PRIVATE PRACTICE - A case where I closed consultation

in #steemstem5 years ago

Today I would like to report on my professional private practice

I think that many people have an interest in the way a person who does social consulting ticks inside. Therefore, as long as the episode is still fresh, I reveal a part of my experiences and allow an insight, which seems to be justifiable and at the same time protects the identity of my clients. I see additional protection in the publication in English (which is not my mother tongue).

I start with a letter I left for a client of mine at the reception in one of the three institutions I work for as a freelancer.

„Dear X,
it took me some time to reconsider our encounter and position myself. Now I have found the necessary composure.
It's not complicated at all:
In my shop, I offer schnitzel and chips. Sometimes - if the situation allows it and I don't have any other customers - you get a sausage or a piece of cheese from underneath the counter. Basically, however, there are only schnitzel and chips and no guarantee for the sausage and cheese.

You are now a customer who wants to tell me, a shop owner, that I should please also carry other articles and that I should be familiar with the goods you prefer. For example, chocolate. I told you, I don't deal with chocolate, I don't know about it and I don't want it either. If you get the impression that there is a special customer right for you, I take the responsibility to correct it. My upset reaction and my confusion in the last situation was simply a human reaction because I had the impression that you didn't accept what I had on the shelf. In order to prevent an escalation and because I was in danger of getting mad, I stopped our meeting.

How you deal with this emotionally is not force majeure, but a decision you can make for yourself. It was an opportunity to realize that I have my limitations. I once asked you if a therapist could be weak. You agreed to that. Now you can decide whether you meant it or not. Replace the word "therapist" with "consultant“ or simply "human" and you will know what it is about. It's less dramatic than you might be looking at it. I appeal to you to shed light on your part of the responsibility. I have reflected upon mine in the way I always do.

I like you. That I recommend therapy to you has to do with the fact that I care how you feel and is always a good advice when I realize that my shop is not the right place for it, because I am not a therapist.

Please don't text me, I won't respond. I see further social consulting as counterproductive and I will not do it with you for this reason. You are always welcome as a visitor to the X and I have nothing against a friendly chat in the X, if my time allows.

All the best and heartfelt greetings to you."

There are various possibilities to read this letter.

When you are in a calm state of mind it seems to be a positive effort to create understanding. But if you are not and if your mental state is on high alert, you might tend to misinterprate every sentence. I give you an example of the most worse interpretation to illustrate that.

Why I am doing that?

Because even if I have done my very best to deliver the message, I cannot expect another person to receive it as it was meant. So it tells me that I must let go of control and my wish that everything should be fine afterwards. The outlook on life people develop within their lifes, is given by this excerpt of a book called Systemic Therapy with Individuals from Luigi Boscolo and Paolo Bertrando.

The fact that I can give a misinterpretation of the letter also says a lot about me. I am not unfamiliar with such paranoid attitudes as can be read in the commentary fields. And I think everyone has a more or less paranoid mania in time. My own experience with self-centered thoughts can serve as a reminder for me to be able to understand why a person reacts to a statement from me differently than I would expect it to.

Since there is such a possibility, this knowledge keeps me from stiffening myself to insist on a desired result with regard to an argument or conflict. Therefore, the best way to resolve a conflict is if I have decided for myself not to hold on to it any longer and to make myself independent of the insight of another person.

You may ask why I chose written communication instead a of face to face one. In this particular case I did that on purpose and because I am only once a week working for that institution. The time went by from my client leaving the office and her suffering from being neglected accompanied with her reaction showed me that she believed she was not able to deal with this event on her own. I already left a week go by in order to see if she can handle it and realized that she was not or did not want to. As the spoken form of communication is one part of the problem I decided that a letter might going to be useful.

Role models

When I learned my profession, I was eagerly looking for personal reports of experiences on the consultant side. Also, those who work as therapists interested me in describing their work with clients. How else am I supposed to learn from these people? After all, there is no possibility of participating in the consulting setting. Books have supported me in this, including for example Irvin D. Yalom, a psychiatrist and seemingly a friend of sharing his client experiences. I do not favor all of his notions but his written examples of therapist-client-encounters I do worship a lot.

Side note: While there is a lot going on on the research- and the method-side, there is less available on real client-consultant side in the form of actually presented cases and examples.

