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RE: Short story: The Rebel, original by @janaveda
An intriguing beginning. You're a good storyteller.
NOTES: Your writing is not bad, but needs an editor. You are prone to run-on sentences throughout the copy. For example, the first paragraph would likely be edited thusly:
It was a pandemonium. Most people had long since left the city. The few [who remained], were clinging to memories of the lifestyle we had before the coalition [took] control of the city.
Good observation and advice
Thank you
Thank you very much for your pertinent comments, and I understand you liked the story, if so, I will have achieved my goal.
You are right, and in that sense, I agree with you, I need an editor or let some time pass before publishing the final version of the stories. For example, the Rebel, I wrote it this morning based on one of my previous post, entitled: The Captain. It is not a continuation, but a situation that runs parallel to the same event and obviously linked.
I am starting a new facet in my life as a storyteller, and criticisms like yours are greatly valued. The best parts of my learning, I have achieved in a self-taught way, analyzing, and applying how well others do. So, I will take your recommendations very seriously, I will read your writings regularly to learn through your works.
Thanks.
Good luck and keep writing.