Bi-Polar (Living Life on a Roller Coaster) My True Story

Every person has Emotions, it's the amplification of these emotions that makes a person living with Bi-Polar disorder extremely rough. I was diagnosed with this disorder roughly 8 years ago and never quite understood what it really meant or how it would effect my life. How can simple mood swings classify as a Disorder, you ask. Let me explain what this disorder really is and what effects it has on your Mental state while suffering from it. I will also explain how to spot warning signs if someone you love might be suffering from the same Disorder.

Full Definition Via Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

I wanted to give you this definition and point out a specific section of this definition for a reason. I have posted some weird stuff on here out of the Blue and want you to understand that my intentions are not to cause trouble. I do not mean to be argumentative and look back on these posts and question myself "What was I thinking". With this part of the Definition of my Disorder, I want to show you simply, I was not thinking clearly.

This is a direct sentence taken from the Definition
Individuals often make poorly thought out decisions with little regard to the consequences.

The Diagnosis

One morning I was driving to work, the same way I had everyday prior and began to notice something weird in the way that I was feeling. My life at this point was going very good and I had no reason or stress in my life to cause any kind of sadness or doubt in myself. This morning was different, during my drive I had started feeling this overwhelming sadness, to the point that I was getting choked up and tears began running down my face. I began to get concerned with the fact that there was no reason for this Sadness, I could not understand why this was happening to me and when I pulled into the parking lot at my job, I sat outside and gathered myself. Feeling a little better I made my way into work and headed to the break room for coffee, like I did everyday. My manager was sitting at the table in the break room and now that I had my coffee I sat down with her to have or morning discussion. Before I could say anything, I broke down and started crying uncontrollably, alarmed my manager asked "if everything was ok" and tried to calm me down. I explained to her (while crying still) I had no idea what was going on and why I was feeling so sad. There was absolutely no reason for this and it made no sense what so ever. She told me that I needed to go see a Doctor to find out what was happening, so I left work and headed right to a psychiatrist to get answers. My Diagnosis was Bipolar Disorder or Bipolar 1, this is the severe case of mood swings and emotions.

Therapy and Medication

Like any other Doctor my psychiatrist prescribed me medication (Depakote) and set me up for a series of sessions to see her once or twice a month. She said that this was to monitor my Moods and to also give me a chance to open up with feeling I may have held inside or Bottled up over the years. These sessions honestly made me feel like I was Really Crazy, with every session starting with the same question "Do you feel like hurting yourself today", in which my answer was always No, but I guess it had to be asked. For years I took this medication and went to my sessions gradually feeling more and more in control of my Emotions. I soon figured that I did not need these sessions anymore nor did I need to take this medication. I was feeling so much better and believed it was all over. I weened myself off the Depakote and stopped going to my sessions. Up until lately I had forgotten all about this Disability and tried my hardest to live a normal life again. Recently I have sat back and read through my own posts on here and have noticed an Alarming trend. One minute I am Happy go lucky and am thanking everyone and the next I am complaining and feel the need to argue.

My apologies for bringing you on this Roller Coaster Ride with me

My intentions are good

Like anyone else suffering from Depression, I tend to over analyze things and my judgement is not always made in a clear state. I do mean what I say, but do not mean to say it in such a manner.

I hope this will explain a little about my Stupid Posts and will give you a better outlook on how to take what I said. This is something I would not wish on my worst enemies and pray for others who suffer from similar Disorders. If you suffer from being Bipolar, remember that you are not alone and that there is always someone there to talk to when you are at your worst (Helpline 1-800-273-TALK).

Thank you for Reading.