The quality of advice only really comes into its effect when it becomes difficult. It is, of course, nice when the cooperation between consultant and client runs smoothly and both are satisfied with the results and findings.
But what if it gets really stuck? What if I run into a person I can't handle? How can I tell if I'm still the right choice for someone?

Self awareness

Self-awareness is a conscious awareness of one’s internal states and interactions with others.

With me, it's my own feelings. That requires that I am skilled to be aware of my own state of mind and emotions in the moment they arise. Such as confusion, anger, inconsistency or despair. If I notice that I suddenly have these changes in the presence of a client, even though I have been relaxed and happy before a meeting, this is an initial indicator that there is something wrong with the communication between me and my client. If this happens only once or rarely, I don't waste any more thoughts on it and chalk it up as a "bad moment". However, if my feelings of this kind accumulate, then I have to start asking what is actually going on.

The best thing I can do is ask for the client's assignment. Which is why he or she comes into my consultation in a very concrete way. What the core issue is and whether we manage to do it in half an hour or whether we might need one or two more sessions. If the client can give a clear answer and we make good progress in the first session and come to an end with one or two more, everything is fine.


That's what happens when a client is truthful and not lying. Lies are often not a conscious form of communication. Lies come through the lips in the form of pseudo-conviction.

In order to develop a nose for pseudo-convictions, it is absolutely necessary to have fallen for them a few times.

This is not easy to notice, nor can it be recognized in the process of development, but only afterwards. So if my client claims to have an assignment for me and that is "so and so", I assume that this is true. It would also be strange to proceed in a different way. If I suspect that it is not really the real matter of concern when the question is answered, I could draw the frame of my questions a bit larger and want to know: "Is this all? Is there anything more important than you can think of now? What could that be?"

If I am not able to stay calm and I become dissatisfied because I sense that an answer might be untruthful I cannot simply say: "I don't believe you". That is counterproductive and just leads to a back and forth argumentation why I must believe the client from his perspective and why I reject to do so from mine. That happened already and I put it aside as my mistake in consultation.

But even this is not the last word of wisdom. If I have a client of the calibre of multiple pseudo-convictions in front of me and who has read something about "financial loopholes" and cites this as the real problem of his money affairs, I am powerless. At least at that moment.

Persistence in the client

In the case of this particular client, I assumed from a certain moment on that the client's concerns were pseudo-like. I then advised her to seek therapy. I did this quite early on. She asked me if she could come to me in other matters and I replied (not recollecting the exact words but similar to): "Yes, if there are any problems that we can solve satisfactorily here in the course of the consultation". I didn't realize at the time that I should have denied it. She then opened the subsequent open consultation hours with a special emphasis on the fact that she wanted to discuss this or that concretely and that these were obviously suitable topics which would fall within the scope of my offer.

Yes, I know, now in retrospect it's easy to wonder whether I had been slow to understand.

I was a bit uncomfortable with her strange openings, but I wanted to be of good faith. I ignored my very soft warning voices, which signaled something else to me. A slight resentment accompanied the meetings and I mostly felt a bit impatient, for which I blamed myself. My thoughts were: "Erika, be a little more patient. There are people and situations that require it. Besides, you don't usually give up so fast. She's just a challenge and have you ever shied away from it? No! So. Give her a chance and don't be so ungracious." Also my ambition played into it to really be able to help everyone and to want to do this.

Classic helper syndrome, isn't it?

On top of it all, I like her. She is very charming and we laughed together several times. In addition, it was an interesting change of linguistic nature to my other clientele by her meeting my level.

This shows me that I did not only have altruistic reasons to advise her but also some quite tangible egoistic ones.

"Altruistic people, who work hard to help others, should not be sus­pected ipso facto of harbouring ulterior selfish motives. Nonethe­less, the ‘helping pro­fessio­ns', such as nur­sing, chari­table work, the ministry, and psychotherapy, attract people for curi­ous and often psychologically sus­pect reasons.... Such people may be lured, knowingly or unknow­ingly, by the position of auth­ority, by the depend­ence of others, by the image of bene­vol­ence, by the prom­ise of adula­tion, or by a hope of vicariously help­ing them­selves through help­ing others"

source: The Magnetism of Power in Helping Relationships. Professional Attitude and Asymmetry- Theo N.M. Schuyt, Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam - quote from Thomas Mae­der on "Wounded Healers"

Also, I could clearly sense manipulation efforts from my client.

