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RE: Cape Town Truth and Reconciliation

in #story7 years ago

Your writing is a bit overly descriptive in my opinion and sorry if I seem very opinionated. Focus more on the narrative and less on the physical detail. I'm going to follow you. I'm also based in Cape Town and I find this post encouraging, I know what you are trying to get at, but you are not getting at it 100% yet. I get the feeling you have a story to tell, but you are having trouble telling the story.

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@trumanity is out of steemit bandwidth again - too many edits re-edits comments and upvotes in steemland, so here comes his left brain ....

I read and re-read this part of your comment, @netscape101

" I know what you are trying to get at.."

and much like you, I am still not 100% sure what your interpretation is about what he is 'getting at'. But certainly, that some one 'knows what was intended' is encouraging to any writer.

It originated in a narrative poem, and I felt it should be turned into this thing here. A very weak story, but it is one all the same: a man returns after many years and spends a day with an old friend - they look at people - they share recollections. they talk and smoke a joint. Neither of them have names. Both of them say very little because they are people of few words. They are engaged in nothing unique, just reconciling the past with the present day. These are typically Capetonian or South African characters are they not? They say little. When they do, they apologise for saying it. They live guarded against being singled out, derided, criticised.

As indicated in the self-reflection at the end of the post, it needs a more work. Having a small audience and feedback constitutes a strong motivation. Thank you.

I value the follow and your comment. You have added to my internal discourse, so I will give some of my bandwidth away and upvote it to the max 100% upvote (all of SBD 0.01) - wow!

You are good at writing, perhaps the story just lacked a bit of a story. I found it entertaining though. I recommend write a story of someone who had a very tough life, somebody who went to jail very young and came out and now spends his days on the streets of Cape Town. If you look on Cape Town streets there are some very tough guys who were very high ranking numbers when they were younger, and after the get released the become homeless,sadly. Here is such a story: https://www.health24.com/Lifestyle/Man/News/How-this-ex-prisoner-has-his-facial-tattoos-removed-and-cleans-up-his-life-20141211

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