Tofu steak?? You’re probably thinking, how do I have the nerve to refer to tofu as steak?! Yes, it might appear deceptive – like the time I was in NYC and ordered cauliflower steak with the misconception that I would receive a big juicy steak accompanied by some pretty pattern created by cauliflower. Oh how wrong I was! Flipping cauliflower in the shape of a steak, but at the same bloody price, wtf?! Anyway, after that experience I would never dream to trick any other human being by bigging up some veg as a steak and selling it at the same price, especially cauliflower- I mean come on, make it artichoke or asparagus, or something a little less humble than the common cauliflower if you’re going to sell it at an extortionate price! Never have I regretted spending $35 as much as I did that day in my entire life.

Anyway, to get to my point, I kid you not. This tofu really tastes like meat – okay maybe not a beef steak, but definitely like chicken. Yes, everything always tastes like chicken, but if you’re a veggie and that inner carnivorous devil crops up, chicken is still better than nothing. And no lie, if you freeze soft tofu, it develops a spongy, meaty texture that soaks up any sauce or broth like a MOFO which you marinade it in – even meat doesn’t have the capability to soak up as much juice as the mighty frozen tofu.

I feel that this justifies my referring to it as a steak. You probably still don’t believe me, becasue yes, it's rather strange that simply freezing this boring protein source makes it into an more fun protein source, but try it and then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

For the millet buns – don’t even get me started on this new love of my life. I love this shit so much, it’s got it’s own article! You can check it out on this link:
https://steemit.com/steemkitchen/@foodflaneur/steemkitchen-recipe-contest-6-week-3-snacks-millet-crisps-and-dips-roast-garlic-and-red-pepper-smashed-avo

For this seriously naughty sticky cola BBQ dip, just stick as much on as you want, on EVERYTHING, as well as this burger.

So how to make these AMAZINGLY DELISH burgers?...

Serving size:
Makes 6 burgers

Ingredients for tofo steak:
• 20 pieces smoked tofu (frozen overnight and now thawed)
• 6 cloves mashed roasted garlic
• 40 ml soya sauce
• 3 tbsp honey
• 2 tbsp rapeseed oil

Ingredients for millet buns:
• 850g cooked millet
• 1 tsp salt
• Oil to grease

Ingredients for sticky cola sauce:
• 1.25 litres cola (not diet)
• 1 onion diced
• 6 cloves garlic crushed
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 2 tsp salt
• 60 ml vinegar
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp ground cloves
• 1 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1 tsp smoked paprika
• ½ tsp ground black pepper
• 2 tbsp corn starch

Method:

1. For the millet buns, combine the cooked millet and salt together until grains are no longer separate and form into
   patties between the palms of your hands, ensuring your hands are wet or slightly greased.
2. Lay on a greased baking tray and brush with oil.
3. Bake for 20 minutes until the outsides become a rich yellow and harden slightly on the surface.
4. For the sauce, lightly sweat the onions and garlic.
5. Add the cola and spices and leave to simmer and reduce for 30 minutes.
6. Remove the onions and garlic and blitz in a food processor to a smooth puree.
7. Return back to the sauce along with the corn starch and simmer for a further 10 minutes whilst stirring. The sauce
   should start to thicken at this point.
8. Leave to cool before placing in a sterilised jar and refrigerate. The sauce will continue to thicken as it cools.
9. For the tofu, make a marinade by combining the garlic, soy sauce, honey and oil.
10. Make incisions along the tofu on both sides and squeeze out any remaining water from it.
11. Soak in the marinade for at least 2 hours, though the longer the better (overnight preferably).
12. Grill the steaks for 5-7 minutes on either side and serve immediately.

Now you can enjoy your faux steak burgers with a nice cold pint of beer and fries (if you can be bothered to make them).