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RE: My First Novel: "They Didn't See It Beneath Them" - All 12 Chapters (Original Story)

in #story8 years ago

Since I'm not able to leave any comments per chapter, might as well leave an all-encompassing review here. I rarely take the time to do a catch-up in one sitting, but I made an exception for your novel because I know you'd do the same. I hope I don't miss any points here, and I'll try my best to cover everything.


Whew! That was one hell of a ride! I didn't think I would be able to power through from start to finish in one sitting, but that I did. I don't want to get too technical with this review, so I'll just mention some criticisms in passing. While I enjoyed the GIFs very much, the formatting of some chapters needs to be addressed. Some paragraphs were one or two lines, while some were a huge block of text (even as big as a Megalodon). I don't really want to get into the other criticisms, so I'll just focus on the positives. If you want me to point these out, just let me know, brother. I'm alright with messaging you instead of publishing it here.

As a huge marine biology nut (in another life that would've been my profession) and a fishing enthusiast (you can strand me in the middle of the ocean and I would be the happiest guy on the planet), I really enjoyed the theme of the story. There's so much of the world's oceans that are unexplored, and I'm sure that these fantastic creatures are out there in the lower depths. To be perfectly honest, at first I really thought this is going to be tackling Cthulhu-level threats, but when I discovered it was about sharks, I was still on-board. I love a good monster/kaiju throwdown.

I didn't expect that the initial threat was that of a Dunkleosteus. I thought it was an interesting choice. I really appreciated the use of cyptids in this. You weren't shy about ramping up the action, as evidenced from the scenes of the final chapter. It was such a long journey from the initial one where the focus was merely on two people. I must say that it's quite refreshing.

Too often, stories of this kind of magnitude tend to pick characters that readers can relate to so that they can act as the viewpoint inside the story. You switched from view to view until we ended up with the Leviathan at then end. It was a bold move introducing a new character in the very last paragraphs. In retrospect, the switching viewpoints look like the foodchain, where bigger predators succeed their prey. Overall, nice job, brother! This is a complete 180 from what you usually put out :D

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Thanks so much for the great feedback bro. That's wonderful to hear that you were able to finish it also so quickly like @dreemit. That's a big compliment. It's my first novel, and I am sure I can definitely fix the paragraph formatting, but since everything is more than three months ago, there's no way to edit those posts other than the actual document I have.

Feel free to let me know the other criticisms you have either here or steemit.chat It's all preferential but doesn't mean I won't take it into consideration by any means. I am open to hearing feedback to improve my approach.

I'm glad you took time out to complete it, thank you very much again. I didn't want to take on too big of a legendary folklore story, so I stuck with what I knew. I especially enjoyed researching about the Leviathan and the food chain succession was indeed a aim I was going for :)

Glad you enjoyed the adventure for what's it worth. Do you think I should aim for a sequel? I would have no idea where to start, but that's usually how all of my creations begin, I just jump in and go and find my way lol

With regard to a sequel, maybe you can do the same approach that the Cloverfield series did. Tell a story from a completely different perspective with a completely different approach, then connect them. They plan on a trilogy, so I think the third one would deal with the origins of the creatures.

That's very interesting input and a cool suggestion. If I decide on a follow up story, I'll definitely let you know and consider my options and your feedback. Appreciate your insight bro

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