Because social workers in all practice settings encounter clients who use self-serving manipulative tactics, it is vital that social workers discern such tactics and manage them skillfully. Otherwise social workers may unwittingly respond counterproductively to these maneuvers, thereby permitting clients to impair the helping relationship and undermine progress. Manipulative behavior is defined, and its potentially detrimental impact on helping relationships is discussed within the context of communication-interaction theory.

Types of manipulative behavior discussed and illustrated include attempting to control conditions of treatment, avoiding engaging in the helping process, attempting to gratify needs in the helping relationship that are ordinarily gratified from other sources, seeking to avoid aversive consequences of infractions, and seeking to gain unearned benefits and favors. Guidelines for managing these behaviors are presented and illustrated.

Source: Abstract of the book Social Work - Managing Manipulative Behavior in the Helping Relationship Dean H. Hepworth

Self reflection in my role as a social worker

Now that I have made this clear to myself, the next phase follows. Not to accuse me of it and not to make a pit of murder from my heart. Guilt is notoriously bad. But responsibility is something completely different.

In any case, as a consultant for a public institution, I have the responsibility not to treat a client according to my personal preferences and dislikes. I can reject someone most certainly, if I really don't feel a single friendly impulse and for this reason alone would advise this person badly. It is my responsibility to reflect on what happens between a person and me when difficulties arise.

For the simple reason that I learn from it. Everything I learn benefits my clients in return. It is undisputed that sometimes a supervisor could be very helpful to me. It would be highly advisable to give social workers supervision hours. Since this is not possible for various reasons, which everyone can think of and which I do not call, I have to find my own ways and therefore also talk to my colleagues about cases which burden me. This does not always achieve the quality of a professional supervision but is better than nothing. If I get a higher fee, I would hire a supervisor to meet me myself. Basically, every investment in improving the quality of my work is a service to the community, because the actions have all their consequences.

This platform could make such an investment possible. In my view, every form of improvement in the quality of work is worthy of funding and has a significance that goes beyond my own personal attribution.

Interdependence - the great circle of events

To give a vivid example of exaggeration: The young man I am advising today, for example, because we really made progress in ten meetings and I helped him a great deal in his career planning, could one day set up a foundation, father two children and prevent a fight between two business partners, because he remembered the circular questions from our meetings. Those who have been prevented from being divided will then experience the beneficial effects of dispute resolution and apply it with their wives at home. The customers of the wives have to deal with well-balanced people with whom they like to do business. Also mutual children benefit from that. etc.

This overstated example, admittedly, is intended to illustrate the interdependence of all of us and this is meant by saying: "The movement of a butterfly wing in China can cause an earthquake in America." It also shows how many thousands and thousands of encounters a person has in time and space and that each of them has an effect.

I have at least developed the claim to cause as many useful and harmless effects in the world as possible and I use an ethic which is very supportive to me in many parts. It is the systemically integrative view of humanity and life itself, which I suspect to be part of the doctrine of Buddhism and its various sub-cultures.

Final statement

In the work with the client there were both productive and unproductive meetings. The trouble shooting was part of it. In my opinion, however, the client has to work on the foundations of her strategies and she cannot do that if she thinks I can accompany her on this path. I would only foment a dependency that has the opposite effect to what she still has to do in her personal development work.

Exchange of (practice) examples

I am actually on the search for other practitioners and would appreciate a common exchange of thoughts and support. So I am tagging this article with „privatepractice“ (which is btw a series title) and would like you to start a resteem-chain.

If you can provide this community with examples from your work, please use the comment section and link to your article.
I would like to know if you have a story where you supported someone or having been suported by a social worker/therapist or other pro. In case you have a story which shows support out of the pro-context and its a good one, this counts, too (for example a „Million Dollar advice“ from a friend with a certain effect).

Thank you for reading.

To explain my work: I work as a freelancer for various social institutions. The areas include "social counselling" and coaching in the career context of young adults. I also advise private clients who come to me as self-payers. The work in social counselling is limited to concrete aids such as the formulation and understanding of applications for statutory social security systems (health, unemployment and pension insurance). In addition, I refer to offers in the district or in the institution's house if I believe that a problem cannot be solved by my advice.

