Unsaid
The two stood. In silence. In want. In denial.
At the corner of her eye, Claire could see her colleagues already settled inside the bus. Soon as Sister Catherine and Mother Superior got done inside the church, the bus would depart.
They would shortly leave for the city, calling time on her six months at St. Benedict's.
Six months ago, she’d come here on a rotation mission call, soon making Jeremiah’s acquaintance.
Since then, he never really said anything. But she knew, saw, felt.
Standing here on the stairway, their wishful hearts remained un-confessed.
It was now, or never.
O dumb stupid heart, Jeremiah cursed. Didn’t it see? It was pointless? She’d never agree.
At the background, the church bell tolled, echoing the only sounds Claire thought she heard, as did Jeremiah.
We,
Us,
Stay,
She swallowed a lump of saliva. Why the wished, in the ding? Why the unsaid, in the dong?
Claire’s fingers stroked her rosary. She needed to remember!
Jeremiah’s lips moved, unspeakingly.
The tolling only got louder…now Claire’s name echoed: “Claire!”
She stroked the rosary harder.
Sister Catherine called, louder this time. “Claire!”
And Claire was jerked. Jeremiah too.
“Yes, Yes…” Claire stammered.
Up the tower, the bell hung calm. It had stopped tolling long before.
“It’s time.”
“But Mother Superior…” she started.
“She just bypassed you”, Sister Catherine revealed, hurrying away.
“I have to go,” Claire finally spoke, until then, the only words to pass between them.
Jeremiah nodded.
Inside the bus, Claire quietly sat.
As though she knew, Mother superior held her hand. “Its okay, my daughter. You passed your test!”.
As the bus sped off, Jeremiah’s eyes misted, but for all its worth, his lips now opened “I love you, Claire”.
What he wouldn’t say, he now did. But she would never hear.
Word Count - 299
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Who hasn’t had a crush on someone who is forbidden? A teacher, a family member, a priest, the au-pair, someone’s husband, an auntie, a student, a patient, the doctor, someone from a different religion, someone of the same sex? How often is the feeling mutual? I think this kind of experience happens all the time.
It makes me think of Olivia Newton John’s song “I honestly love you”. One of the lines goes like this: “There you are with yours, here I am with mine. We both know this moment should be ended in a kiss”
Upvoted 100% for the most romantic story so far, and told so well with perfect English and well laid out. Tough to squeeze it into 300 words, but you did it!
I just looked up that song. And how it mirrors this story!
for Claire's sake!
And for Jeremiah,
Strange i didn't even know of the song. I just added it to my collection!
I am honored, again, @swissclive. For everything!
It is a classic story of forbidden love. Including the regret of never saying how one feels.
I am a little skeptical though of how it would have played out had Jeremiah actually confessed his feelings. Would she have said yes?
Hello steemian,... I just posted the daily tips episode 1 day#2 and I would appreciate if you take a look at it. Please upvote me.
https://steemit.com/blog/@oneday1/the-daily-tips-episode-1-day-2-is-brought-to-you-by-oneday1
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@oneday1/the-daily-tips-episode-1-day-2
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@oneday1/2018-daily-tips-episode-1-day-1-introducing-new-day-new-year
I will take a look at it, @oneday1. Butwhether or not i upvote, depends on whether i find it/them worthy.
Meanwhile, what do you make of the story? I'd be honored to share your opinion.
That we'll never really know, @yahwehministry. At some point, it seems she would have, yet in - [Claire’s fingers stroked her rosary. She needed to remember!] is hinted Claire's commitment to her vow of chastity, to her faith.
That is thoughtful of you. I am glad.
You have done a superb work in this story, @ebitularmbert! Its tightly woven strands cradle the soul and heart and inmost being of everyman. It is one of your best!
I have upvoted and resteemed this post as my daily post promotion for people whom I have previously curated. I am honored to have had the chance to read this.
Cheers!
I am honored yet again, by your compliments, @mitneb
And glad to know you find it to be one of my best.. I am Learning. Improving.
Many who have followed me, shared with me in the commentaries, have been a great resource, you especially have been very helpful with your corrections and suggestions for improvement.
I am grateful. And still learning!
Thank you very much, @ebitularmbert! This is such a great community where we can help, support and encourage one another.
Cheers, my friend!
cheers!
@ebitularmbert, I could literally feel the tension between Claire and Jeremiah.
What if he confessed his love for her?
What if she waited?
I loved reading this. Great job!
That we'll never know! That is the beauty.
I am honored, @jeffways
This story reminded me of the moment of the family saga of the Australian writer Colin McCullough "The Thorn Birds" ... But there the story went very far and as a result, brought misfortune to the main characters.
We can come up with the end of your story yourself. Optimistic, or sad, due to individual desire and mood.
Much honored that the story resonates with an experience already explored by a renowned writer.
Thanks for the relation. And yes, the end probably depends on an individual's desire and mood.
Thanks again @inna-yatsuk, for taking time to read and thoughtfully deliberate.
Wow @ebitularmbert! This is exciting and for me one of the most beautiful stories I've read so far in story-300words tag!
I am glad. Honored.
I have followed your own stories there. You write well. Thanks