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RE: [Zuton] : Ice pops (2)

in #story7 years ago

ahhhhh. ok i DO see now. hehehee

hmmm ok how should i suggest... i think i'll make the ice cream man more sinister ;)

As she skips along, without a care in the world, the dying whine of the broken speakers on the ice cream truck bores tiny pinholes into her eardrums...

... looks to the guy waiting to serve her. He is sweating profusely, and scratches at the salty drops of perspiration beading on his forehead. His dirty nails leave streaks of muck as the grime mixes with his sweat. There's a sinister vibe to him, and he is bouncing around the truck as if he were a pinball in a machine. The hangover from last night still clings to his addled brain as he leans forward to take the girl's order.

...The man rolls his eyes and spits onto the floor of the ice cream truck with disgust, irritated for the service of such a well-mannered person.

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Wow, that is a total game changer! This is the kind of response I was looking for tbh, shifting dynamics and creating the universe!

I'll edit it in before I make the next one, also the last one wasn't edited yet. I think it's staying the way it is :)

hahahahaha yeah... you know how i feel about controlling the universe ;) Writers hold all the power of the entire universe in the tips of their fingers...

hmmmm i like what i just said - i'll have to use that in a post hehehe

Very well said! Definitely, need to get that wrote down for future use :D

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