However, my work goes beyond the mere filling out and explaining of applications, as the clients bring with them all kinds of additional questions and interpretations or run the risk of getting into difficulties as far as they insist on certain strategies and behaviours that have a detrimental effect on them and the systems surrounding them. For example, by ignoring letters from bailiffs, landlords, job centres, etc. due to psycho-social difficulties, or by stiffening themselves to the fact that all these interaction partners want to harm them. My role is to inform the client about the respective functions of the authorities/help offers and to support them in dealing constructively with the demands placed on them.

Text sources:

- Constructive Questions: "How do therapeutic questions work?" - Daniel Raymond McGee B.Ed., University of Victoria, 1979 M.A., University of British Columbia, 1991 Link
- Systemic Therapy with Individuals from Luigi Boscolo and Paolo Bertrando: Link
- Psychiatrist Irvin D. Yalom - Wikipedia
- Eur J Psychol. 2016 Nov; 12(4): 645–658. Published online 2016 Nov 18. PMC Journal Online - Measuring the Effects of Self-Awareness: Construction of the Self-Awareness Outcomes Questionnaire / Anna Sutton Link
- The new conversations initiative question techniques
- The Magnetism of Power in Helping Relationships. Professional Attitude and Asymmetry- Theo N.M. Schuyt, Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam - Link
Book abstract - Social Work - Managing Manipulative Behavior in the Helping Relationship Dean H. Hepworth

Picture sources:

Book1: Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
Book 2: Photo by Mona Eendra on Unsplash
Buddha Statue: Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on Unsplash


This is a test comment, notify @kryzsec on discord if there are any errors please.

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All is fine! Thank you and all the best for @kryzsec :-)

I'm having some trouble figuring out the point you want to make, might be because you're not allowed to talk about the case, so I don't really see, what exactly the problem was. Did she expect psychiatric help from you and was offended when you told her that we aren't trained for that?
Did she just not accept the solutions you offered? Did you feel like she was being ungrateful? Did you think she was just looking for external factors to blame without considering her own involvement?
Did you feel like she just wanted to rant?

In other words: What was the reason, you felt you couldn't sucessfully continue providing help? And what was she trying to manipulate you into?

I concluded that you thought for yourself that in the end your negative feelings towards the client overshadowed your ability to help, if I'm not mistaken? That's one big reason why I think a team of professional social workers with different characteristics, skills and methods is crucial for good social work.
I also agree with the need for supervision to get the problems and questions you're confronted with in this complex work environment off your chest. It's too bad that often times it's just too expensive for the freelancers or employers.

Could you try clearing up my questions for me? I understand if it's not possible to go into details to protect the client.

Oh and I do think the exchange of private practice examples would be interesting, just to see what other people in the profession think.

I'm always quite amazed what kind of different content can be found on here. :)


Ja, Du sprichst Mal wieder mehrere, wichtige Themen an. "Jetzt möchte ich Supervision", denke ich auch ein Klient mich verwirrt, mir komische Gefühle gibt oder ich mich fragen muß ob das Gesagte die Wahrheit ist.

Letztens hatte ich Glück einen befreundeten Therapeuten zu treffen mit dem ich genau Dieses besprechen konnte. Wie befreiend es war, einige Referenzen zu hören und mich zu stabilisieren. Es ist schließlich mein Job mitzugehen, mit zu forschen, zu unterstützen.

Lügnereien haben auf mich einen körperlichen Effekt. Etwas stäubt sich in mir. Da es ein Gefühl ist, versuche ich natürlich heraus zu finden was sich da so komisch anfühlt. Gerne hätte ich regelmäßig Supervision. Doch das ist sehr teuer. - Dann helfen die Prinzipien des Buddhismus oft sehr.

Wenn ich merke das ein Klient mit mir spielt muß ich mich fragen ob ich der richtige Therapeut für die Situation bin. Gerne vermittle ich Klienten weiter wenn ich nach der ausgemachten Zeit keine Lösung sehe. Dies passiert selten denn systemische Therapie ist aus meiner Sicht ziemlich genial. Man braucht nur zu fragen...

