RE: Let's talk about phobias. From a personal approach
Hello @carloserp-2000 :)
Firstly let me tell you how much I enjoyed reading this post. Of course, I am sorry for your mum's experience and also for how limiting it can be for you all. But, you did an excellent job in capturing the most relevant aspect of this topic and discussing it from a personal perspective. If only more people were this dedicated to the psychological distress that visits them, or indeed, their loved ones society in general would be much less troubled by mental afflictions! So, well done there :)
Now, to your mum... Personally, I would not be so quick as to say she is being afflicted by some specific kind of phobia. You did say "I remember she didn't send text messages, because she doesn't like to deal with things that way." One possibility to consider is that her personal preferences of dealing with things have distanced her from adopting computers and smart-phones to such an extent that now to catch up with it all might feel intimidating and overwhelming for her. Especially because she is a smart woman this sort of intimidation might affect her in an even more negative degree.
The option you highlighted of addressing phobias is a cognitive approach. I am a greater believer of cognitive methods. But, I wouldn't start with suggesting her to think of her worst fears in relations to computers and smart-phones. I would start with:
(1) asking her, casually, what is that which goes through her head when she imagines herself handling them. You might hear that she just feels awkward about it!
(2) ask her how she feels about it (her awkwardness) and inform her that how she feels about it doesn't really reflect the reality of things (e.g. that she actually might be more talented at using those devices than she ever imagined).
(3) discuss her possible thoughts with her in an objective way. For example, showing that what intimidates her can (a) be overcome, or (b) is not exactly realistic.
(4) when she has conquered he own negative thoughts and, therefore, emotions about these devices it's time to "try things on". Calling your younger sister on her own might be a good option. When she does, it is paramount for your sister to celebrate this as a huge accomplishment (positive reinforcement).
It's important to remember, however, that this can only ever be accomplished if she is willing to brave into the world of computers and phones :D People can only be helped with whatever mental hesitancy or intimidation they're experiencing if they are open to challenge the object of their affliction. One can only be helped if one wants to be helped :)
These are my suggestions. If you have any other questions let me know :) I am no expert, but I am familiar with the topic you discussed here. The most peculiar instance I've dealt with was that of a young woman who was afraid of waking up! We, people, are peculiar in that way :) But, we are also incredibly resilient and goal oriented.
Thank you for the mention my dear Carlos & congratulations, once again, for the incredible work you put together here!
I always try to address the issue, but every time I do we argue or she ignores me and since we spend very little time together, then I don't mention her much about it anymore and I try to enjoy a nice time by her side.
I'd like to take her to therapy, but she always refuses, I still don't know why she's so afraid of phones and computers.
Thanks @abigail-dantes
Hi,
To me the number seems low. I think perhaps people may not seek help for phobias and therefore the cases are under-reported. Also, if people suffer from agoraphobia or social phobia, they are not likely to be noticed because they don't go out. These people are literally hidden from view.
After reading your piece I looked up some material about phobias (yes, you got me interested). Found a great article. It suggests an occurrence somewhere in the 12% range. The article was written in response to a case that had been undiagnosed for maybe 50 years. The patient suffered from tomophobia, which is very specific: fear of invasive medical procedures. If the individual hadn't needed medical care, this case never would have been discovered.
I wish I could help your mother...I'm quite old and find electronic devices enrich my life. Same for my husband.
I think it's wonderful (as @abigail-dantes says) that you are willing to reach out to your mom. Perhaps if you explain the problem in terms of your own fear, that you fear losing contact with her, maternal instincts might win the day. In that way, she is in control and helping her son. Moms are really susceptible to the needs of their children :)
Good luck... again, let me say that this is a helpful article. Many people may have family or friends with this issue and your article increases understanding.