You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: Chattels and Chains

in #story6 years ago

This wan an interesting story @brisby. At first, i so not used to the language you used in the story. I need to read twice to understand it. But once i get used to it, the story flow smoothly and it attracted me on how both of you work together to finish a story. The pattern of both of you on deliver a story a bit different but it still goes smoothly. Especially with the hand sketch drawing. But the youtube link in second part seems doesn't work.
The storyline were fantastic especially you did cover a bit of summary on chapter 1 to first time reader read your chapter 2 story. Now I want to read your chapter 1 after I left this comment. Both of you always write together?

Sort:  

UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliments! I will write here as a stand-in for @brisby (but do expect @brisby to type up a reply for yah). The accents we used in this language is indeed not found in "pop" English works; however, the authenticity of the characters and building a believable World around that for which the reader can actually be in takes a higher priority. Mind you that "pop" English isn't the only accent of English (this is not mention even the pidgin and creole versions of English at all). Regardless, thanks once again for the compliments; especially with your remarks on our work ethic, writing styles, (our shameless) artistry and @brisby's summary. Anywho, @brisby linked above a link to the first chapter, but I shall link here with this clickable link in green rn for yah to see the first chapter.

Happy steemin' and happy holidays!

How you all learn the ancent english in this story @theironfelix ? You need to write it in a way that readers able to understand and continue to read the story. If not, readers who do not have passion they won't continue to read it because of difficulty in understand what you try to express. Both you and @brisby have done it very well. Your story attracted my attention and I just read the whole article in one breath. Good job.

Posted using Partiko Android

Have yah ever... seen the World? I'm just wondering because "pop" English is not the only form of English and only is popular because it gets more promoted than other forms of English. "Pop" English isn't even "simplified" English nor even "standardized" English. The only reason really "pop" English is used more in literature is due to Publishing houses catering more to English-speaking city dwellers than anywhere else. (Which I must remind yah that this trend has been entirely wavy, where "simple/standardized" English used to be way more popular in certain respects and other times "Academic" and "Slang" English accents were more popular.)

Even so, I philosophically and economically have a problem with your entire reply. Who are the readers, first and foremost? Steemit, especially within the writing community alone, is a multi-faceted and multi-ethnic background. So already from there, a writer can never create an accent that'll appease to even a simple majority of writers; only niches where the rest can learn the accent any writer uses and then appreciate it. And to "be a Jack of All Trades" writer when it comes to the language would economically be taxing on the pockets of the writer, lead to uncreative and "tapped out" stories, make the reader not fully understand the Universe due to the style getting in the way of content and be mentally taxing on the writer who has to worry about every lil' word. My style corresponds well with the content presented here; poor people speak in slurred accents since the economic systems and society tends to not favor poor people and leave them behind.

Let's not forget that, with such varying backgrounds, readers are not people that look for easy shit in life. They want to be respected and not treated as children, the way a thing is written is what carries the story. What yah suggest there is not what yah really state here, yah really mean to say "dumb it down" - however, as aforementioned, that leads to everyone sounding the same and hampers the ability to tell the difference in literally anything (from dialogue, narration and setting). Actually, take a gander at the entire canon of English Works alone and try filtering those works to yer advice; most would immediately fail, that including of Shakespeare. And I don't make myself look like a Shakespeare, but your reply would equally and immediately declare him a failure as well. (When economic reality suggests very much otherwise, very much.) And mind yah that Shakespeare indirectly lead to the creation of a couple hundred words in the English Language alone. And his crowds and his actors definitely had fucking trouble understanding some of the words he used - yet with so many unfamiliar words, he still got popular as he did.

So I don't know what yah are trying to express here, truly. I got history, economy and philosophy on my side here really. And they say: write the damn work and don't be indecisive. For that's what drives readers away: incompetancy and not using your biases to the best of your abilities to drive home a work. To have no language, no accent, no way of differentiation between characters, those things will kill reader attention. To make things easy or spoon-feed at all, that'll kill a story since they can guess things way ahead of time.

But what do I know, as a child of non-English immigrants that had to, without any help but the instruction of English-speaking teachers, learn English as a first language? What do I know of accents, where everyone around me speaks a million different accents and came from a different million backgrounds? What do I know where I've seen people from various backgrounds who struggle to read or have fun with "the popular works" that do have "pop"/"understandable" English as its only accent, yet have no troubles with other accents? What do I know as a person that sees and hears people that literally use the slanged accent from the story like its their own language; I must admit that they may use it in a more crazier magnitude than I really wish to detail here? What do I know of people that struggle everyday with their jobs yet get satisfaction from their suffering/labouring? Well maybe those people know and can help me type their own answers in, but I think I can stand-in for them and simply say they like the challenge and not all of them find "pop" English suitable.