Ich denke Du hast es richtig gemacht. Auch einen Brief zu schreiben ist sensibel und umschifft elegant Gespräche die in Zuweisungen enden. Bringt überhaupt nichts.

Sich mit Kollegen auszutauschen finde ich auch sehr wichtig. Manchmal frage ich die tibetischen Mönche wenn ich mich überprüfen will. Das kann wirklich frustrierend sein. Sie antworten ungeschminkt und praktisch. Es ist alles nicht so groß wie wir Europäer es sehen wollen. Richtig fühlen, richtig denken, richtig handeln, richtig sprechen.

Falls Du den Mönch kennenlernen möchtest ist das kein Problem. Er fährt alle 2 Monate durch Hamburg und trinkt gerne mit Dir einen Cafe am Bahnhof. Du kannst mich über unsere Webseite anschreiben.

Vielen herzlichen Dank für dein Feedback. Ich freue mich, dich mal wieder zu sprechen.
Ja, der systemische Ansatz ist mir eine große Stütze in der Arbeit und ich wäre ohne diese Sicht auf die Welt um einiges unsicherer. Richtig, ein Brief als Anker für Klarheit war aus meiner Sicht nötig und hatte den Zweck, zwischen meiner und der Verantwortung meines Gegenübers zu unterscheiden, ohne das erneut in einem Gespräch zu "verdiskutieren".

Sehr gerne würde ich einen Mönch als "Supervisor" befragen oder mit ihm über meine Arbeit sprechen:)
Er würde sich tatsächlich mit mir am Bahnhof treffen? Ist ja interessant! Ich habe jetzt akut kein Anliegen mehr, aber es wäre mir eine Freude, wirklich in Kontakt mit einem buddhistischen Mönch zu bekommen. Hast du Lust, dich auf discord mit mir zu treffen? Ich bin dort unter demselben Namen wie hier.

Lach, die frustrierende Erfahrung aufgrund von wohlwollender Direktheit zu machen, stelle ich mir überaus nützlich vor! :-)

Ich danke dir für dieses Angebot!

Ja das macht er . Ich freue mich wenn wir Weiteres über emal oder Tel. besprechen. LG

Wow... da hab ich mal ganz schön zu knabbern. Mir kommt es so vor, als könntest Du definitiv schneller schreiben als ich lesen ;-) Und verstehen möchte mans dann auch noch!

Wenn man mit Leib und Seele bei der Sache ist, kommt man natürlich immer mal an einen Punkt, wo es hakt und man vielleicht sogar frustriert ist. Auch wenn Du Strategien entwickelt hast dem entgegen zu wirken. Umso mehr bewundere ich, mit welcher Leidenschaft Du Deinen Beruf ausübst und Dich den Problemen stellst.

Musste Schmunzeln, als durch klang, dass man manchmal auch ausgenutzt wird. Kommt mir irgendwie bekannt vor, so nach dem Motto wenn Du den kleinen Finger gibst... Ich muss allerdings zugeben, dass ich vor Jahren systematisch die ganzen Blutegel abgeschüttelt habe. Und in meinem Beruf hab ich es da auch leichter. Normalerweise habe ich keine Probleme mit meinen "Klienten", aber es gab zwei, die glaubten, dass sie mit dem Erwerb meiner Arbeit auch ein Anrecht auf mich bzw. meine Zeit hatten. Da komm ich dann doch zu dem Punkt, wo ich lieber "ein Geschäft sausen lasse", als dass mir dann jemand ständig meine Energie raubt.

Was mich besonders freut, ist wenn ich sehe, dass ein Post von Dir erfolgreich ist. Also der Teil, der sozusagen messbar ist. Die upvotes. Wie das was Du schreibst andere inspiriert, lässt sich ja nur schwer nachweisen, außer in den Kommentaren vielleicht. Und da sehe ich auch wieder etwas, was uns verbindet. Dass wir in dem was wir machen gut sein wollen und immer Wege zur (Selbst) Verbesserung suchen :-)

Danke, Reinhard! Ich sehe, wir verstehn uns, wie immer:)
Das Ausgenutzt werden bzw. sich ausnutzen lassen - wenn ich es bei mir ansiedele - wirft für mich die Frage auf, ob ich Probleme damit habe, andere Menschen gehen zu lassen und ihnen schlicht zuzutrauen, dass sie schon einen Weg finden werden bzw. akzeptiere, dass ihr Weg (noch und für wie lange ist unklar) beschwerlich bleiben soll.

