I started out life as a doer. But something happened to me along the way.

"See this is my opinion: we all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God's sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they'd allowed to wither in themselves."

-Robert McCammon - Boy’s Life 1991

 

I resisted all of this structure. Alarm clocks and to-do lists were the cause of insomnia. I wanted to do things. Big things. Just not the things big people wanted me to do. Those things were small to me.

I remember distinctly when I was very young, I was full of energy and ideas. But no-one takes you seriously when you’re five. Of course, I take responsibility for my habits, but there was definitely some of that spark that was trained right out of me. I had to work to get it back.

In my teenage years, and into my early 30’s, I became more of a dreamer than a doer. There were times of laziness but I did what I had to in order to get a paycheck. The real passions were relegated to dreaming, reading, planning, and scheming, without ever really doing.

It’s easier to fail by not trying. Before you take action, you can always blame something else for your failures. No time. No money. No support. No skill. No opportunity. No permission.

But once you take action...well, then if you fail you do so for the world to see. They will see you actually tried. They’ll see your mistakes and know that you were not capable.

But that’s a lie we internalize. The truth is that people tend to respect someone who tries and fails more than someone who talks about trying.

The real truth; most don’t care enough to notice in the first place.

That may sound pessimistic but I assure you, it’s great news. It means you can go ahead and put action to your dreams and not fear too much ridicule.

Of all the things I’ve tried to do, convincing people to take action on their goals is by far the most difficult. I want to help people. I’ve tried and tried again. But you cannot steer a parked car.

This article isn’t a call-out to lazy people. I’m not talking about just doing work. I’m talking about doing work that you fear. Stepping up to act on your dreams. Sharing your art with the world. Turning your invention idea into a business. It’s a call to action from the busy life that is not your own. It’s taking steps toward living life on your terms instead of what’s socially acceptable.

I’m talking about taking steps to live your authentic life.

I’ve developed a strategy for learning the skill of taking action. I’ll share what I’ve done to change from a dreamer to a doer in a minute, but first, let’s take a look at some of the things that happen as a result of acting vs. planning to act.

Action Cures Fear

Not only does action cure fear, but there is an inverse relationship between action and fear. The longer you delay in acting, the more powerful fear becomes. Thinking about the life you want without taking steps to make it happen trains your brain to believe it can’t happen. After all, if you’re not taking action on the life you want, it can’t happen. The longer you delay, the worse it gets. This is true whether you are standing on the end of a diving board, staring at a blank canvas, or daydreaming about quitting your job.

Action is the greatest teacher.

When thinking about things apart from action, learning is linear.

When accompanied by experience, learning is exponential.

Example: I came up with several ideas for ways to grow my audience before I began writing. I read books on the subject, attended seminars and webinars, and picked the brains of several friends who are professional writers.

My friend J.D. Roth from MoneyBoss.com told me, “Just write. That’s the most important thing you can do to become a writer.” That may seem obvious but it’s not uncommon for people to want to be one thing, but never actually take action and DO that thing. So it seems the best way to grow an audience is to post frequent quality content.

The act of posting daily forced me out of my comfort zone and into interviewing because I needed more content to keep up with the daily posts. The action of interviewing reminded me that I can grow my audience faster with guests because I then get my content exposed to their audience. I "knew" this from tips I had heard from other content providers. But I didn't remember it as part of my plan until I took action on the daily posting habit, and experienced the sudden uptick in followers.

Study introduces.

Experience integrates.

You are the result of experiences. Not only your own experiences; your genetic code itself is a record of past living experiences. Integration is a physical, literal description of what experience provides. Compare the study of another culture, to the act of traveling to live in that culture. Experience adds a third dimension to learning. It's the difference between the surface of the water and the ocean beneath.

Fire. Ready. Aim.

Hand in hand with the integrative nature of experiences is the feedback that action provides. You have to go out and make some mistakes before you really know what the mistakes are. When you sight in a gun, you must pull the trigger, then see where the shot landed, make a correction, try again. It’s the act of shooting that gives you the feedback on where to aim- not the other way around!

No mental simulation can prepare you for the variables of life. Only living your life can do that. I call my site LiveAllYourLife.com. Not think all your life. Wish all your life. Plan all your life.

Live.

People are more attracted to action and will come to your aid.

If you have great relationships and a good idea, you can probably find support. But when you take action, you’ll be amazed at the people you didn’t expect who will come to help you. People are attracted to action. Talk is cheap and so many people do it, that we are numbed by it. We hear of ambition or creative ideas and the next moment we forget. But when we see someone achieving something, that’s when we notice. People want to be on the winning side, not the “someday this might happen” side.

Take ownership by taking action. Start the work. And people will show up to help.

Confidence comes from doing, not wanting to do.

In fact, wanting without action destroys confidence. This may be repeating my first point, but I think it’s important to understand the self-image component of the fear caused from hesitation. Imposter syndrome only exists for me before I hit the “publish” button. Once it’s out there it just is what it is at that point. I’m not a guru, nor do I pretend to be an expert in anything. But I’m an acting, growing, moving person. So why shouldn’t I share what I learn along the way? I can always change my mind and turn around and teach the reasons why I changed my mind.

