Alice and the Forks

Which fork?

Alice arrived just in time for supper, the table was set out with fine china and tea. The food in front of her Began to grow Bigger and Bigger.

Bananas

Berries

Buttermilk cookies

Bread and Butter pudding

and

Blood oranges

She was about to ask Bob to pour the tea when something most peculiar happened, another fork appeared, then another one and another one. She had more forks than she knew what to do with.

'Which fork should I use?' Alice asked Bob.
'The right one!' said Bob.
'The one on my right?' asked Alice.
'No,' said Bob, 'the right one.'
Alice thought this was very strange and continued to look at the growing array of forks By her plate with great confusion. Suddenly a loud shriek came from the other end of the table, causing Bob to fall off his seat in surprise.
'What on Mars was that?' Alice asked.
'Oh don't mind that,' said Bob picking himself up from the floor, 'that was just the Hodldoddlebird. It has laid another egg.'
A little voice started to chant at the other end of the table, 'Sell, sell, sell, sell, sell...'
'Pssssssss,' whispered Alice to Bob. 'Who is that?'
'Don't mind him,' said Bob, 'that's just FUD.'
'I didn't realise he was there,' said Alice.
'Oh he's always there,' said Bob, 'just ignore him. Or is that ignore the Hodldoddlebird? I can't remember, But listen to one and ignore the other.'
'But which one?' asked Alice.
'The right one!' said Bob
'Oh,' said Alice puzzled at Bob's remark. She looked down at the table, she had too many forks to choose from. Her attention quickly turned to her plate. 'How strange,' she said.
'What is?' asked Bob
'It's just nuts,' replied Alice
'Yes it is,' agreed Bob.

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