A Short Story: The Waterloo 3 by Frank Sonderborg

I wrote this many years ago as we all prepared for the end of the world in 2012.
It’s the conversations between 2 men and a woman on a train concerning the end of the world as we thought we knew it.
It was written as a short 10 minute play. And someday I may get to have it performed live on a stage. We live for the Dream as they say: Enjoy


Images Courtsey of Pixabay

The Waterloo 3 by Frank Sonderborg

Characters
_____________________________
Mr Doom
Mr Sceptic
Ms Glasses

Setting: A delayed passenger train to Waterloo Train Station London UK.

Mr Doom: [looking out the window] Vauxhall, bloody Vauxhall. Why do we always get stuck at Vauxhall. And we get the canned apology. Bla bla bla. I don’t care just get us moving.
Mr Sceptic: Look it happens. As Rumsfeld once said, “Shit happens,” and it’s not every day. Just deal with it.
Mr Doom: Well it won't be for long.
Mr Sceptic: Exactly, now you are talking.
Mr Doom: No I mean we all don’t have long to go. You know 21st of December and all that.
Mr Sceptic: What! 21st December! That’s months away. Your Xmas party?
Mr Doom: More like the end of the world party. The Mayans have predicted we are all stuffed come the 21st of December 2012. End of the long count.
Mr Sceptic: That's a load of bollox. Long count, short count. It is not going to happen.
Mr Doom: It is going down. The Interwebs are ablaze with the twittering’s of doom. If you've not got your Willie Wonka Golden pass to some deep shelter built by the Government, you will be toast.
Mr Sceptic: Wait a minute. You're saying we are all going to die. But the chosen few.
Mr Doom: All going to fry more likely, as the Sun starts throwing a wobbler.
Mr Sceptic: You’re saying the Mayans scribbled all this on some toilet wall in the jungles of South America.
Mr Doom: No Mr Smart ass. The Mayans where astronomical geniuses and they knew, on that exact date, the Earth was going to plunge into the Galactic plane and the Sun was going to get a cold.
Which would result in some serious down time for the human race.
Mr Sceptic: So you're saying there will be survivors, in caves or Government shelters.
Mr Doom: Indeed there will be. But not us it seems.
Mr Sceptic: Why not and how do you get a Willie Wonka ticket? Do you know anybody with one?
Mr Doom: No, of course not, it's all hush hush and top secret. Even the US President is being kept it the dark about this.
Mr Sceptic: Yea, sounds about right. Two Brits stuck on a train outside Waterloo station know about it. But Mr El Presidento, the man with his finger on the Nuke button, knows shit all.
Mr Doom: Well maybe he does know, something. But he's way down the clearance list for the need to know secret stuff.
Mr Sceptic: And you, are on this list, but higher up than El Presidento.
Mr Doom: Interwebs baby, the truth is all out there. You just need to know where to look. WikiLeaks, for God sake, do you never just wonder what is going on.
Mr Doom: No.
Mr Sceptic: What’s Lady Gaga doing? (Nodding at Ms Glasses)
[Ms Glasses is making flipping movements with her hands in mid-air]
Mr Sceptic: She’s watching a movie.
Mr Doom: Where?
Mr Sceptic: Right in front of you. She’s a Google 3D Beta Tester. Personalised 40” Screen. Its, [moves his head very close to Ms G] an action movie. I think.
Mr Doom: Called?
Ms Glasses: Nazi Zombies versus Alien Vampires.(Answering the Question)
Mr Doom: Nazis and Vampires. Staple diet of all Hollywood movies.
Mr Sceptic: No, again, that is not true. They make other movies about other, things.
Mr Doom: Listen the US took in over 10,000 Nazis after the war. Operation Paper Clip. They flipping run NASA and their secret space program. And they’re building the secret shelters to save themselves from getting fried.
Mr Sceptic: So it’s back to the Nazis again. What’s the word on the Vampires, Nazi Vampires perhaps?
Mr Doom: Who’s to say what they got up to with their crazy experiments? Werner von Braun, the King of NASA. He was a Nazi.
Mr Sceptic: They were all Nazis, back in the day. Just like they were all Commies in Russia and all Baathists in Iraq.
Mr Doom: Wernher von Braun was a Major in the Nazi SS which was a bit more than having a coal miners’ union card.
Mr Sceptic: Nazi Smatzi, so what, he helped put a man on the moon.
Mr Doom: Yea, like he helped Stanley Kubrick fake the Moon landing shots.
Mr Sceptic: What! Stanley Kubrick one of the most famous directors the UK has ever produced. He faked the moon-landings! Bollox to that me boyo.
Mr Doom: I said, faked the Moon-landings shots, moron. The Moon-landing movie.Which was lost for a while, until it was discovered in a cardboard box in Australia. Nixon needed good quality pictures for the “American People” He was told it was a no go from NASA. Spending billions of spon-dulux belonging to the American Cash Cow and what, all he gets back is a shitty T-shirt and some crappy pictures from the moon. No Way-Jose was this going to happen.
