The Dare Devil - A Short Story

in story •  2 years ago


Hey everyone, wanted to share a short story I have been working on. This is the first story I have written in over a decade, since college and my creative writing class actually. Seeing all the awesome work people are putting out on Steemit has inspired me to get back at it, and this is my creative writing introduction to Steemit. I hope you enjoy and leave me any and all feedback in the comments!

The Dare Devil

He stands at the top of the ramp, staring down, tracing his approach path through the perfectly compacted brown dirt. He takes a glance down at his bike one last time. The bike is made for this jump, tuned to his exact specifications. Made solely to fly him from here to the other side of the stadium.

He's done this countless times before, every time performing the same checks. Helmet fastened. Boots laced. Gloves strapped. He's ready to roll.

Between him and glory stand twelve school buses. Each one lined up end to end. It will be a new World record. No one has dared jump this far before. No one. He can feel the anticipation in the crowd building. He revs his engine. The crowd roars. He revs again. The crowd roars louder.

Beads of sweat hang from his brow, anxious for him to make the jump. The world goes quiet. He can hear his heart beat. Feel the blood flowing through his veins. He takes a final deep breath. Engine Rev. The world comes back. The crowd begins to chant his name. Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! He guns the bike towards the ramp. The chanting grows, Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

The crowd on either side of him zips by in streaks of color. The wind whoosing through the gaps in his helmet. The takeoff ramp grows, bigger and bigger. He's at the perfect speed. Center of the ramp. He jerks his bike upwards as he hits the end of the ramp.

Suddenly he's weightless. The world is quiet once again. The buses seem to move in slow motion as if he is standing still while the world moves beneath. His landing is drawing near. His speed was perfect. Easily reaching the landing he braces for impact.

The bikes shocks groan as the wheels hit the dirt. His body is thrown forward, but instinctively he revs the engine re-centering himself. He squeezes the brakes. The wheels lock and the bike skids to a halt. He has done it. A new World Record! The chants of his name continue. Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! He latches onto a single voice from the crowd.

Jimmy! It's his mother's voice. Jimmy! She calls again. He made the jump just in time. It's getting late and he hasn't eaten all day, must be time for dinner. He waves to his friends as they slowly take the boards off the milk crates disassembling the ramp, "See you guys tomorrow," Jimmy yells to them. He's already looking forward to what they will do tomorrow.

Isn't summer vacation the best?, he thinks to himself as he pedals his ten speed back home.

boy with bike.jpeg

Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed. All feedback is welcome!

Image 1 Source
Image 2 Source

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This is absolutely awesome. May I share this at MSP Creative Fiction as an example?


If you think it is a good example, absolutely!!! I'm glad you liked it!


Yep. It rings all the bells for me. :-)


Me too! This is GREAT! The very simplicity of it is masterful. Too many writers suffer the delusion that fancy-schmancy prose or metaphor-laden, murky, mysterious prose is the hallmark of talent. Opposite is true: remind me to tell the story of Ted Kooser....


Thank you so much. Metaphors and fancy prose just seem too complicated for me, especially since I am just getting back into writing, so telling a story that I would enjoy reading is most important to me right now. Thank you for reading!

This very well written. A joy to read. Thank you Max.

good stuff. Reminds me of my childhood. No water breaks, no food for hours, just cruising around on bikes and yes, taking jumps!


Yeah, I can remember spending an entire day outside just playing with friends, being forced to come home and eat dinner, eat it as fast as humanly possible, just so I could go back out and play some I would love to go back to that! lol Glad you liked it, thanks for reading.

Maybe check out posts of @b0y2k if you need pics ;)


Thanks for the heads up! Yeah, some of those pics would have been good! We'll see if I take this story further, might have to hit him up for a few.

I absolutely LOVE the contrast between the first photo and the final photo. :-)


Thank you, I thought they were two perfect photos for this story. Surprising how many stock photos of kids on bikes you have to go through to find the perfect one ;)

Great story, thank you for the fond memories of summer.


Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed it, I hope there will be more short stories to come. I have a few ideas brewing, just need to put the ideas together and get them written!

The stories you give are very useful and helpful thank you for your stories and experiences@mk40

I am very happy to read it

REALLY like this man, and love how descriptive your writing is! Had no problem painting a picture as I read. Great work.


Thank you so much! I do feel good about this one, as a first story in a long time goes. Love all the feedback I am getting so far!

This post received a 0.8% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @mk40! For more information, click here!

<3 coolll!! .


Glad you liked it! Really enjoyed your poem, I am pulling for you to win the Steemvoter!

Very nice light read :)


Thanks for reading, I was kicking this idea around for a long time before I put it together. Now I got the itch for more!

Well written. Doesnt make me belie e that you have written this first time. Awesome work


I'm glad you enjoyed! I used to write a bunch, and have been thinking of this idea for a long time, but this really is the first time I have written a story in a long long time. Just didn't have the time or the venue to write in.

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awesome , i follow you