I really relate to this because I feel pressured to be 'seen' in that yang way, yet I thrive more in other ways. I have worried about how I am 'seen' by others, yet is how I am seen by myself and those closest to me that really, really matter, as you say. Any of the things I do in the larger arena of life are more often noticed by them than others anyway, who forget to say, perhaps, 'I see your efforts, and value them' because they are too busy to notice, or perhaps too busy with their own validations.

I'm reminded of Priam of Troy in David Malouf's reimagining of the ransom of Hector's body, mainly as I'm teaching this text at the moment. Torn by duty and obligation to his kingdom, and how he is 'meant' be in the public eye, Priam instead journeys to the Greek Camp without the adornings that show him in his sparkling eminence of his power - a very male, spotlighted, yang presence of authority. Instead, he journeys as an ordinary carter and an old man, mourning his losses, seeking empathy from Achilles and showing understanding too of the 'yang', sunlit world of male space, leadership, the eyes of the world watching him trample the honour of warriors into the dust with his daily atrocities. In the smoky candlelight of the Greek tent, in the hush and awe, the two men speak. Both are filled with anxiety - their kingdoms are dependent on them, their men, their worlds. Yet for a moment, they are simply two men, with fellow feeling. The truce brings temporary relief to them - they are able to be more fully themselves, and though they know their stories will persist throughout time, it is a very deeply personal peace and return to their true selves that is of value to them in this moment, behaving as men should do, with pity for one another's losses. In the end Achilles thinks of his son, and how his actions influence him - it is this sacred bond between fathers and sons that means most to him, and his duty as a man who is subject to mortality like any other man. He is remembered in time, yes, but the peace is so yin and deeply personal in the shadows of that tent, before he must go back out into the world. The real value of this exchange is in this quiet space between two men, independent of the roles they have to play as kings and warriors.

In the end, Troy still falls. Neoptolemus still murders Priam. Society falls to bloodshed, rape and mayhem. But just for a moment, what matters most is that human space, those human bonds, more than anything else.

I don't know, this is just what I'm thinking about as I am immersed in my marking, and I can't help but apply everything to that moment, and it's interesting to look at that exchange as yin and yang too. Priam is described as a child entering the world of ordinary men, 'entering the world anew'.