How I died in the Ganges to live - ENGLISH (this post was published yesterday in german)

I was at a funeral recently. A relative of my husband died, I personally did not know her. I don't know how others feel, but at funerals I am regularly reminded of my own mortality and that my loved ones also will die one day. Rather accidentally I became a silent witness of a very touching encounter between two older men in the cemetery. They didn't seem to have seen each other for a long time. They looked into each other's eyes without saying anything, because both were probably overwhelmed by their emotions. Nevertheless, so much happened between the two men that I got goosebumps and started to cry because I was so touched. I'll never forget that situation.

Why am I writing all this? Because our life is finite. I'm going to die one day. And so are you. It´s gonna be like that, and even if we wanted to, there's nothing we can do about it.

A few years ago I spent some time in an ashram in southern India. During a lecture we were told about a man who asked a guru what day it was today. He replied: "One day closer to death".

A little later I flew to Varanasi, the most holy place of the Hindus in India, directly at the river Ganges. Alone I was warned by many people, because this place probably should not be completely safe and shortly before that many people have died in a mass panic. But despite the fear I had unlied, I felt I had to go to this place. At that time I had no idea that my restless heart would settle down there and that I would spend one of the most beautiful days of my life there. I had planned my stay there only for 7 days and could not extend it. Many Hindus come to Varanasi to die and are buried directly at the Ganges in public or buried wrapped in cloths (fire burial). This may seem strange to us Westerners, as the dying takes place in public. Well, we don't know any other way.

I remember a scene in which I was sitting on a building with two Frenchwomen and a local person accompanied us. He told us that right around the corner, someone died. We all looked at each other, stopped for a moment and it was incredibly peaceful. An experience I couldn't have had in another place like this. A few days passed and suddenly I felt that I had lost my fear of death. His ubiquitous presence had made it a part of my life. However, I would be lying if I said that I kept this attitude.

My parents knew that I was going to take a bath in the Ganges and strongly advised against it. Justifiably, I heared of a tourist who has died while bathing in the Ganges. But I don't remember exactly or whether it was true. The sacred river of Hindus is heavily polluted by faecal bacteria and, of course, by cremation.
But I felt and knew that nothing would happen to me, so on my last day in the morning I plunged into the Ganges. It felt like my second baptism and part of my soul stayed there. I promised myself that I would return to this place once again in my life.

This is my declaration of love for life. And precisely because life is transient, we should love it. Looking back on my life today, I would do EVERYTHING again in the same way. I am infinitely grateful for everything that has happened to me. I had a great and exciting life.

Don't you feel that way?

So have I had a better life than you? No, I don't think so - I just think I'm taking a different perspective. I've made it a habit to see sense in everything. And believe me, I have not only had wonderful experiences in my life. Spontaneously I remember a former relationship, in which I suffered for a long time but neither came forward nor backward. In retrospect, however, it was a meaningful and valuable time in which I could resolve and work on a lot of personal issues. A short time later I should get to know the love of my life and establish a family with him. However, my son was born with severe neurodermatitis: His first year of life was the most difficult year of my life. I ran to doctors, non-medical practitioners and completed several weeks of rehabilitation to alleviate his suffering. Spent a fortune on this and could hardly sleep at night because of his scratching. Of course, he himself suffered the most and I me too. Today (almost) everything is no longer an issue and I am infinitely grateful that he is so much better. I look at him in his steel-blue eyes today and burst with pride when he tells me at the age of 2 that the Matchbox car in his hand is a Mustang and not an ordinary car.

How can you learn to love your life? Start where you can. It's never too late. No matter how old you are.

1. What are you thankful for?

Take your time to think about it and spend some time with this topic. I once read about a family that collected thankfulness-stones: They have collected a stone for everything they are grateful for. I have dealt intensively with this topic and have thought a lot about it or written down what I am grateful for. Gratitude is a wonderful feeling and it reminds us of all that we have. And that's a lot.

2. Try to see sense in difficult times

When a person is in crisis, it can be incredibly painful, exhausting and essential. From the outside, however, I think that this is where the most development can take place. However, one needs a certain ability to reflect, on the one hand, to understand what is happening and what is going on at the moment and on the other hand, certain patterns should not be repeated continuously. A suitable person from the outside can often be of good help. I've been looking for a lot of help and I've always learned a lot about myself and life. If you are in crisis and feel that you are not getting anywhere, you can find my coaching offer here http://www.loveyourwild.de/coaching/

3. Make peace with the past

That can also simply mean that you have to learn to forgive. In order to truly forgive, two things are needed: time and willingness. The rest comes naturally. It helps us to complete emotionally so it feels "round." I am infinitely grateful to my ex relationship. I know it wasn't for nothing, and I made peace with it. The latter ensures that this "circle" closes. Then we can let it go.

4. If you really want something, do it!

Sit down and listen to your heart. It doesn't matter how and where you do it. I have made a habit of listening to my feelings and heart and have never regretted it. This sometimes requires courage, patience and persistence. I needed courage to travel to Varanasi at this time. And as you read, it was one of my best choices.

I hope I still have many years to live, but if one day I die as an old woman, then with peace in my heart. While I'm dying, I won't be able to stop smiling when I think back on my life. Because it was just awesome.

Thanks for reading, merry christmas
Yasmin