The Bodybuilder - Short Story Part 1
Part 1: How They Met
They met at a book store. Both of them were in the computer programming section. Patricia was looking for a book for beginners. Vince was looking for a gift for a friend. She took a step in front of him and knelt down to grab a book. Vince couldn't help but notice her. She turned around to apologize.
"That's okay," he said with a blush.
She stood up with the book in her hand: programming for dummies. Vince took a quick look at the book then looked away. Patricia laughed.
"Yeah I'm a noob," she said without shame.
"Hey I was looking for a gift for a friend, I can't even turn mine on half the time..."
"I think I have that part down," she replied with a smile.
"Then you're already ahead of me."
There was a pause. Vince tried to think of something to say.
"Why programming?" he asked.
"Something I always wanted to learn, now that work is going well I have the time to do it."
"Where do you work?"
"I'm a body builder, I do shows and events."
"Really, that's so cool. I was going to say you look like you're in great shape but I thought that would be a little creepy coming from a stanger."
"A little but you're cute so I think you could've got away with it."
"Then you have an amazing body."
Patricia gave him a look. "I was wrong," she joked, "still creepy."
Vince turned red, "I think I need a dating for dummies book."
"You're not doing too bad."
"So how many hours a day do you need to workout to be a pro?" he asked.
"You don't want to know... but I love it. Do you want to see something?"
"Sure."
Patricia lifted up her shirt to show him her abs. She had amazing definition, like a photo in a magazine.
"That is incredible."
She smiled and lowered her shirt.
"I feel like I should show you my stomach now," he said, "but that might put an early end to the conversation."
She laughed. "It's too bad you don't know how to program, you could've help me to figure it out."
"Oh... well I know other things I can teach you... I can... juggle."
"Juggle?"
"Yes... who doesn't want to juggle?"
Patricia looked Vince in the eyes. He gave her a warm smile.
"Alright, well would you like to teach me to juggle?"
"I would love to."
They both took out their phones. After an exchange of numbers, Vince nodded and left the book store. He would find a gift for his friend somewhere elese.
This was a nice flirty encounter, that serves as a good meet cute between the two. It's very written, but I couldn't help but notice a few grammatical errors. I don't want to list them all in this comment, unless you want me to. It would be great if you take another look at it and correct them all, it would be a shame if it took away from this awesome piece.
Thanks for the interest @jedau, please feel free to list any errors if you wish. I just did a quick fix of a couple. It is hard with editing on steemit, you want the work to be high quality but when you know no on might see it you feel like you need to do more quantity at times.
"I was a wrong," should be "I was wrong", I need a daing for dummies should be "dating", work-out should be workout-- these are just some of the ones I spotted quickly. I'm operating under the mentality that your work should be the best quality that it could be even though no one might read it, because it'll leave a lasting impression for those that eventually do.
Trust me, I'm discouraged by the lack of interaction on Steemit all the time, that's why I try to help other people out whenever I can. If I'm not getting comments on my own posts, at least other people won't suffer the same fate. I hope this helps out even a little bit.
And fixed :). Good for you for staying positive.
These days I'm in the red and I'm just trying to focus on helping others haha!
Well if we help each other we can get there faster.
Right you are! But, very few help me, so there's not a lot I can do about that haha!
I've already added you on Steemvoter, 100% with 20 min delay.
Thanks, I just did the same. I will post that you are in the group tomorrow and add your comment suggestion.
Thanks for the inclusion! I hope the others are receptive of the comment thing. Emphasize that 24 comments on a young post would be HUGE for discoverability. The post would be trending for sure, and would encourage additional interaction from others.