My Most Embarrassing Situation While in Thailand

in #story7 years ago

I have an embarrassing story, that is "now" funny to laugh at, that I want to share that will surely make anyone realize that your bad day isn't as bad as what I had to go through. Let me briefly preface that it might be gross to some, so I warned you :)

Have you ever had an emergency where you absolutely had no choice but to choose the decision that would likely get you in an embarrassing situation?

I'm in that boat and I will share my embarrassing story that will surely make you laugh (and/or grossed out depending on your level or lack thereof humor).

Eating Non-Spicy Thai Food

My story starts out in the outskirts of Krabi, Thailand, located well south of the bustling city of Bangkok. I was staying at a local family Airbnb in the center of Krabi town. I frequently went to the next door neighbor food stand to order Thai food.

Thai food in the U.S. is mostly different than the Thai food in Thailand. Especially with regards to the level of spiciness of the food. In Thailand, mild is still very hot. The spices and oils they use might not fit well with most stomachs that aren't use to the cuisine. 

So anytime I got food, I'd ordered it non-spicy. However, one of the days, my favorite food stand wasn't open, so I had to order food from another stand. My mistake was I forgot to ask for non-spicy food. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if I ate spicy food for one night. And while it was a bit spicy for my level, that night, my stomach took the food just fine and I didn't think much of it at all.

Off on Snorkel Trip Off-Shore Krabi, Thailand

The next morning, I booked myself a snorkel/island boat trip that would take me to several small islands just off the coast of Krabi (including Phi Phi islands). Again, the morning starts off just like any morning. 

I get to Ao Nang beach to catch the boats towards Railay and Tonsai beaches and everything goes just fine. As we leave to go to the next small island, I started feeling these bad bad cramps in my stomach. I didn't think much of it, hoping that the cramps would go away.

However, my cramps started progressively getting worse and worse. And I thought, oh shit, there's no toilets on the boat and once we got on to the small island for the snorkeling, there was no toilets on that small island.

My cramps got really excruciatingly bad ... but I had no place to relieve myself. There wasn't even any shrubs or bushes to squat behind and do my business. Plus, what made it worst was there was a ton of tourists on the small island that there was absolutely no privacy.

The Unimaginable "Act" that I Had to Do

With no toilets or natural bushes to hide behind, I looked out to the ocean.

Yes, you know what I'm thinking as I started to realize that the only way I was going to privately relieve myself was I had to swim out into the ocean.

And by all means, I did ... I swam as the furthest I could away from other snorkelers, and did my business.

Now here's where it gets funny.

Since I had never "pooped" into the ocean, I imagined that poop would just sink. Also since I didn't want to be swimming in my own excrements, I checked to see where the ocean current was flowing so that I'd swim gently against the current. 

Having determined the current flow, I swam against the current floating on my back, I took off my board shorts nervously while looking around to make sure no one was looking. And started "my business".

Unfortunately, I realized that poop floats. I started with an expression of half laughter and half grossness and quickly flipped over on my stomach, and floated while swimming slowly against the current doing "my business".

I did it til my stomach felt better. Afterwards, I took my board shorts and put them back on, swam back to shore carefully not swimming into "my grossness". 

When I got back on the boat, I had more stomach cramps, but luckily, then next island had an out house toilet that I could take care of "my business".

Today, I can totally just laugh about it. 

It will go down in one of my travel stories as, did I just really do that? Haha.

Did you ever have an accident or embarrassing situation like the one I had?


Don't be shy, comment below so we can share in the laughter together!

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lol I did oh couple of times once I was dead drunk sleeping to wake up at midday on my stomach with my pants full of half dry shit thanks god the smell was mixed with the 76% alchoholbeverage I almost suffocated from lol the other was after a night out going home in my friend's car...I had to stop the car ...the pain of pressure was literally exploding in my stomach like thunders ...I got of the car and there was a tram line between the roads with trees but clearly you could see..lol..I ducked as quick as I could between the beam rails of the tram and fired claymore bombs...cleaned with a stone and some grass till my friend came to lend me some tissues..lol

i feeeel you!! lol

Yea the worst part is that "pain of pressure exploding in stomach like thunder". Haha, exactly what you described is what I felt. I'm glad you were able to "do your business" and relieve the pain.

Hey, who hasn't taken a sea dump? Also known as ocean floaters. :)
If every animal in the ocean can do it. Why not you.

Haha, like the term "ocean floaters". True, when I snorkel a lot near where I live on Big Island, the fish all obviously leave jets of poop floating behind them haha.

Ahh the good old 'aqua turd' as we call them in Australia. Definitely a surfers favourite manoeuvre! Makes for a great story though!

Haha, good one ... I always enjoy learning new Australian English phrases and terms.

Thailand! This is one place i want to explore next. Always have my eyes on any place that promises great beaches. Koh Pha Ngan and the surrounding islands is the area i plan to visit after Bangkok. Also, eager to join the Full Moon Party with someone that I'm comfortable with. Cheers :D
P. S: I'll have to avoid the water after reading what you did there lol.

Don't forget to check out Ao Nang/Railay Beach as well as Koh Lanta :)

I sure will. Are these one of the less touristy places? Because i'd really like to visit a beach where there aren't many people around. I'll have quite a lot of that at Koh Pha Ngan / Haadrin i guess..

I've found Thailand in general is touristy, but just comparing within the country, yes, Railay/Tonsai Beaches and Koh Lanta is generally less touristy than say Pattaya or Phuket (which these two are way too touristy haha).

Brilliant! Will keep this in mind. Yeah, Phuket, is where literally everyone wants to go to. I've learnt to just touch the main touristy places in a visit, and take some time to find and look for some of the hidden treasures that most people don't know about. Cheers. Following you mate :)

Great man ... yea, do day visit to Phuket/Bangkok, and then it'll make you appreciate staying in nicer places like Railay/Tonsai and Koh Lanta. If you are going to be in that region, I hear Cambodia and Myanmar are great places to visit as well. I didn't get a chance to go to those regions, but my friends that have been love it!

One of my best buddies recently visited Cambodia and was telling me how historically significant it is, especially from an architectural perspective. The place has loads of ancient tombs, statues, and caves. If you've seen the movies/played the game - Tomb Raider, the tombs in it are actually based on the tombs in Cambodia.

Imagine the reaction of someone who saw that floating around after you left.

I was hoping that the current was taking it in the direction away from snorkelers, hence swimming as far as I could. Also, was hoping that the "turd" sank haha.

There must be good diving in your country. good photos my friend


Debe haber un buen buceo en su país. buenas fotos mi amigo

I enjoyed reading this. I will be looking forward to reading more from you!

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