The husband pays attention to the laptop, not me
My name is Victoria, I'm 20 years old, my husband Artem, he's 27. A year ago we decided to live together and faced the problem of different characters, different upbringings. Of course, all people are different and I think that at the beginning of family life most people face the problem of so-called lapping, but we, it seems to me, this period was delayed. In addition to the fact that we often quarrel because of the nonsense, we are very at home.
I have tried many times to hint and in the subsequent straight to say that we need to somehow pay each other's attention to make surprises, somehow show their love. After all, before we began to live together, he was very romantic, and after the beginning of a joint life, everything disappeared somewhere.
That you understand: every day, coming from work, my favorite, instead of paying attention to me, is paid to his laptop. And continuously, and this despite the fact that at work he sits all day in front of the computer. And after 4-5 hours spent on the laptop, he safely goes to bed, previously hinting at sex. And that's all. This is a typical scenario of our communication and time. I imagined a family life a little differently.
All our conversations are at an impasse. He is an online psychologist, but at the same time he simply does not understand why I'm so angry. Maybe I really am not right and in fact the family is a dull monotony that you need to get used to? I'm just an active, cheerful person and I can not calmly watch my husband ruining his life to sit at the computer. Maybe he's just not ready for the family yet?
I really need advice, because I do not want to make the wrong decision, and then regret it. We love each other, but it's very hard for us, especially me. Prompt, advise how to be?
I am sure you would have already tried talking about it to him, but is there something that you see a red flag in terms of his attention being shared or even thrown at some other person? If you 're confident that there is no other "person" involved in this, I think this could be sorted out.
I understand your feelings because, men after a certain age, start looking at earning money as something very important. This doesn't become an excuse per se, to spend more time with the laptop, but yeah, with the Crypto thing kicking in like crazy, I see many wives here (including mine at times) complain about this.
What I try to do is, I try to keep aside sometime set for my family (I have a beautiful baby girl that I love too) and once they are asleep, I tend to burn the midnight oil. Or there are times, when my wife and I, try to get a common ground and find something that interests both of us. Thankfully for me, my wife has slowly started showing interest in crypto.
So, why don't you guys try to find something common that both you guys can spend sometime together doing?
Just my two cents.