RE: If you had to choose between your passion and a high-paying job, what would be your choice?
@vcelier mentioned citing, you could fix it for this one- here's my formula- in brackets [ ] I put the word source, and next to it in parentheses I paste the web address, like this: source then stick it underneath the picture. Other people go to the bottom of their page and say Sources for Images: Then using brackets and parentheses they put numbers 1 2 etc., either way is acceptable. (One spelling error, no big deal we all do it, but wether- is whether)
Okay, so here's my honest critique. I like the whole idea behind this piece, and fully agree with it. But it's written a bit like an essay. I would suggest you write it conversationally, use your own unique voice. If you click on Source I put a link to an article by @meesterboom. You'll see that people really respond to those that are putting themselves in their work- he swears constantly, haha, and says completely outrageous things, but it makes him real to people, makes him stand out. I also stuck two more great bloggers in 1 and 2 @nonameslefttouse and @therealpaul
(Out of those three, the only one you could safely pitch is @therealpaul, I would comment a number of times on the other blogs before politely asking what you asked of me-and probably drop my name as having sent you to them lol)
Wow, thanks so much for all the feedback!
Never knew my texts were formatted like an essay. I'm in college, so I'm pretty used to writing stuff with this kind of format. I'll try something different next time :D Thank you! Definitely will check out the other great bloggers you pointed out and will try to format my stuff a bit like them.
Oops, nope, I definitely don't mean that you should try to be like someone else, I only mean to show you how people use their own voice :) Trying to be someone else won't work either. What we want, is to see You. To know You. You put your thoughts and ideas into this, but what is missing is your feelings I think. Maybe an example from your own life, for instance in my case, my dad worked for the state as a nurse administrator for most of his life, and he did not like his job. What he really loved to do was paint and draw, but he sacrificed his passion for the idea of a steady income, then when he retired instead of being able to do all of the things he'd hoped, travelling especially, his body began to fail him. My husband says "Do what you love, and the money will come." And fortunately we've been living by that motto.
Details like this are what creates a connection between you and the reader, helps them feel as if they are getting to know you, enables people to even begin viewing you as a friend. Though commenting as you did with me today is also huge here, probably the most important, and you definitely have a grasp on that, so that's great. (By the way, I saw that vcelier called you sir, and people definitely tend to make assumptions about people's sex here, so are you a sir? lol)