I love to teach. It’s my passion. It took me until the age of 40 to figure that out. But I sometimes feel that I’m still that inexperienced, introverted kid in highschool. The longer I dwell on an idea the more I feel incompetent. “Who am I to be teaching this? I don’t have as much experience as that other guy who’s already teaching about it.” That voice is silent when I’m taking action. Write. Do the best I can. Edit. Format. Final Readthrough. Publish. At no point in that process is there room for me to ask myself if I ought to be publishing this. Action drives it out.

Then I get feedback as I mentioned above. I either win or learn from that feedback. Good, bad, or ugly, it’s almost all useful. But I’m too busy working as a writer to consider whether I am good enough to be a writer or not.

Most regrets are not from mistakes made, but opportunities lost.

It’s not normal for me to reference the same author multiple times in one post, but again my friend J.D. has some good stuff to say here. (We think about a lot of the same things and both have a passion for helping people gain control of their lives. It’s one of the many reasons we’re friends. The whisky is good too.)

“On your deathbed, you want to have lived a life without regret. To do that, you need to face and defeat your fears. You need to find joy in day-to-day activities, and use that happiness as a platform to procure passion and purpose. You need to forge freedom, both personal and financial.”

Notice that everything he describes as ingredients for avoiding regret are action-oriented: Face fears. Find joy. Procure passion and purpose. Forge freedom.

(Nice alliteration there J.D.)

In other words. Take action now to avoid regrets in the future. It’s less likely that you’ll regret your failures. Far more likely that you’ll regret missed opportunities.

Things I’ve done to become a doer:

So how did I go from a lazy teenager and a 30-something dreamer to a 40-something man of action? How did I regain and retrain that spark of youthful action?

I’m still learning. Life is complex. But here are a few things I’ve done that have been a massive step forward for me.

1: Reduce expectations.

I used to envision the me I wanted to be. Then, set up a plan of what that would look like and have a step by step roadmap of activities that would turn me into the person I wanted to be. But damn. That’s a lot of work.

Now I start a new habit with such a small commitment that it seems ridiculous to not do it. I’ve recently read about someone who started a new flossing habit this way. They hated flossing their teeth so they made the commitment to just floss one tooth. That’s it. If they floss one tooth, they can check off the habit on their calendar and feel successful. Of course, this begins an upward spiral. Taking action in a very small way is still building positive momentum in your life.

My approach is something I actually learned from CrossFit. I know that if you have work to do, somehow it’s easier if you know there is an end to it that is close at hand. To implement a new action habit, I initially commit to a certain amount of time. Usually 10 minutes. That’s just enough time to get something done (especially in early stages when any action is infinitely better than no action). I literally set a timer. Want to be a writer? Learn guitar? Start a side business after work to eventually replace your job? Commit to 10 minutes of actual work - planning, reading, dreaming doesn’t count. Set a timer, pick up the guitar, don’t set it down until the alarm goes off. You’ll be amazed at the momentum you gain by doing this every single day.

My writing habit started with 10 minutes per day. Now it’s up to a blog post per day. Some, like this one, take hours. I specifically did not commit to a blog post per day initially because I knew how much work that is. I was afraid I would fail. But the 10-minute commitment evolved gradually, and now I have such momentum that I am enjoying the process of hitting that publish button every day.

2: I only set goals that are in my direct control.

I wrote an entire blog post on this here. Bottom line: I don’t set S.M.A.R.T. goals, I set habit goals that are in my direct control. I cannot control the outcomes (how many followers I get, how many shares a post gets), but I can control my actions. I can control whether I hit the publish button or not.

3: I Reduce Friction.

Again- read my recent post all about this. Remove obstacles that make work even more work. Even if they seem trivial: I never keep my guitar in its case. It’s out and accessible. One step closer to being picked up and practiced.

4: I don’t make extra work for myself by over-organizing.

As I mentioned above, I used to make big plans to do big things. I would organize and list and study. I still do, but it is no longer a prerequisite for work. In fact, I try to do the work first. After I hit the publish button on this post, then I am going to read and take some notes.

Just dive into the mess and do work. Sort it out later. I know this is counter to most productivity advice but organizing, cleaning my desk, making lists, all of it can just turn into a way to convince myself that I’m busy working when really I’m busy not working.

If you get value from these tasks like I do, just make sure you do at least your minimum commitment of work before you organize. If your desk needs cleaning, ok. Write for at least 10 minutes first. Then clean your desk. Or don’t. It doesn’t really matter because you’ve already done the work.

5: Motivation follows action.

Most people get this completely wrong. They read self-help books and go to motivational seminars in hopes of getting inspired to do the thing they want to do. I was guilty of this for almost 20 years!

But that is backward thinking. Your emotions are a reaction to events. You can't reliably drum them up when it's convenient. In order to get motivated- take action first. Then you'll feel motivated by the actions you've done.

Lights. Camera. Action. NO!

Ready. Aim. Fire. NO!

Not feeling it? Depressed? Unmotivated? Afraid? Tired?

Just dance damn it. The music will start eventually.

6: The most important take-away from this entire post:

The sooner you act, the easier it is to act.

Acting sooner eliminates fear, gives you more freedom, builds confidence, skills, experience...all of the above-mentioned benefits are amplified by taking action sooner rather than later.

Making mistakes is better than making nothing.

Doing is better than dreaming.

Being is better than wanting to be.

Experience is the meaning of life.

Go live it.