Aus meiner Sicht wählen alle Menschen freiwillig ihren Weg. Der eine wählt einen sehr anstrengenden und leidvollen, der andere einen weniger beschwerlichen. Insoweit ich in meiner Arbeit mit Klienten den Eindruck habe, dass ein Mensch bei mir etwas will, was er selbst nicht sonderlich ernst nimmt bzw. nicht bereit ist, fürsorglich mit sich umzugehen, ist es natürlich ein nutzloses Unterfangen, solch eine Fürsorge von mir zu erhalten, die dann ebenso wenig empfangen werden kann.

Bisschen so wie wenn du jemandem, der einen Schnitt im Finger hat, ein Pflaster reichen willst und er meidet es, seine Hand dafür zu öffnen und es entgegenzunehmen. Um diese Methapher fortzuführen, könnte man sagen, es sei hier angebracht, das Pflaster einfach drauf zu kleben. Nur, um dies dann auch zu tun und festzustellen, dass derjenige wiederkommt, das Pflaster weg ist und die Wunde erneut blutet. Jeder Versuch ein neues Pflaster anzubringen oder darzureichen, endet im Boykott.

Für mich hat dann dieser Mensch entschieden, dass es für ihn einen höheren Gewinn hat, dass die Wunde bluten soll. Wenn diese meine Perspektive auch vom Gegenüber als eine mögliche Wahrheit betrachtet werden kann, mache ich so etwas wie eine Entwicklung mit ihm mit. Ansonsten nicht.

Man könnte das Pflaster-Spiel endlos weiterspielen. Ist aber absurd, nicht?

HaHa! Dein Vergleich, dass ein Kunde dich gleich mitkauft, ist lustig! Ja, das wäre so, als ginge ich in den Supermarkt und würde denken, dass der Kassierer oder der Filialleiter mir seine Aufmerksamkeit zum Dank schenken muss, dass ich mein Obst dort erwarb.

Es könnte aber natürlich auch alles ganz anders sein. Die Möglichkeit, dass du und ich uns einige Dinge so konstruieren, wie sie uns stimmig scheinen, ist immer gegeben. Und das ist für ein gewisses Maß auch nötig, da sonst nichts mehr voneinander unterschieden werden kann. Entscheidungen treffen ist daher richtig:)

Du kennst mich mittlerweile recht gut & ich finde es sehr bereichernd mit dir im Austausch zu sein und zu sehen, dass Verbesserung ein gutes Ideal ist, ohne, dass es einem die würgende Hand des Perfektionismus um die Kehle legt. Danke, mein - sollte ich sagen Kollege - Reinhard! Ich lerne viel von dir.

Herzlichen Gruß an dich!

Natürlich verstehen wir uns 😁

Das mit dem Geben und ausgenutzt werden ist so eine Sache und natürlich muss man jedem selbst die Entscheidung lassen, was er/sie mit seinem/ihrem Leben anstellt.

Ich verstehe auch, dass es Leute gibt, bei denen einfach kein Pflaster hält. Ich hab allerdings ein paar Typen kennen gelernt, die es ganz gut verstehen, von anderer Leute Pflaster zu leben. Besonders ein Kollege fällt mir ein, der mich fast ruiniert hätte. Er hatte das echt gut drauf und ist auch sehr charismatisch. Versteht es, Leute für sich zu motivieren und einzuspannen. Ist auch ein großer Befürworter des Teilens und hat auch seine (im Nachhinein) nutzlosen Weisheiten immer gerne geteilt. Alles was ich hatte auch 😜

Das ist wohl der Unterschied in unserer Arbeit. Du musst akzeptieren, dass so mancher halt einfach einen blutigen Finger hat und ihm letztlich nicht wirklich geholfen werden kann. Weil es nicht um die Genesung geht, sondern das Pflaster die "Droge" ist, wenn ich das richtig verstanden hab. Ich muss einfach lernen, mir nicht das ganze Pflaster von der Rolle ziehen zu lassen, damit sich einer schön den Finger einwickeln kann, ohne was dafür zu leisten.