Indeed, the crowd yah want me to cater to... is literally a NICHE; just like my crowd and every other crowd! There are people that want to read "simple"/"pop" literature even when they're academics and scientists. And there are people that are farmers and poor folk that love "complex" literature. The point is, however: you're not the anchor point of every reader and I am neither. We serve just one out of many different niches and will have our own fine tastes which might extend, to varying degrees, good or bad to other fine tastes.

And if this at all seems anywhere complex to yah what I wrote, this is literally the simplest a non-English English-speaking descendant tends to write. I made the effort to study, speak, write and think in the English language, your English-speaking ærs who had the benefit of not only having to speak English, but to be able to read English works and live your life under an English-speaking state can pick up the damn hassle.

Yah have a problem with that? Go live in the rural side or travel outside of the suburbs to live in the city; yer entire perspective of language will change in a mere second. Or maybe that's economically straining. Fine. Go read literature that doesn't appeal to yer lingual sensibilities and actually read them without being snobbish. But maybe that's still too much; how about using the internet and finding forums of people, especially writers, who come from non-English-speaking lineages/areas yet communicate in English. Or maybe open your eyes and realize that your "universal" aide is a niche comment that should only belong to your niche community that'll appreciate it more than any other niche communities that love to bend the language to varying degrees to get a story across. Truly, fo' sho' they'll love it as it'll help foster their community; every where else, keep in mind not everyone will appreciate your niche remarks. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Hi @theironfelux, i apologize if i have said something which made you misunderstand. I just want to express my salute to the writers to write such a good story. No other means than that. Thank you for your explaination. I love to read but not good in writing. So i always admire who know how to write.

Posted using Partiko Android

Ah, well I am sincerely sorry if I shook yah. It really is hard to tell accents on the internet when it's walls of text. I must admit I am tipsy and probably should've wrote when I was sober. I salute to yah for reading through my near-kneejerk reply. Regardless, if yah take a second to inspect the accents, we both speak in the same accident and that wasn't on accident. Happy Holidays (what remains of that for yah)! Sorry once more for the harsh reply!

When I'm really lovin' somethin'.gif

😊 Happy Holidays to you too! No worries, i totally agreed that internet only a wall of text and expressionless. I love your gif by the way. You created all these?

Posted using Partiko Android

This gif, not made by me. Any other gif, more than likely. Yeah, gifs are a great (contingent) thing on the internet when walls of text can't do the job properly.

Heck yeah, somethin' cool happen'd.gif
(This gif and the last gif where made by Gears for Breakfast which made the game called "A Hat in Time")

Felix is always dropping the best gif's! Happy Holidays to you as well Oliviackl!

Yes i love his gift very much. Happy New year!!

Posted using Partiko Android

I know your point and I quite agree with it 😉

Thank you @f3nix 😊 Happy New Year!!

Posted using Partiko Android

Happy new year to you Oli! ☺

Thanks so much for reading our story and your compliments and comment! 🤗 I checked the link and it seems to be working fine now but I'm glad that you let me know that it wasn't so that I could give it a fix. Thanks as well for the heads up on that!
When first posting, I hadn't included the summary and your mention makes me happy that I edited it to be included. With a longer continued storyline, I figured that a quick review would be helpful.
Felix's writing style is wonderfully unique and immersive, isn't it? The accents and turns of descriptive phrasing pull a reader into the expansive universe that Felix has created. It is far from common and does take some getting used to but that you took the time to appreciate it and try to understand is a great respect you've given us, thank you so very much for that! This is one of the reasons that I enjoy Steemit so much. We can find writings, poems, videos, etc. that give us a glimpse into the minds and creations of people so different from ourselves and come out with something new to enjoy! To know that you wanted to read the first chapter after our second one is a high compliment! 😁
Felix and I met through the Finish the Story Contest hosted by @bananafish - I included the recent link to the winners post and the contest will begin again on January 3rd following a hiatus for the holidays. I hope that you will come and play with us! This storyline is the first project that we've worked on together.
Thank you again for your great comments and I hope that you have yourself a wonderful day/evening and a fantastic New Year!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.20
TRX 0.13
JST 0.030
BTC 66437.31
ETH 3491.76
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.69