"Sir.... sir?"

"Yes yes Cartwright, what is it?"

"Well sir, a message has just arriv.."

"Spit it out lad, quit prevaricating and stand to attention when you address an officer of Her Majesties Steem Powered Forces"

"It's the Aussies sir, fahsands of 'em, they want a war sir"

"So they indeed? Pour another tea now, there's a good lad. A war eh..."

"Can we win sir?"

"My boy, we are the British Empire, the long arm of Queen Elizabeth II herself and we do not ask such questions for to doubt our success is tantamount to treason, not to mention lunacy... It's not a matter of whether we 'can' win boy, we 'WILL' win. We made that damn country when we sent the scum and villainy from our jails there, we can damn well unmake it!"

"But sir, what about the Drop Bears?"

"I've never met a drop bear yet that could stand up to a line of infantry firing 3 rounds per minute in any weather followed by a bayonet charge. They don't like it up em lad, they most certainly do not..."

"I'm scared sir, why us sir?"

"Because we're here lad. Nobody else. Just us. Now go round up the men, see they have their tea rations packed and ready, we're off to war."

As the young private left I sipped my tea thoughtfully, a war eh? We can match their drop bears but what the hell do we do about the kangaroo cavalry...?