#STEEMLORDS – Rally Point Observations – Sir Scooterless astride Rigormortis

Flying in low, Rigormortis and Sir Scooterless settle on a cliff, high above the Rally point for #steemlords. Surveying the landscape below, they sight the arrival of different parties making their way across the lands to converge upon this point.

Rigormortis and Sir Scooterless make the following observations from their lofty roosting point:

ChooXena: Vegan Warrior Princess

Sitting lonesome and by herself, ChooXena sits shivering in the chilly dusk of the setting sun. Her chilliness quite obvious through her very revealing ‘yoga boob-tube’. Quietly munching on one of her soya-based products, she discretely attempts to let out a fart. The ‘fibre-packed’ basis for her diet makes this ‘quietness’ an impossible feat with the rumbling of her flatulence echoing off the cliffs surrounding the rally point.

Lord Percival the Magnificent

Next sits Lord Percival the Magnificent, hiding closely by his magnificent Pegasus, suspiciously lurking. Looking closer I see what he is doing….. Perving. Looking over at ChooXena in all her coldness, oblivious to the smell emanating from her direction. Exposing, I mean, admiring himself in all his glory.

A recent photo of Lord Percival

Sir Muxxy the Brave

From my vantage point Sir Muxxy is mounting his Martha. He thrusts and he thrusts, yet she refuses to budge. Unicorns can be stubborn when being coerced into something they don’t want to do. This ‘brit’ doesn’t seem too bright so shouldn’t pose a problem to our plan.

Pheli

Sitting quietly by himself I can see the twinkling of something silvery/gold in between his legs. As he sits playing I can just make out the murmuring of ‘my precious, my precious’ as Pheli gets it on with his treasure!

Gohba – The Blacksmith

Tink, tink, tink. That can only be the sound of the dirty, greasy blacksmith Gohba. After avoiding a number of Trolls on his journey, Gohba is making something from gleaming steel. He furnishes wonderous swords and armour and has thus far provided us with much sustenance. On the long flight to the rally point Rigormortis and I came upon a magnificent Eagle. This beautiful bird provided much sustenance on our long journey.

BattleWom

In the distance, I can just make out the silhouette of something glowing and roundish. That has to be the gluttonous BattleWom. Doing what he always does; Eats, Roots and Leaves, the strong and imposing figure of BattleWom could be useful if tunnelling is needed during this quest, if only he would get off his fat preverbial and move faster than a sloth.

Lord Steem the Glorious

Another pompous git from the looks of things. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth and living in great luxury all of his life, Lord Steem will find it hard crapping in a hole on his journey, though I dare say he will have some Sauerkraut to keep him warm on those cold nights.

Squire StinknZombalot

Under a small tree appeared a frail figure eating dinner. Pale and withdrawn, this poor wretch of a figure seemed to be eating..... BRAINS! But where did those brains come from? They could not have been from Sir Muxxy (as he had none in the first place). Perhaps it was from an animal caught in the wilderness?? Hhhhmmmmm. Time would tell.

Madame Arly

A beautiful maiden who has yet to emerge from the wilderness at the rally point. However I have received word from ravens on the wing that Lord Percival the Pervert and Sir Muxxy the Muppet are planning on dropping in on this fair maiden. They will most likely start by spending some time outside her bedroom window fogging it up before making their presence known.

Tommy Testeless

Madame Arly’s trusty sidekick and the one who sent the ravens to warn of the impending invasion of the perverts, Tommy Testeless has also yet to emerge from the darkness. Legend has it that this, so far, elusive character has a destructive and blinding weapon. When pointed at a foe, one click blinds and strikes fear into the hearts of any self conscious warrior.

Who shall be the best to join an alliance with? Who shall have their tongue frozen to someone's window? Who shall knock out their foes with their fibre induced stench?

Only time will tell.

How did Rigormortis and I, Sir Scooterless, get here? Find Part One of our journey ------> HERE

Bring on #STEEMLORDS. I await your arrival at the rally point!