Heaven is a clickbait media company
You died.
And you made it!
You got to heaven.
How did you die? It doesn't matter.
You made it. It's all good now.
So, let me give you the rundown. You're only human after all. Let me tell it to you in terms you can understand, though I think it's kind of dumb.
It may be a little overwhelming at first, but that's how it is in heaven. Forget everything you know or believe when you were on Earth.
See that black guy over there? He was in a gang. He killed and raped many innocent young ladies. He's on his way to meet the very first, under-aged girl he ended. You won't believe what happens next.
You want to know what happens next? Don't worry. You'd have all eternity.
Let's keep going.
Here's a bunch of normal, mundane everyday things in your life you see everyday, but watch how those scientists use it as the cure for the cancer which killed you.
Now you get to meet a bunch of celebrities. How normal they really are will blow your mind.
You HATE these wrongdoers of yours, but be prepared to see how guilty and ashamed they actually have been.
You thought you were doing good by giving so much to the homeless, but this is what your money actually went to.
When you realize how much happier the disabled, the poor and the starving are compared to you, your jaw will drop.
That 125 year-old standing over there can share with you the secret to long life, and also why it was a waste of time.
Think the government you were under was normal? You won't believe what's inside...
Here are the 46 times you came close to death. How it happened will give you goosebumps.
You thought you didn't do anything wrong at that time, but the consequences will blow your mind.
War may have seemed senseless to you, but the benefits of it all? Actually genius.
And now, you actually get to meet me, God. Be prepared to have your understanding of literally everything gone forever.
You won't believe how EASY it is to be happy today. The secrets in my free book will make you balls fly off. Download it here: 12 Things Happy People Don't Give a Fuck About!