That Time I Lost Sleep

I didn't want to go to church that day. My family attends the morning mass at St. Andrews which starts at 7am, I had just returned from school the day before with 12 hours worth of bus lag. I usually sleep on such long trips but this time I couldn't. I had failed two of my courses and did not know how to tell my parents. I did not get any sleep at night either, my parents are not rich but i attend a fancy private church school in Lagos. We got a 50% discount on fees thanks to a financial aid scheme i applied for, but 50% of the fees was still very hard to come by, a lot was being sacrificed for me.

"Emeka we're leaving" my mom announced from the living room. I wanted to protest and ask permission to stay but my parents would never allow, and it was my first Sunday back from the university, my parents thought a testimony was in order. I had been away for a while so everyone wanted to greet me as we arrived the church at 6:30. My parents always made sure we got to church early, socializing is a pre-service ritual here, and everyone knows everyone. I got asked a dozen times how school was and how my studies were coming, my reply to all was "fine". I noticed my friends but this was not the time to talk, the church is the playground of our parents, we would meet up later. Thirty minutes into the service five men marched into the church holding rifles. They halted the service and commanded everyone to get on their knees. They demanded to know the whereabouts of a certain Mr Gabriel Okoye. He had swindled them and it was time to get what was coming.

"Have you no respect for God?" Mrs James asked, she was shot almost immediately. Her bravery was well known, and it was the death of her. No one knew where Mr Okoye was and this did not satisfy the men who began to shoot into the kneeling congregation. The brave ran for their lives while the others took cover and prayed not to get hit. Fear crippled my legs and robbed me of my tongue. I neither prayed nor ran. I just waited for death as I peed my pants. It did not come. Some police vans arrived and hearing the sirens the men made a break for it.

Thirteen people died that day, but no one from my family. I felt a sense of renewal, I looked death in the eye and he did not want me. After many hours of running around we all finally returned home, everyone was silent.
"I failed two courses" I said out loud for the first time, breaking the long silence. "I do not want to be an engineer, I want to be an actor." I added.

Before that day I would never have had the courage to make the first statement, let alone the second. I would have been too scared of my parents and their disappointment , but that didn't seem to matter as much anymore.