THE DATE

It's new year eve. There is a party at Agodi garden and many charming guys will be present, you heard. You rummaged eagerly through your wardrobe, looking for a dress in order to dress to kill.

You finally dressed up and you were loving your look.

"what are you wearing like a church dress? " peju, dressed in a tight-fitting, cleavage-baring gown asked, her eyebrows raised.

"And you are the one looking for boyfriend o! " Sola mocked .
You decided to ignore them; they would not succeed in making you feel bad about yourself and you wouldn't wear any of their see-through, chest-baring, backless dresses.

You got to the party and met the dance floor on fire, you joined the fun and danced your legs tired. The three of you then decided to take a break. You sat with your drinks, relaxing and watching people dance.

Then, there was a guy, one with an athletic build and beards which shone under the sun. You caught feelings immediately.

He was walking towards your direction, you closed your eyesand said a prayer , a prayer of desperacy that he comes to you.

You opened your eyes and found him right beside you; his presence brought with it, a large knot at the side of your tummy.

"hi" he said with a smile
"hello" you replied him, your own voice, a surprise to you: it was extremely soft and low, a voice your friends would call a 'bedroom voice'.

You also found yourself smiling sheepishly, like a zombie.
"can I have your number?
He had barely finished his sentence before your numbers started trudging out of your mouth.

Like a thief, his call came in the midnight. He apologized for calling you at an ungodly hour. "every hour you call me is godly" you thought to yourself. He asked to meet you the next day.

You met him the next day and the first thing you did was hand him the card you had gotten him, "I LOVE YOU " boldly written on the cover. This time, you would not act demure like you have always done. You would be open with your feelings or give him the "green light like your friends would say.

Then he dropped the bomb.
"oh! I am sorry, I think there's a misunderstanding here. It's not you I am chasing, it's your friend. The one in the yellow gown yesterday. I was trying to talk to her yesterday but she wouldn't listen, so I decided to ask for your help.

Eeeh? This is the devil at work, the devil your mom always prayed against. The one she goes to the church to rain down Holy Ghost fire on.

Anyways sister, at this point, I shall render you some pieces of advice called:

COMMANDMENTS OF THE FORWARD GIRLS AND THE "LED-ONS"

1. THOU SHALL SWITCH TO THE CHURCH GIRL MODE:
   thou shall look into his eyes and give him the warmest smile ever even if thou is cold from shock.
   Then thou shall say: what type of love did you think I was thinking about when I gave the card to you? It's agape love, the one our Lord Jesus taught us. Ever since I knew you are a Christian, I have loved you like a sister loves a brother in spirit.

2. All through the date, thou shall not act pained even if the pain that had gripped thou is like that of a woman in labour.

1. Thou shall speak well of Peju so that though shows no traces of jealousy.
   Thou shall tell him she wishes a future for them together even if thou wishes that their future should be like that between heaven and earth

2. Thou shall never give him Peju's number.

When thou get back from "the date":

1. Thou shall not deliver his message to Peju, Thou shall not stroke her already over-bloated ego.

2. Thou shall tell tales to thy friends, tales of a beautiful future you guys talked about on your "date". Tales that only exist in your head.

E. Then, thou shall go into thy room and lock thyself in thy room. Then thou shall shed oceans of tears. THOU SHALL MOURN THE LOSS OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

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