Bad thoughts.
Everyone has random thoughts as they go about their day, sometimes those thoughts are bad ones, thoughts you shouldn't have. When I have those bad thoughts they are instantly supressed and I go about my day and they are forgotten.
Mostly...
Sometimes those bad thoughts are centred around a person, someone I see most days. Sometimes those bad thoughts just keep coming back each time I see them, yet I know they are wrong and not the sort of thoughts I should be having.
You see I am a good person, respectable even, yet sometimes a thought takes hold and begins to build up. It gains power and my ability to dismiss it causes a build up of pressure inside my head. Then it turns up in a dream, vivid and so real I wake up thinking it was real for a minute.
The fantasy is unleashed and in spite of myself I replay it in my mind as I go about my day, reliving and expanding it as I do. I know my thoughts are wrong, that I'm thinking of doing something bad but I dismiss it as just a daydream, something I wouldn't ever really do. My little fantasy is just that, a guilty little pleasure in my head as I go around doing the boring stuff of my life. In a couple of days it will be forgotten as something else replaces it, it's doing no harm.
But it didn't go away, it grew and it became all I dreamed about, it took on a life of its own smothering out all other things in my mind. For months my fantasy has lingered and grown, I just need to close my eyes and I can see it in every detail. It made plans for how I could do it and I found myself testing these plans to see if they would work. The fantasy was compelling me down a dark road, one I knew was wrong but I couldn't stop myself. I told myself I was just refining my fantasy to make it more real, I would never go through with it.
I just wanted to make it more real in my head. I just wanted to make my fantasy perfect, yet how could I if I didn't go through with all of it?
I didn't class the person I'd built my fantasy about as real anymore, they became just part of my dream so I felt no guilt when I did finally live out my fantasy in the real world.
And then my fanasy was gone, I wasn't sad because it wasn't the first time. Soon another wrong thought would take hold and I'd build myself a whole new fantasy around someone else. You see I'm not a bad person, I just sometimes have bad thoughts.
Thanks for reading, woke up today with this story in my head so wrote it here before it faded...
or took hold.
The never ending battle between good and evil. This very topic is what great novels were made from.
I think if I ever do sit down to write a serious story I'd have to come at it from this sort of angle of what makes a person a monster and how they think.
That image really tricks the eye... it appears as though it is moving.
I was playing around with a selfie for a cover for a story I never finished. Think I used a fractal effect on it and loved the result.
Yeah it turned out awesome.
Ahhhhh, so now I have some validation for some very bad thoughts I have about certain people ... and I am also a very good person. With some bad fantasies. Good to know I'm not alone in that. LOL.
Now that sounds like some things you should share ;)
Good ... an interesting idea and discussed thoroughly
Thank you.
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