SteemFest 2016: A Tale of Debauchery in Amsterdam – Day 2, Part 1
I rose from my drunken slumber. Saturday morning was gone. I was missing the greatest event in Europe since the 2006 FIFA World Cup!
I checked my phone. It was 12:40. SteemFest was well underway. My head was splitting. I drank a glass of water, showered, and headed down to the hotel’s restaurant. I ordered a martini, then another, and I made my way to the event. I already missed Ned’s presentation. If I moved quickly, I could make it in time for The Dollar Vigilante.
I had almost made it to the Tobacco Theater. But just as I was about to reach the building, I saw a sign that read “Pannenkoekenhuis.” I thought that this word sounded a lot like “Pancake House.” I was very interested to find out. I took a right turn around the Nes supermarket and there it was.
I walked up the staircase. It was narrow and pretty steep. I wouldn’t recommend climbing them while drunk, so it was a good thing that I wasn’t drunk yet. This was a very tiny pancake house. There were maybe a half dozen tables. I waited a few minutes until a seat cleared. Then I was in business.
I ordered a pancake with bacon in it. Yes, that’s right. The bacon was cooked into the batter! It also had apples and cheese. It was a heavenly delight. I finished that one and ordered another. This one was a banana and cream pancake with cinnamon. It was the best pancake experience I’ve ever had!
This Pannenkoekenhuis is where they should have had SteemFest!
I checked my phone. It was 1:30. I was missing The Dollar Vigilante. Well I wouldn’t say that I was missing him. But you get the idea. I wasn’t at the biggest event in the world on that day. I needed to get there. It was only a couple minutes away on foot, so I paid my bill and carefully ventured back down the deadly staircase.
The pancakes had sobered me up a little. I couldn’t have any of that. I made my way to what looked like a coffee shop and bar. The name was Kaminsky, or something like that. I drank a double gin and tonic and grabbed one for the road. Now I was feeling a little better about being around strange people in a strange place.
I arrived at the main hall of the theater around 2:15. I snuck into the back of the room. I didn’t know who was speaking. But it sounded like they were talking about Project Curie. It didn’t look very festive in there to me. I walked back outside.
“What am I doing here? I don’t even know any of these people,” I thought. “They probably don’t even know me by my username.”
I walked back to Kralinsky’s, or whatever it was called. The place was kind of dead. I was about to order another drink, but I returned to my hotel instead. At the piano bar, I saw the same bartender as the night before. He had just arrived. Another Stella Artois for me and I took my seat again at the window.
Then I saw her.
She was passing by the bar in those same black heels. But today she was wearing a black skirt. It was just slightly above her knees. Same gray coat and strawberry blonde hair. She looked better than I remembered from the night before.
The bartender was pouring a beer. It was also a Stella. What are the odds? She took the glass and starting walking across the bar.
Towards me!
She smiled at me and in her English accent she said, “Afternoon. Did you sleep well this morning?”
She handed me the beer. I was a little more than confused.
“Yes. I mean, no. Well I slept fine, just not long enough.” I wasn’t sure how to react. I didn’t know her name. I didn’t know why she was in my room last night. I didn’t know why she was standing in front of me and talking to me right now. “I’m sorry. I don’t really know what we did last night. I don’t even remember your name.”
She chuckled. “Where are your mates? Are you really here alone? No family? No colleagues?”
“Well,” I paused. I didn’t know how to address her. I asked again, “What should I call you?”
“Call me anything you’d like. Does it matter, really? Our names? Is that why you come to Amsterdam? To learn names?”
I guess she was right. Our names weren’t important. I would be leaving on Monday and had no intentions of starting or maintaining a relationship with anyone.
“Alright,” I said. “But what did we do last night?”
Another image flashed in my head.
“You really don’t remember? Pity. You rather enjoyed yourself. As did I.” She smiled and brushed her hair behind her ears. “Do you want another go tonight?”
“Look. I’m really confused here. You seem like a nice lady, but – ”
“You’re thinking too much. I had a splendid evening. That’s all that matters now.” She reached into her pocket and then held her hand out to me. “Give me your mitt.”
I reached over the table and opened my hand. She placed a small tablet it in. It was tan with little flecks of brown all over it. I turned it over. There was a marijuana leaf stamped on the other side. I knew what this little pill was.
“This is ecstasy.”
“Well done, Sherlock.” Her accent sounded much thicker with those words. So did her sarcasm. “Do you know what to do with it?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Of course. But it’s been a while. I haven’t seen these since my college days.”
“Eat up then, darling.”
“And what about the beers? I haven’t touched them.”
She just stared at me. I looked down at the pill again. I was ready to have fun and hoped that this time I would remember the night. I swallowed it. She stood up and reached her open hand towards me. “Shall we?”
I took it and we walked out of the bar. As we headed down the hall to my room, she said, “If it’s no trouble for you, I’ve invited a friend. She’ll arrive shortly.”
I felt like this was a wonderful dream. Or that perhaps I was about to be robbed and murdered. I couldn’t be sure of anything. But at the same time, I didn’t care. SteemFest 2016 was going to be memorable! I just knew it! And this British babe and her mysterious friend were going to make sure of it!
We were in my room for about ten minutes when I began feeling a little flush. The ecstasy seemed to be working quickly even with some alcohol in me. The sexy little Brit had removed her coat. She was wearing a white lace top with spaghetti straps. She took it off. She cracked open the window and then reached into her coat pocket. She pulled out another pill and ate it. Then she kicked off her heels and sat on the floor across from me.
“So, what kind of fun shall we have tonight?” She stared into my eyes. I felt a bit uneasy. But damn this pill was really starting to hit me hard! She ran her hand across my legs.
“I’m up for anything, I guess.” The last words trailed off as I closed my eyes and felt her fingers on my thigh. There was a soft knock on the door.
“Fabulous! She’s arrived!” She leapt to her feet and skipped over to the door. She was topless but still in her black skirt. As she turned the handle, she looked back at me through her hair. “Prepare to be delighted. My friend is a masseuse!”
SGL
End of Day Two, Part One
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