[Story] City of the Damned ( Part I)

in #story7 years ago

Hello guys, I managed to finish my first story written this year. I try to expand my horizons and I want to write about a lot of things. This is the first part. There will be two or three more till the end. I hope you'll like it.


Get in line, magots.” the growly voice of the guard rang in my ear. “Hurry up, I don’t have all day!

It’s your fucking job! What else do you have to do?” I thought, not daring to say that out loud.

I look around me, trying to get a peak of the place where we were brought. Twenty other teens like me are moving their heads as well. Everybody is curious where we are.

City of Damned. That was the place where the judge sent us. We all heard stories about this place. The streets are filled with scary stories about it. You can enter, but nobody leaves the City.

I’m getting of the bus, welcomed by a huge gate. I look up to see how high the walls are but I don’t see the end.

Move it, magot! Were not here for sightseeing.” the impatient guard from earlier yells at me, shoving a baton in my ribs.

Lead by the guard, we pass through the gate, then a long corridor and we enter into a small dark room that smelled like despair. In there, at a small desk, is a man in a nice suit, flanked by two gorillas in black.

These many?” the man in the suit asks the guard.

Yes, Monsignor! This is the last group for this month! In here you have their files,” the guard handed over a flash drive to this Monsignor. He saluted and left in a hurry.

I’m not sure why, but I started to understand why he didn’t want to stay in this place anymore. Only by passing that gave I felt chills on my back. Who is that man at the desk? Why the look in his eyes frightens me?

Monsignor inserted the flash drive in the desk and the holographic screen lightened up. I never saw one of these before. Only in movies. Suddenly, I became very interested of this facility. If it has this kind of technology, it can’t be that bad. At least not as bad as the slums.

Interesting” the Monsignor voice was heard in the room. “We have a very good batch of people this month!

Getlemen! Welcome to the City of Damned.I am the Monsignor here. The man that will guide your transition here. The moment you passed through that gate your life was sealed. You are Damned. Your life is done. You belong to me now.” he rose from his desk coming toward us. The two gorillas followed him immediately.

You are here because you are scum. Worst of the worst. You are a disease in our society. A cancer that needs to be cut down. That no medicine could ever cure. But don't worry. After years and year of suffering the cure was found. The City of Damned. We are the solution to the problem of your existence. We will educate you here and you will learn how painful life can really be. You will transform yourself, or you’ll be erased.

His eyes looked over with contempt. I dared to look toward him for a second and our eyes met. I could feel my soul freeze. I shake my head, trying to get rid of that feeling.

Image source:Pixabay


This is the end of the first part. If you liked it, give it an upvote. The next bit will be up tomorrow. Let me know if you like it so far.

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you write good story
good imagination
good luck we wait party 2

This is a nice effort. I like your imagery and your dialogue is very effective. Keep it up, a little polish on your grammar and you'll have some really solid writing here! @markrmorrisjr come visit me some time.

Thanks for the feedback. I know that my grammar is so and so, English is not my first language and I always make some mistakes here and there.

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