Steemit School Poetry 100 Day Challenge #72--Silent Dreams
It was in days past.
Now, amnesia has rendered it mute.
But it spoke once.
Shouted also.
It hovered over me.
As loud as the thunder’s roar.
My hopes,
my ambitions,
my dreams,
they all screamed;
ushered me on.
And then,
the silence fell.
Slowly… slowly.
Like shadows on a sunless day.
The fall,
the crash, made me nonplussed.
Now,
in this silence,
I do lie.
No more do I hear the clarion call of my dream.
Not before me.
Not around me.
Only a stillness.
Only a mute desolate space.
My person.
My bruised person shouts through the shadow.
A little help to shatter the silence in this place.
To revive what’s mute.
This darkened mind.
In to countless echoes of gleeful songs.
A little about me and poetry
This poem is my submission to the School Poetry 100 Day Challenge hosted by @d-pend, whom I would like to thank for sponsoring this competition. He is indeed a godsend. Though a bit dubious, I would consider myself an intermediate writer of poetry. My first love is prose, so if you get a feel of something other than verse in my poetry that is why. I use poems to assist me when I have writer’s block. This strategy, however, seems to be morphing into something more serious. At least I think so.
Thanks for reading.
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This is what I saw here, dear Nicholas.
The lyric voice continues to remove the layer of apparent bonanza and realization of life. It manifests existential pain, emptiness, disconnection with the place where it makes life. He is ceasing to hide, he is coming out of the shadows of conformity to shout that this, his life, is not what he longed for, that he has touched him hard, that he is greening by exposing himself, of telling his truths.
Oh my god. you are so on point. It is hard to tell, at times, where your critique starts and where your poetry ends. You are indeed a maestro with the pen.
This was a journey to read. The words you chose really gave me specific emotions. And the way you broke up the lines is masterful. I really liked the end a lot too.
Thanks so much for these kind words.