Time

It is the most precious thing we could ever have. Time with our parents, brothers, sisters, friends and to all the people that surrounds with us. Once we have use our precious time we could no longer take it back. Each decisions and choices we have make will matter in our whole life, even if it is the right thing to do or not.

But what if we have the capability to turn back time?

What if we can take back our decisions? Our choices?

What if we have a time machine that will lead us to where we want and correct the mistakes we have done?

When will it be? And what decision we are going to alter?

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So here is a time machine. This will lead you to the place and time I want to go and alter my decisions . . .

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Year 2***, month of June in a humble public school located at Laguna. Finally I was on my third year in high school, a couple of years will finally make me an engineer in the field of Computer Technology. Yes my dream is to become a Computer Engineer in the near future and I was really excited to this.
In public schools we have this some kind of rankings, Intelligent kids will surely go to section number one, then next to them will be on section number two, then next is sections three, four, five and so on depending on the population of the students that have enrolled in the year. Every year rankings was being updated, meaning if you somehow excel in your classroom then you will be on section one the next school year and if you somehow mess with your grades there’s a possibility that you will be on the lower section. And luckily I was one of those kids who messed up in the previous year 😑, from section one here I am to section two.
It’s not that bad because way back when I was on my first year I was on the third section ha ha ha. Yeah, I can’t maintain where I am to :D, so here is the catch I manage to know some of my classmates.

So what choices do I want to change or alter?

Is it becoming a good student? Studying hard? The answer is a big NO !

This is not about how I sucks in my previous year but this is all about the girl who make me realize that every decision will be a big factor in your future

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So going back, year 2***, month of June, I’m on my third year in my high school education and there’s this girl named Rosella. She was a girl(definitely) that is not that tall, not that white nor black, has this squinty eyes, pointed nose and very white teeth.

Her attitude? Hmmm I see her a moody one, well, I see her fighting with one of my classmate when I first enter the room. I think it’s what you call first impression lasts. So I see her making some fight with one of my classmate, it’s like she is saying that “hey, look I’m the boss” to all of us in the room. I just sit at the back of the room, make my halumbaba (this is when you put your chin to your knuckles, see image below) and just stare to the both of them. They seems to be having a debate about something that I don’t really remember because I was focused on looking with this girl. I see her as a very strong and independent woman that can beat all the hell out of us. There are some times that she glares at me, but I don’t really bother knowing why. I think it’s because I was new to her eyes because this is the first time that I also see her, despite being in the same school for two whole years.

Days have passed quickly in my third year in high school and the traditional acquaintance party have come. This is a party where we can go dance and meet our new classmates and I somehow always attend. Nothing particularly happen in the night, I just hang with my old friends eat in the canteen. I don’t really attend the party to make some dancing, it’s because we are obliged to attend. The party ends at exactly 10 in the evening. It’s already 9:45, finally 15 minutes to go and we are free to go home until one of my classmate (Lexi) approach me and ask me if I can dance her friend.

They say it’s bad luck to refuse offers to a dance so I agree. We went to the dance floor and there I see this moody girl, Rosella. We have a dance, I feel awkward when I hold her waist coz I was shocked to whom I was with. I didn’t have the chance to talk to her when we are in the classroom, as in not at all, even a single chat didn’t happen.

I can’t see the girl whom I first saw in my first day being a third year student. I can’t see the girl whom make a debate in one of my classmate. I can’t see the moody girl whom I thought didn’t smile. Right at this very moment I see a lady, a very beautiful lady with this smiling eyes. Her eyes smile, Yes I can’t possibly forget that smile not only in her face but also in her eyes. I can’t look in her because I got shy, but I can’t forget that single stare I have made in her face.

After the song, the party was over. I still can’t believe that I see Rosella in a different way that very moment. I was getting ready to go home, just fixing some stuffs when Lexi and Rosella approach me again. Rosella thanks me for the dance and suddenly hugged me and ran away. I got froze at the moment and just look at her running and waving at me.

Then back to normal school days, but I can say something really do change. Some friends of Rosella somehow making friends also with me, I don’t know if it’s because of Rosella or it’s just that they really want to be friends with me. There are also times that I see Rosella glaring at me, well I don’t know if it’s only me but I somehow feel or perceive when someone is looking at me.
Yeah I want to make some friends, but I don’t really want to have the full attention of the class, it annoys me. It’s because there are some gossips that Rosella likes me, which seems to be true because she gave me some letters proving that the gossips are true. She is saying that she likes and love me. Well I don’t really see problems with that but I don’t want to have the attention of my whole class, so I decided to push her away. I decided to say that I’m not yet ready and I’m still studying and I don’t want yet to go in a relationship I’m not sure about. I keep on pushing her away for five whole months, pushing her away that I make her sad, pushing her away that I make her cry, and pushing her away that I make her got angry with me.

Month of November, the same year. I need to go in our province in Mindoro for the birthday of my grandfather, this is where I see my decision’s result. When I was still in the province I feel lonely, I missed Rosella. I missed how she always make things inside the classroom for me to notice her. I missed the way she glares at me even when she is in front of the room and I was on the back. I missed how she smiles when she sees me looking at her. So I decided to stop pushing her away, I think I’ll make my own way to know her better. I’m excited to go home. A week later and I got back to school, but there’s a big change in the surroundings. My classmates stops teasing me to Rosella, she also stopped staring at me, she stopped making me notice her. Rosella no longer likes me, she is now always on my friend Kenneth. Seems like I finally pushed her away 😖 😖

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If I will be given a chance to go back to that time I will definitely beat the hell out of me. I will definitely make myself realize how I should treat the girl. I definitely will not push her away instead I will hugged her tight and say how much she really means to me

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TO BE CONTINUED . . .

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