Natürlich konstruiert man sich auch so manches zurecht. Ist aber die menschliche Natur, oder? Wahrnehmung basiert darauf, Zusammenhänge zu erkennen. Wenn keine da sind, bastelt sie unser Hirn einfach. Dann ist der eigentlich Kniff wohl zu erkennen, was wirklich hinter etwas steckt... und die "richtigen" Entscheidungen zu treffen. Da kommt dann Erfahrung ins Spiel, wobei auch die uns mal ein Bein stellen kann. Ist aber immer noch besser, als blind in jedes Loch zu tappen. Und da kommt bei mir das Lernen und der Wunsch zur Verbesserung dazu. Was auch eine gewisse "Leichtigkeit" mit sich bringen soll... im Gegensatz zur würgenden Hand des Perfektionismus wie Du so schön sagst.

Also lernen von mir, das würde ich mal eher skeptisch betrachten. Lumperei vielleicht. Aber sonst gibts bestimmt bessere Möglichkeiten 🤪

LOL! Ich widerspreche dir überaus höflich.

Ich lerne viel von dir und durch dich. Einerseits durch den direkten Austausch von Kommentaren und andererseits durch das, was sich mir vorbildhaft durch deinen Blog erschließt. Die Art, wie du ihn betreibst, wie du schreibst, wie du kommentierst: All das hat Vorbildfunktion. Für jeden, der deiner ansichtig wird.

Würde man über dich eine Art Gesamt-Urteil treffen, so käme - zumindest aus meiner Wahrnehmung - dabei heraus, dass es sich um einen in seiner Profession äußerst kreativen, humorvollen und talentierten Menschen handelt; auch recht gefestigten. Der viele Geschichten schon erlebt hat und sie gerne erzählt. Mit der Tendenz, niemandem zu nahe treten zu wollen und sich gleichzeitig vorsichtig aber interessiert zu nähern. Wehre dich nicht, du bist mein Lehrer unter allen:)

Deine Stärke (Großzügigkeit, Herzlichkeit, Hilfsbereitschaft) ist gleichzeitig dein Achillesverse. Aber ohne das eine nicht das andere. Das, was einen Menschen am meisten auszeichnet, hat eben neben der lichten auch eine dunkle Seite.

Das Teufelchen steckt im Detail: "Ich muss einfach lernen, mir nicht das ganze Pflaster von der Rolle ziehen zu lassen, damit sich einer schön den Finger einwickeln kann, ohne was dafür zu leisten."

Erstens, hat dieser Energievampir dich das bereits gelehrt (also danke an den Kerl, der dir deine Rolle abgezogen hat!) und vielleicht denkst du nur, dass du es lernen "musst"; ergo einen Zwang darin siehst, es aber doch lieber freiwillig passieren darf. Man bemerke den feinen Unterschied. Du kannst jetzt behaupten, das sei einfach eine sprachliche Gewohnheit, aber auch die haben ihren verborgenen Sinn.

Ohne diesen Mann - der sonst nichts leistet (lass ihn doch) - hättest du vielleicht noch immer auf seine Lektion gewartet. Mir scheint, wir kreisen um dasselbe Thema:) - macht nix, ist mir nur aufgefallen.
Dich hat er aber - so denke ich - davon kuriert, auf weitere Blender herein zu fallen, die dir seither begegneten oder noch begegnen werden. Oder nicht?

Er wird irgendeinen anderen Nutzen, eine andere Leistung an einer ganz anderen Stelle in seinem Leben für jemanden haben, wovon du nichts weißt.

Ach was gäbe ich dafür, mich kürzer zu fassen. Vielleicht lerne ich das auch noch.
Herzlich, Dein Shrink

Guter Artikel, Erika!!!
Ich freu mich total über deinen Erfolg hier!!
Ich komm übrigens am 22.! Vielleicht sehn wir uns da ja auch mal, würd mich freun!! Drück dich!! Monja 😘

Danke dir! Du besuchst doch bestimmt Rainer, oder? Da bin ich dabei, wenn ich nichts anderes vorhabe:) Freu mich auf ein Wiedersehen!

Yes! Dann bis bald! :)

Wow amazing you are right. I am agree with you and you thinking. Every person have a different mind and different thinking. You have a great post I understand your message thanks.

"Erika, be a little more patient.

