Homecoming - 300 Word Short Story

in #story-300words2 years ago (edited)

She slammed her phone down and stepped toward the patio.

A breeze softly blew her damp tendrils around her tear stained face. The last bank turned her down. The place she'd fought to keep was slipping from her grasp.

She walked to the lane and listened to the birds singing in the boughs. Even they had homes. The thought of moving back to Pennsylvania was unthinkable. The last unemployment check deposited was spent on groceries for her and her sons. She came across the For Sale sign and looked away.

Ten years she toiled in the industry of nursing and the nursing home closed their door. Few, few places needed her skills as CRN.

Where would she go? St. Mark's by her place was fully staffed. A visiting nurse was not enough cash.

She sat on the grass and let tears flow freely.

Dusk snuck in and she stood and walked home. A miracle would be her only hope.

As she neared the house a car motor shut off.
Curious, she quickened her pace and slipped inside, locking the door.

She heard Caleb at the door speaking excitedly and a deep voice responded. He was holding Caleb.

She froze. Her hand clutching her chest. Matthew stood feet away. Imperceptibly changed but the eyes.

He saw her and ran to her. “Jen!”

Tears ran down his face. He pulled her in a tight embrace. “They sent me home!”
His words rushed out about the capture and he begged for release. The militant army in Afghanistan kept him for a decade. The army reported him dead to her. Anthony, his brother, located him and the army bargained a release.

“Jen, I’ve cash to cover the house,” he whispered in her hair, “I made a promise, and God fulfilled.

Wordcount : 296

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This short story is my entry for Short Story Initiative 300 Word Contest

The Make a Minnow project is an initiative designed to reward those who are exceptional in the minnowsupport community, the prize is a 5k delegation for a month!

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A true homecoming. And how timely! How saving! Especially after a loved one has been reported dead, and in deed been out for a while....a decade

And your life has apparently washed out as a result or consequence..

And now he returns - alive- “Jen, I’ve cash to cover and more,” How saving.

It is a classic story that delves into the true life experience of the men and the women of the armed forces. Afghanistan makes it seem an American Story! I think

Is it inspired by a particular experience?

The narrative is credible. How you wedge in the present to be resolved by the past! Its good work, easily one of the most enjoyable and least error ridden, in the pool of stories i have been reading since @swissclive opened the listing

Cheers!

You are a great curator. Thanks for taking the time to read all the stories!

Hope you get a nice fat vote for your story!! :) Happy endings are so nice!

Nice work! 300 words is so hard to take a story and make it powerful, but you did it.

Thank you so much! You're feedback me a lot to me because you are such a good writer!

Sweet dreams are made of this.

What a sweet, sweet story. Thank you for taking me to that place where the grass will grow greener.

Thank you, @dswigle.
I'm so happy you enjoyed this short story. It is super difficult to squeeze a story in 300 words LOL

Yet, you did it so well.

PS... one g in wigle. ;)

Ooops! Fixed that lol
Hugs!

LOL I am used to it! ♡

Voted at 100% for the surprise happy ending.

I feel you need to proof read this story again as I still don’t follow some things even after reading it several times.

‘Place”. Do you mean her home or her job?

“Patio”. If she was on the patio, she is already home, so why walk home?

There are some other problems with her location at various points in the story. It’s unclear whether she is home, and inside or outside. The words seem contradictory.

“For sale”. Is it her home for sale? Or a shop sale?

Who is Caleb? Is it her son? At the start you said she had two?

Who is Matthew? Is it the other son, her husband? Or is it maybe a new husband after she thought the old one to be dead?

Who is holding Caleb. Whose is the deep voice?

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It was challenging for the length even after cutting it down and I agree it was hard to get it all in.
Caleb = son
Place = home
Matthew = husband
Patio = out the back to her yard.
For sale = their home
Thanks so much for the story challenge! My fiction is a work in progress 💖
Happy New Year!

I nominated you for this poetry challenge - but no worries if you don't have time...

What link @mariannewest? Can you DM on discord? Hugs!

<3 <3 <3

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