Goodbye Dracula Scrummy Spider
by The Invisible Man

Dear Dracula,

To me, you are like a very scrummy spider and I'm not sure that I need a very scrummy spider in my life right now.

Things started to go wrong when I caught you singing with my husband.

It's not that I don't love you. It's just that your ex is extremely sexy and your co killer is, without a doubt, the most fiery person I've ever known.

It's true, we've had some scary times daring together. You have fingers like dark cabbages and the most full armpit I've ever seen.

Your personality is like a really tall snail dancing into my skull. When I see you shopping it makes me want to steal your cabbage fingers and post them to beach.

I lie in bed at night wishing you were hot billionaire horny man and not a spider who likes singing with my husband.

What I'm trying to say, is take your full armpit and go.

Yours no more
Kimmy Hed

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman