Story-Mentor: Step forward
This story is written in response to a task for the group story-mentor. You can see the task in this message.
Victor stood at the edge of the rock. His gaze was pointing down. The body trembled violently - it was a manifestation of fear of heights. The wind blew Victor in the back. At these moments, fear became even stronger. Only one step separated Victor from an unchangeable death.
Victor did not understand what brought him here. He did not understand how he ended up here. This place seemed very familiar. The noise of the surf caused a feeling of disgust. He felt helpless. This is an unusual feeling for him. He sensed how an invisible force is pushing him to take a step forward ...
Victor tried to remember how long he was at the edge. He wondered how long he was alone. Thoughts are constantly confused. They were unnatural as all the space surrounding Victor. The whole situation was like a dream. A dream like a prison. Sleep in captivity was Victor.
Fear continued to bind his body. It is through fear that Victor is in the same place. He did not want to go back, but at the same time he was afraid to take a step forward. The feeling of unreality increased. But at the same time fear went away. This happened gradually. At one point Victor felt a complete lack of fear. Together he turned his head to the sides and realized that he was standing in complete darkness. The wind no longer hit him in the back. The body trembled trembling. There was no fear. There was nothing more that prevented this step forward.
Victor took a deep breath and stepped forward. At that moment, he felt a feeling of weightlessness. It seemed to him that time had stopped, but no .... a second later he felt a blow ....
Opening his eyes Victor saw himself in a hospital bed. To his body were attached wires and pipes. It was a life support device. No, he did not break, he left the coma! A year ago he fell into a coma and became a prisoner of his mind. Death in a world of dreams - brought him back to life.
If this were a contest, I'd declare you the winner! The story of a man that has to commit suicide to reclaim his life! Excellent storyline my friend! Absolutely the best!
CARRY ON!
It's the cliffs! Everyone thinks of jumping! I guarantee @michelle.gent knew this when she assigned it too! HaHa!
I'm very glad that you appreciated my story :) It was an improvisation when I started writing it, I did not think that I would finish it that way.
@michelle.gent always creates an excellent basis for creating the story :)
Oh. Quite the twist in the tale. Nice! Something like the movie inception?
Thank you! Maybe it's similar, but the idea is a bit different. The film is very good by the way!
An interesting twist to the story. I was not expecting that he had been in a coma. I enjoyed the story.
Thank you! I'm glad that you liked this story :)
I did not expect this. So sorry he is in a coma.
I enjoyed reading your post. :)
Thank you, if you liked it, then I achieved my goal :). I like to create unexpected turns in the story.
I like the twist!
Well done!
If you edit this piece, you should look at the use of past and present tense.
This sentence starts with past tense 'he sensed' and changes to present tense 'is pushing'.
Try to take a look at your writing and see if you can make your story one or the other (past or present).
If you need more guidance in that area, let me know, I'll be pleased to help.
I am glad for your visit and I am glad that you liked my story.
I have a problem with past and present time. That is, such errors occur when I write my text in Russian and then translate it into English. (I used to use an interpreter, but now in most cases I do it myself). Thanks to your past advice, I corrected many mistakes.
Therefore, I will accept any help. I appreciate it