Mr Sceptic: So, Nixon gets on the phone to Stan the man?
Mr Doom: No Werner and the rest of the Third Reich Hole in the Wall Gang, saw what he had done with “Dr Strangelove” and Bingo they knew they had their man.
Mr Sceptic: So Von Braun gets on the phone to Stan?
Mr Doom: No, Kissinger Mr US of A Numbero Uno German gets on the phone, to our man Stan.
Mr Sceptic: And just like that, Stan says yes. I'll do it.
Mr Doom: No, they make him an offer he cannot refuse. Like, for example he can have access to all the toys in the NASA toy store.
Mr Sceptic: That is the biggest load of bollox, I’ve ever heard! Are you saying that all the Moon-landing shots are fake? Filmed in Colorado somewhere?
Mr Doom: No, filmed on a Movie set in London. The Movie set for ,“2001 a Space Odyssey,” to be exact.
Mr Sceptic: Shit, Drivel, and humbug as Scrooge would say.
Mr Doom: Stan repented afterwards you know. He knew he had sold his soul to, “The Company Store.”
Mr Sceptic: So what did he do? Write it all down in a diary?
Mr Doom: No, he went one better. He put it all down in a movie.
Mr Sceptic: Are you telling me he made a movie about faking the Moon-landing and it’s out there, somewhere. Hidden in somebodies drawer?
Mr Doom: No, he made a movie that millions saw but nobody knew at the time it was a confession about faking the moon-landing.
Mr Sceptic: So what's the movie?
Ms Glasses: It’s called “The Shinning," a great horror movie. (Answering the question while taking of her 3D Beta Glasses)
Mr Sceptic: [Turning] What! You know about this, to?
Ms Glasses: Sure, it's common knowledge on the Interwebs.
Mr Doom: Yea wake up and smell the spider’s baby.
Ms Glasses: Stan the man made “Barry Lyndon,” with a camera he got from NASA for his work on, “The Moon Project,” "Barry Lyndon," was filmed entirely with natural light. Thanks to that very special NASA camera.
Mr Sceptic: Christ, I am sandwiched between two conspiracy freaks.
Mr Doom: Look, in “The Shinning," Jack Nicholson is driving up to the hotel in a Yellow Beetle. He passes a Red Beetle that has been crushed by a truck. The Red beetle, not a Yellow Beetle is in the original Stephen King story.
Mr Sceptic: And the point is?
Ms Glasses: Its Stan’s way of saying the story you are about to see is not about the King version. Everything, everything in a Kubrick movie is there for a purpose.
Mr Doom: Yea, right through that movie Stan paints out clues to what he'd done.
Mr Sceptic: Such as? I’ve seen the movie, you know.
Ms Glasses: The Ancient Indian Carpets hanging on the hotel wall. The Pattern is Rockets!
Mr Doom: Yea bloody rockets. The Kid is playing with a rocket on the floor. His Jumper has a rocket on it. The floor carpet pattern is a launch pad. The 2 ghost twins which were not in the King original.
Ms Glasses: A reference to the Gemini program which came before the Apollo program.
Mr Doom: And, the pages typed by, “Crazy Jack the writer Nicholson.”
Mr Sceptic: Yes I remember that. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
Mr Doom: A11 was the Apollo Moon shot number. "A11 work and no play makes Stan a dull boy. His confession to the world. That movie is full of stuff about his work for NASA.
Mr Sceptic: Bollox!
Ms Glasses: Go look again.
Mr Doom: He was terrified of something happening to him, he never left England. All his movies where done in England.
Mr Sceptic: So what happen your Nazi Vampire movie? [looking at Ms Glasses.]
Ms Glasses: This Vauxhall delay is much more interesting.
Mr Sceptic: So you buy into this End of the world Mayan crap.
Ms Glasses: Well I am off to the Rockies in November. I have some friends in the US Military
Mr Doom: What! You have an actual get out of jail Willy Wonka Golden Ticket!
Ms Glasses: It’s called a skiing holiday in the Rockies..
Mr Sceptic: Skiing? With a US Military friend in November, which if my months are correct is just before December?
Mr Doom: I just don’t believe it. I know someone with a Golden Ticket.
Mr Sceptic: So don’t tell me, he has invited you to see his, “Underground Pad.”
Ms Glasses: As a matter a fact yes. I will be taking a look at where he is based in the Rockies. It does go with the getting married bit.
Mr Sceptic: So you have to get married to get a ticket. Shit!
Mr Doom: Rules both of us out then.
Mr Sceptic: So about this end of the world party. You can count me in.
Mr Doom: Were here at last. London Waterloo, where destinies collide.
Ms Glasses: Thanks for the entertainment.
Mr Sceptic: See you all tomorrow. What's on the conspiracy menu? More Nazi Smatzi!
Mr Doom: No, how about, "The Georgia Guidestones."
Mr Sceptic: The Rolling Georgia Guide Stones? WTF are they?
Ms Glasses: Seriously, you’ve never heard about mysterious, "Georgia Guidestones."
Mr Doom: Well where do I start....

image courtsey of @reneenouveau