I guess your name is Erika xD Well Erika great post, i have one question though, doesn't posting stuff about your cases here on steemit interfere with the privacy of your clients? all that doctor-patient confidentiality?

(for example a „Million Dollar advice“ from a friend with a certain effect).

The only million dollar advice that i got from a friend was: "forget that bitch, she didn't deserve you, you are too good for her" it worked... Does that count xD?

Thank you.

Yes, that's my name. And it's the only one, I mentioned :)

I would like to answer with a question:
Do you think I hurt my client's identity and do you see any confidential aspects of identity being revealed?

You must know, that since I am doing this work, I met over 2000 clients and it could be any one of them.

Mostly I wrote it because I myself had wished for more publications on the Internet.

:-D LOL.

No, that advice from your friend does not count.

Yes, you are right... I'm always afraid of speaking about any of my patients, even if I don't say their names... doctor-patient confidentiality is a risky thing... I'm a vet student and let me tell you in the few time I spent working in a clinic I've seen the worst of humankind and the best of humankind, I've seen ppl bringing dogs that were run over and they paid for their care out of their pockets, and ive seen dogs covered in fleas and tickets with heart problems almost dead, and the owner left him in the clinic while he went on holidays, the animal suffered for 3 days, had 3 heart attacks and managed to wait for the owner to actually end his holidays
It's really troublesome some of the stuff we vets see... we normally shut up, because at least they brought the animal to the clinic, but I've seen soo many students drop out because they couldn't handle the pressure. And just like you said, I myself wished there were more publications on the internet on how to deal with some of the stuff we see... the first time I saw a dog that was run over let me tell you, it's not pretty at all, if I explained it here I would have to put a NSFW tag on this comment...

If my friend's advice does not count than i don't know xD

And you are right, too for this confidentiality must be considered. The fine line between giving information, reflect at the same time about issues and not hurting I have in mind.

So, when you speak about the things, which cause trouble in you in witnessing how animals are hurt would require additional information about how you get support in getting certain strategies of dealing with what you face in your profession. I would like to know if there is a part within your education covering that?

Aren't you obliged to report it to an animal protection association if an animal is negligently mistreated? Is this not exempt from professional secrecy?

What do you recommend to pet owners if you notice that someone is very negligent or abusive with an animal? Do you have the impression that your recommendations made someone think?

I can understand your compassion very well and I didn't think that so many of the students would quit. I'm really sorry about that.

to your friend's advice: Oh, of course, you know ;-)

I would like to know if there is a part within your education covering that?

Yes, but i will only have it in the 4 year of the degree...

Aren't you obliged to report it to an animal protection association if an animal is negligently mistreated?

We are not obliged to report, we can if we want, but this law is very recent, the thing is that most clinics think that by reporting it they will get a bad rep with the owners... It really depends on the owner of the clinic, and like i said, at least they brought the animal to the clinic, if we start telling the authorites they just keep doing the same thing but never bring their animals to the clinic...

What do you recommend to pet owners if you notice that someone is very negligent or abusive with an animal?

If you asked me 1 year ago before the law against pet abuse passed i would have told you, you couldn't do anything, but right now after the law, just call the authorities, and keep calling them until they actually do something!! get the neighbors to call, get everyone to call.
If someone can abuse an animal, they are just 1 step away of doing the same to a human

Revealing therapy consultations gives us professionals a chill, yes. To discuss a behavior in general is decent. E (I name her) is touching important issues a good therapist/social worker must ask him/her self. Is the client playing with me to fulfill their need of attention or are there deeper issues that are holding them back from unfolding.
E has very carefully, without naming the patients name, social status etc, explained the situation between her and a client. Examples are seen in most therapy books. I my view she kept the privacy well.

Waw enlightenment is very useful for self-inspection to always be confident
Thank you @erh.germany. upvote me at @awahidsteem. I always admire the writing
Which is very meaningful.

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a very interesting post.
I like it very much.
good luck always brother

Wow very good your posts

sach ma, hör ma uff damit - kommentierst überall sinnlos rum, votest den post nicht mal, aber dich selbst. das ist auf gut deutsch einfach bockmist. und gerade bei so wertvollen posts wie diesem hier von Erika total daneben! und darum flagge ich dir deine 11 cent wieder weg.

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