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RE: Homecoming - 300 Word Short Story

in #story-300words7 years ago

Voted at 100% for the surprise happy ending.

I feel you need to proof read this story again as I still don’t follow some things even after reading it several times.

‘Place”. Do you mean her home or her job?

“Patio”. If she was on the patio, she is already home, so why walk home?

There are some other problems with her location at various points in the story. It’s unclear whether she is home, and inside or outside. The words seem contradictory.

“For sale”. Is it her home for sale? Or a shop sale?

Who is Caleb? Is it her son? At the start you said she had two?

Who is Matthew? Is it the other son, her husband? Or is it maybe a new husband after she thought the old one to be dead?

Who is holding Caleb. Whose is the deep voice?

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It was challenging for the length even after cutting it down and I agree it was hard to get it all in.
Caleb = son
Place = home
Matthew = husband
Patio = out the back to her yard.
For sale = their home
Thanks so much for the story challenge! My fiction is a work in progress 💖
Happy New Year!

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