Going back in time to kill Hitler

in #story7 years ago

CAPTAIN'S LOG: December 20th, 2017. I think. I don't really know. Today we're talking about one thing, and one thing only. Killing. Hitler. (via time travel)

Killing Hitler

Whenever I hear someone say that they'd go back in time to kill Hitler as a child, I think of one thing: how much of a coward they are.

If I went back in time to kill Hitler, I'd kill him as an adult. An adult of comparable age to me.

Not as a baby. Some defenseless blob that could easily be destroyed without trying. Prettymuch anyone COULD kill a baby, but that's a special kind of stupid. It's nothing to be proud of. If you're going to do something, do it right. Kill a baby? You're chicken-shit. Kill a grown tyrant? Well, now we're talking. Now we're talking.

As far as the terms:

I wouldn't bring any futuristic weapons with me. I'd just bring my clothes and my ass kicking gloves.

One way trip. So I have skin in the game.

Hand to hand combat. No surprise attacks. I phase into wherever Hitler is hanging out, and initiate combat once he's ready (which he will be, since I can just time travel to that moment, you idiot).

Anyway, thunderdome rules: 2 men enter, 1 man leaves.

If I win, maybe I save the world, or maybe someone else takes Hitler's place. Who knows.

If I lose, I die.

The only problem I have is this: I don't speak German, so from Hitler's POV, I'd be some random maniac appearing, swinging fists around and trying to fight him. I don't think it would get my point across all that well.

I think it's important for someone to understand you, if you're going through all the hoops needed to go back in time and fight them to the death in close quarters combat.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

Billy OUT.

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