The last survivor
I am the last there is in this region.
At least I think I am. Cade was taken last week, he was not fast enough and they got him. The hunters, titans or overlords, whatever you want to call them. They may be slow, but one step and they can cover a large distance. There used to be so much cover. When the titans came, that was it, they removed our cover.
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We used to be a thriving colony, there were women, children. Now, there's just me, hiding in the shadows. That's my best defence. But, I need to eat, like all living creatures, I need food and water. Water is easy to find, there're two watering holes here where the titans would go to clean up.
Food, is a big problem.
The Titans store all their food in large wooden boxes and this impenetrable cold storage device. The boxes and storage device is out of the question. But, if I am fast enough, I can get to their waste disposal area. Maybe I will find something there. Better to go down fighting than to die of hunger.
I ran as fast as I could under the cover of darkness. The titans had to sleep. As I near my destination, I could smell it, FOOD! Then the lights came on and as I tried to escape, I felt an overwhelming pain, and then there was darkness. . I knew that I was too slow, I knew that this is the end. My body, twitching, unable to move. As I fade away, I could hear one Titan say...
word count: 273
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Your post stopped me in my tracks. I have started reading all your other posts. Very intriguing! Upvoted.
Thank you, hope you enjoy them and would love feedback if you have any
I'll see what I can do.
I like the allegory, and how well you hem and hew it.
You didn't have to reveal it in this last line though, in my opinion
I would have preferred you retain its mystery and allow us 'think it out! Because you had already done a great job leading the reader to that conclusion, not least because you included a picture!!.
Cheers!
That's a great point, I was worried that the message would not get across. As I was writing I wanted to shout, 'I'm a cockroach'. So I guess that feeling oozed out on to my piece.
Hahahah...I understand. You certainly were wholly into the action yourself!! Cheers!
I wish you had used the allegory as part of the story, rather than use the story as part of the allegory!!
Otherwise it is well constructed to finally lay bare the meaning. I agree with @okusarobert on that last line.(Finally, we've killed the last cockroach)
Thanks, will definitely do that on my next piece. Always fun to experiment with different kinds of writing and very feedback from others.
True. Thanks mate! Have you read some of my own? I prefer to vary as well, either theme or style.
Really intriguing, but I never thought it would be cockroaches that you were writing about. I laughed when I realized that.
Nice
Good story . I like the allegory, a little less the last image.. ;-)
That’s a surprise ending! I was rooting for you to survive, but when I read the end, I’m glad the titans swotted you.
Lol.. Thanks.. I think?
Btw, thank you so much for this initiative, think it let's many of us break out of our normal writing routine
That's a really nice twist. I like how you used the impenetrable cold storage device and titans. Are you a fan of anime?
Personally I'm a massive fan.
I am, I used to watch a lot, less now after my kids were born. But there's still time for attack on titan (shingeki no kyojin)
So I assume you are more into fast paced action anime. You could try https://steemit.com/entertainment/@vimukthi/why-and-how-you-should-watch-aldnoah-zero-review-analysis-love-letter-and-personal-thoughts if you haven't checked it yet.
Oh yes, have watched that, I love season 1 a little bit more than season 2,have you watched ajin?
I did watch it. I'd really love to see the next season. Personally I liked BLAME! from the same studio more.
You write so well! I enjoy reading a lot from you :) hope to learn something to improve mine from your posts! Very admire your skills in writing a suspense!