image source @bearone

the barking and the howling was reaching a breaking point.

can'tshakeoneoff couldn't!

He couldn't shake off this this damned feeling deep in his stomach that the world wouldn't leave him be just yet

He had tried to leave the world of grunting, but it followed him everywhere he went.

People didn't understand how much it hurt to sling grunts, when he had been called to higher things.

buh
people, what do they matter.

he had found his solace in the company of his faithful hounds. They kept him apart from the world of humans, although it was (he had heard on the internet) just outside the front door.

Many times the dogs had barked before, and many times the wind had howled, but this new combination was disturbing to him.

He wondered if it was the end?
The final end?
the end of all things

the end of laughter, the end of internet porn, the end of online haberdashery shopping
the end, his only friend the end.

so many times before he had been cheated.

the world was someone else, and he was still right here.

after so much disappointment, he dared not hope afresh.

or perhaps it was just the homely postmaiden, with good tidings from the sewing department of amazon, and that 64gb usb stick.

That, that would give him the power, he was sure.

Five terrabytes and still fifty gigs short.

Damn this internet

damn it to RULE

YYYYYYYYYEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

the cry could be heard even through the infernal din that the faithful houndbeasts were making

this was something different from the normal world of things out there.

something had come for him, can'tshakoneout couldn't ignore it any longer.

he would have to apart his eyes from the devils machine, and go out and face the challenge.

The desperate cries of the dogs grew ever louder, now even the cats were barking.

what the fuck is this thing?

he briefly considered donning clothing.

If it was the comely postmaiden, then society's rules and morays would force him to do so.

But that seemed unlikely, as the tracking showed that his thread and velcro were still in that infernal sausage eating land, at the frankfurter transportation hub.

and it was five am.
It just seemed unlikely, although can'tshakeoneoff had certainly prepared himself mentally for the possibility.

The postmaiden knew it too.
he had seen it in her eyes.

The debate raged on in his head, as the dogs began to write bad reviews of his response times on dogbuddy.

ah, fuckit

he reached for his pants

they weren't there

The dogs, as one, went silent.

what foul magic was this?

"who's that knocking at my door
5am it must be the law"

.

Now, almost showing signs of nerves, can'tshakeoneoff looked around his dank but homely quarters for another article which would serve to cover his body, as so many expect.

He spotted a towel and grabbed it, shaking off the majority of the accumulated dog grime and hair and wrapped it around himself in a practised fashion.

Now, regained his composure he headed out of the dungeon and towards the street level.

The dogs were sitting quietly in a line.

not a sound
the wind had quietened now and could barely be heard to whisper, but whisper it did.
"Mary, mother of Mary"

he had never heard such a thing!

never seen the dogs all sit in a line before

this was now getting just a bit creepy

the normal outside sounds seemed not to be present either

maybe this really was the end times that can'tshakeoneoff had been waiting for all his life.
Well ever since he had come across the forbidden book.
Sure the 1975 World Book Encyclopaedia had filled his head with 'facts' but here was truth.

he seemed to have time to think about all that had rushed in on him when he had opened the pages of that work, against all the screams of, it seemed, everybody else.

heresy they screamed. This is world unending

'Limits to Growth' had changed him, and he would never be the same again.

But there were more pressing matters at hand

was he really happy? now it was at hand?

wait?

how could it be

was he not just connected to the internet? Isn't much content from that unending fountain open on the 42 inch flatpage monitor?

he stepped back and peered down the stairway

the evil glow of the devil's temptation box was still casting it's spooky light from so far down there.

this just gets more and more insane he thought.

It's the hounds
"they won't let me think!! just sitting there, silently in a line!!"

if this isn't the end times? and the continuing supply of happy juice to the steematronics seemed to prove that must be true, then what foul manner of thing had come for him? calling the mother's name?

Time seemed to be standing still, the endless debate raged on in his head.
He was still upset by having his still living mother hang up on him when he had tried to talk to her only hours before.
Was that her last straw too?
poetic, but would add to his guiltload. Fucking tapping ain't going near that one

"my path through life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herds"

Edmund's words bounced round that huge insane ball of neurons that can'tshakeoneoff had been cursed with.

ah fuck, he thought again.

and with that he flung open the door, then moved quickly through it and pulled it closed in a practised matter.

The dogs didn't move

the most uncanny thing he had ever seen

normally it's a complete shit fight to keep them in, and it's the rarest day that at least one or two of them don't make it through and into the street to create havoc.

He looked around blinking.
There was no-one there.
And if any neighbours were up, aroused by the earlier racket, they certainly weren't making their presence known.

there was plenty of light in the street, enough to see clearly that there was not any person, as far as his sight would allow him. which was plenty in the pokey little street in helltown where he had washed up.
His night vision was one of his gifts, and even years of screen abuse, combined with personal abuse had not seemed to damage that at all.
"Improved it if anything" he repeated to himself, as his personal mantra.

but still, what the fuck is going on?

"Here I stands, in the street, in nothing more than a towel, and no has reason",
seeing how there was no-one there, he dropped even that pretence and went back to private mode.
He wrapped the towel around his shoulders and pushed open the door.

The dogs not only didn't make it hard, as they always do, jumping up on the inside of the door and slamming it in his face, but in fact weren't even sitting there.

"OK, now this is little bit scarey" he thought to himself. He thought he had finished with the stresses of the gruntslingers life. the on call weekends, the drug test threat.

fuck 'em

this is just like being back there. He felt out of control. Nothing seemed normal.

The glow from the dungeon seemed to brighten and pulse, as if with great urgency.

Like a fuckin call in, when I just got Aya on the line. Or was it another.

he suddenly felt cold

now that, in the Andalusian heat was really freakin' him out. He had just been standing in the street butt naked and was not cold.

The cold seemed to come from the pleasure room.

He hesitated, hand on the guardrail. He peered down into the electronic light.

He could see a dog's tail wagging

curious

what was this strange manner of occurrence?

could this be the calling?

the other possibility?

not the end times, but the beginning?

to be continued...

This is my call to arms, to enter the steemlords call to arms.
If you want to catch up, I highly recommend that you go here and check out the charmingly named @choogirl 's post. It'll bring you up to speed, and besides, it has boobs and yoga pants.
https://steemit.com/steemlords/@choogirl/steemlords-chooxena-warrior-princess