Steemit School Poetry 100 Day Challenge Day #97, Poem #95—Subway Days

in steemitschoolpoetry •  7 months ago

Way down, into the jungle’s great concrete gut
Many an iron train kiss the weary breeze;
Within the congested carts,
scores of passengers hold their breath,
and huddle in the still thick air.
Where pocked face kids hold their mothers’ skirts;
stay close their concerned eyes remark.
Commuters’ silence contrasts the deafening rumble of the locomotive’s wheels.
Ah, the captive noises rushing in when another rushes by
The sound of wind swept meadows and seas captured on concrete land.
Morphing into jarring sounds.
Rustling sleepy eyes,
while weary bodies wheel and toss
waiting for the manual brake to hit and load them off,
the tired ones,
brusquely in this overcrowded land.
Islets of majestic skyscrapers’ coruscating light
Chocking with synthetic stench
Here, all is busy in this noise drenched day
where the bodies glide about,
for none can escape this bustling land.


A little about me and poetry

This poem is my submission to the School Poetry 100 Day Challenge hosted by @d-pend, whom I would like to thank for sponsoring this competition. He is indeed a godsend. Though a bit dubious, I would consider myself an intermediate writer of poetry. My first love is prose, so if you get a feel of something other than verse in my poetry that is why. I use poems to assist me when I have writer’s block. This strategy, however, seems to be morphing into something more serious. At least I think so.

Thanks for reading.

Poem by: @nicholas83

Date: 6/13/18

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Well described
I like that you used those speed graphics instead of an actual train. You know what we fi do wid some a dem poem yah, translate them and make a Japanese poem book “ Japan through
The gaijin eyes” ( something along that line )


I need to put together a few more. HAHA! I wonder if I can do one about ALT.


That would be interesting

Hi @nicholas83

I didnt hear from you in a while. Have been away and just got back.

Im glad to see that you're still active. I noticed that you're focusing 100% on poetry now. Did you stop writting about crypto and being part of @originalworks contest?

Hope you've been doing fine buddy.

obviously upvoted :)

Cheers, Piotr


Thanks for following man. No, I have not stopped writing for the contest, I am just taking a break. After this competition I might take a week or so from writing to get my bearings together.


thx for reply. and have a great weekend @nicholas83

Excellent description of a trip by underground train. I imagine that is part of your daily journey and, however, you created good poetry with him.
A hug, dear Nicholas!


This is about the Tokyo rush hour. I am spared this daily tragedy for the most part, but I have experienced it a little. It can be brutal.