RE: The construction loving Master Mind
Thanks, Alex.
Now you're crushing my gained self-esteem;-)
I would go above "the objective" truth because another belief of mine is that there is no such thing as "objectivity" - what is observed, measured, weighed, investigated etc. includes an observer who has an influence on what is being observed. I am almost certain you already are familiar with that theory. Though I do not understand it to the fullest and that is why I have another "belief" - or say, trust or faith in the theory:)
In the sense, I myself deal with "objectivity" I acknowledge that this is not possible in the way objectivity is understood in the context of human relationships. There is none from my point of view. In the field of mediation, for example, it is strictly against the rules for a mediator to take sides. But how can you help it? So I use a method which is called "nonpartishness" or "impartiality" - I listen to the first participant in the process and emphasize to the fullest what he/she is going through and what kind of problems are mentioned and believed to be there. I agree on a deeper level that the client is believing his problem. The exact same thing I do with the other party (I take the side of the person I am right then in touch with). The result of taking myself in this kind of mental state is way better than to let me be carried away by my feelings of subjective anger, pity or other things.
I suspect a therapist who deals with constructivism would also point out that a positive belief should be observed by the client in order to overcome the attached difficulties. Like "I can do everything on my own. I am independent of all others!"
You are giving me an idea to write another article, I am happy, you commented! :-)
Yes this is a very fashionable belief these days. Everyone's opinion is equal to the opinion of anyone else, there is no 'more correct' opinion, so let's say even if I have never studied mathematics I can have an opinion on an equation. In philosophy we call this 'student relativism', because most first year students have it, but after the first year almost all have abandoned it.
Certainly the observer plays a role. There's is such a thing as theory-laden observation even in science.
I understand the approach you discuss, it's the standard approach, no one would like therapists and mediators and marriage counselors if they took sides, but scientifically/philosophically I must object, because that would presuppose that no one is ever right or wrong. What would you do if the husband showed sexual interest toward the daughter, and maybe touched her in the wrong places etc.? Ah, now suddenly it's wrong! Now suddenly one must notify the authorities, because it's illegal! What I don't like about the whole counseling field is that it yields to authority and public mores and laws, instead of creating its own (hopefully objective) values like they used to do. For instance Freud tried to do this. He might have been wrong, but at least he tried to discover some objective reasons people behave in certain ways. Now they don't try to do this, instead they try to help the client, and whatever helps him feel better must by definition be the right thing to say. So I think it has become a question of money basically, of offering a service desirable to the customer, instead of seeking objective truth like they used to.
Sometimes 'objective truth' might mean just what you said: helping the client understand what is going on, listening and then offering a better way to put his thoughts and feelings into words and mental pictures and metaphors, using one's knowledge of history, literature, feminism, whatever, to say to the other person, "look, the reason you feel this is because of this" or "this thing you describe and feel is like this thing this person described in his book, and maybe you should read it, perhaps it will help you" etc. And then the partner will also be able to understand the other's perspective better, because it will be framed in more accurate words and mental pictures. So basically helping their client in their journey of self-discovery.
But I also think people use lies, self-deceptions, delusions, inconsistencies, contradictions, confirmation biases, and so on and so forth, all the time, and it would be good if therapists could indicate these things to people. Usually people think whatever it's to their advantage to think, and if they were taught not to do that, society as a whole would improve along several metrics.
Sorry for the long reply!