This does sound like so many people I know. I, however never complained about anything even though I used to think about those things. What you think you become it is said. So I attracted those things.

It is all in the past now. I read a book called "Magic of Thinking Big" by David J Schwartz and that was a life changer for me. If you haven't read it yet, I would suggest you to do so.

Initially I didn't believe whatever is written in that book but when I applied it and it started working for me is when I started believing and applied the other things mentioned in that book.
For example, however bad mood you're in, when you keep a fake smile on your face a for about 5-10 minutes, your mood automatically changes to happy.
Absolutely love your posts. Cheers!