilroy" trying to get the image I used:

This is the song I played and cried to while I posted.