He who walks these streets (Short Story)

in #story7 years ago (edited)

night-2291750_1280.jpg

The air sits heavy with fog, swirling through momentary street lights, before drifting into the dark. The towering trees disappear into the night, the branches swathed in rich thick fog.

A soft glimmer betrays the hiding moon, but a gentle grey glow in the ascending blackness. He shuffled along the pavement, the moist air clinging to his woolen scarf pulled close around his face. His pushed his mittened hands deeper into his coat pocket, the cold still biting his bare cheeks and nose. His knitted hat pulled over his ears, meeting his scarf tucked into his collar.

Headlights glowed in the gloom, looming into blinding flashes that emerged from the fog and streaked by. The dark shop windows lacking their lustrous luminous seemed like an echo of another world.

There was a killer stalking these dim streets, and it was only a matter of time until that killer was caught, he knew it.

He had been out on these streets every night for a week now. The bodies were starting to pile up, and if someone didn't stop this killer, it would only get worse. The police had deployed every officer they could, walking the beat night after night. He was so tired. So far it hadn't made any difference, the killer struck every night.

He wondered, as he breathed deep of heavy cool air, if they would ever catch this killer. The fog drifted in denser than it had in years, he could barely see a few feet through it. Anyone could be out there, and he wouldn't see them until he was upon them. Just like they wouldn't see him.

He shuffled on, the moon fading and flickering back as the fog shifted through the air.







This is a short story inspired by @miniature-tiger - it grew from a 50 word short story I attempted for the weekend challenge.

This is the original fifty word story that I wrote:
"Rain drummed hard on the pavement, a soft haze in street lit gloom. He moved silently, unseen. A killer stalked these streets, striking at night. This was his third night on the beat, it could happen any moment now. The dwindling chance to stop him lingered in the city mist."

I really enjoyed the concept of writing this, and trying not to say either way if this was the man trying to catch the killer, or the killer himself.

This was equally inspired by the Junji Ito Collection, the story Lovesick Dead. Here people wander the streets asking those they encounter at a crossroad to tell their fortune, I liked how the person asking didn't really know if they were just asking another person who happened to be walking that way, or if they were asking the crossroad demon, but either way, took the answer as fated.

So (and a huge thank you if you have made it this far and are still reading) do you think this is about the killer, or the man trying to catch him, or neither, if so, who do you think the "he" in this story is?

Edit - oh my nearly forgot [photo credit - https://pixabay.com/en/night-hong-kong-light-foggy-2291750/]

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Well written! :) I like your choice of words and phrases. To answer your question, I personally think that this could be going on in the killer's mindset accepting his defeat / fate. However I liked this short story and as well your 50W-only Challenge. :)

Thank you :) !! Gotta admit, i was definitely thinking more of the killer, or possibly someone who knows the killer personally, I feel like the 50w version was more open, and the more it grew, the more it tipped one way over the other. I wasn't actually thinking defeat, but reading it back, that it what I see, when I was writing that bit, I was more thinking about how a killer on the street would inconvenience other people up to no good, but in the story that came out, I think you are actually right, and it is more him accepting defeat, or even hoping for defeat. Awww i love it when other people understand my stories better than I did lol!

Yeah, I suspected the man was the killer immediately. His dark view of the environment around him betrays a very dark mind. Nice writing... @miniature-tiger's fiftywords challenge definitely makes one creative, don't you think?

Thank you! Lol - this is very standard for my descriptions, for me there is a beauty in the dark that often goes unseen. Especially in the fog. I was definitely thinking more of the killer with the full short story, I tried to be as vague as I could, but when I actually wrote it, it tipped it to be more killer than cop. The 50w version was more either way but as soon as I let it grow a bit, it began to take more form.

Yeah I LOVE the fifty word challenge now, I started out so uncertain, but now it is one I am constantly looking for the next one with, they are just so inspirational, without the challenge, I never would have thought how trying to frame a story within 50 words forces you to fully form a story or idea in your head. I normally just start writing and then however long later, have a story or poem, where as this is training me to think a lot more about it.

As always, I enjoyed reading your story. It is so nice to see original work posted. Also, I wanted to say thank you for giving credits to the originators of the graphics. As an artist, I especially appreciate that. Blessings to you and keep writing.

Thank you very much! I often don't use photos because I can't track down the original artist to credit them so i am very glad someone appreciates it :)

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