How to be a rockstar on STEEM, one blood sweat and tears post at a time.

in #steempunks6 years ago (edited)

I bet you you're here because you're wondering how to get rich on STEEM, well you've come to the right place. You have to start at the bottom, and play by the rules.

Rule number one: never shitpost.

If you shitpost little gremlins lay eggs in your comments, those eggs hatch into little worms that eat witness ram. So never ever shitpost, instead focus on the anatomy of the post.

Rule number two: have a heart

The first way to not shitpost write a post with heart, right good beefy heart, the kind of stuff that makes them weep and shakes them down to their fundament.

Rule number three: have some back bone

Have you seen this guy? The mysterious spine among the spineless, have a spine, show you know what you're doing, take STEEM by the horns and adorn it with posts that have bone in the back.

danico.gif

Rule number four: have some brainz

When you post, if you have brainz, you should use them. Dan invented STEEM with special magic that proves if you have brain, if you don't produce proof of brain you will not receive a lambo.

Rule number five: have some balls

You have to have balls to use STEEM, big balls.

If you proved you had brainz, and you were thought with your balls, you have the elements that you require to make the best STEEM post ever, ill posting is only available to the illest folk on the blockchain, and if you want to be ill think with your balls while you're using your brain.

Now forget that you've ever read this post and click upvote.

ॐ we are one ॐ

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good job toughing it out in SA under current conditions!

Brains and balls.... hah. I'm a woman. Does it count if I own my husbands balls!?

My official recommendation is to get some crystal balls, they let you see the future!

I'd probably break them. I'm a klutz.

lol 😂
Point delivered with humor.
Definitely Proof of Brain 👍
I am heading over to your blog now.
@shortsegments

Thanks for the tips, man! Also posting memes that you just saw on 9gag might work if you are looking to bring quality content on steemit. Otherwise, youtube links with no description whatsoever will do the job as well :P Need to play pubg again btw :D

I'm seeing a curie on this comment alone!

Hahaha balls and brains...love it! Take heed Steemians! Good advice, upvoted and resteemed

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