Hello, Steemit world. I'm baaaaaack!

I know. I haven't been around lately because--well, life happened. I've been so busy lately working on another platform because--let's face it--as much as I love Steemit and its community, I still need to pay the bills. lol But that's all in the past now since I've decided to be more active starting today. I'd still probably go AWOL from time to time, but I will always come back because--

Home is where the heart is.

Okaaaaay, I'm gonna stop right there before I get any sappier than that. lol

So, from the title of this post, I guess you already have an idea what I'm gonna share with you today, right? First-time parents and parents-to-be, listen up because I'm gonna be sharing some parenting tips you've probably never heard of before.

Image Source / Edited with Photoshop

Parenting Pro Tip #1

Don't buy expensive gadgets--unless you want to cry yourself a river. Children have a knack for destroying things and, heaven forbid they get a hold of your cellphone. And even if they don't destroy it themselves--when you find yourselves in an emergency situation, I'm sure you'll save your kid first before your iPhone XS...right???

Quite recently, my son and I took a tumble down the stairs. I was so busy trying to protect my son from the fall that I gave my phone a good whack on the stairs. It's all good. Phone is still working--and it's an old one anyway. But, I guess I should also tell you why I'm using an old phone. Just last week, my other phone got wet courtesy of my toddler. So, I guess you already know my point, right?

Let's bow our heads and give a moment of silence in memoriam of my two dead phones in just a span of 2 years. At this point, I really want to cry--AGAIN! Oh, I apologize for the really crappy image quality. Did I mention I'm using an old phone? I'm using my O+ (forgot the model) phone. If you've never heard of that phone, there's a really good reason why. lol

Bonus pro tip: Don't buy this cellphone brand.

Parenting Pro Tip #2

When you're at a party, go ahead and stack your plate with food. Just say it's for your kid when you get weird looks. But, honestly, kids don't eat that much anyway, especially when they're distracted with toys and playmates--so you get to enjoy his 'leftovers'. Unless your kid is like mine who can eat a whole cow by himself then this is moot point. Lol

Bonus pro tip for breastfeeding mommas: You are allowed to get food and eat 3 times as much as others.

Parenting Pro Tip #3

If you co-sleep or plan to co-sleep with your kid/s until they're toddler years, make sure to sleep in your best defensive position. Cover the vulnerable parts such as the nose, eyes, chest, and groin. Yes, groin. So, dads, if you still want to have more kids, make sure to keep your 'crown jewels' safe. Trust me, your gonna regret it later if you don't. Hubby has been a victim of this countless times and he still hasn't learned yet. Oh, well. Don't make the same mistake he keeps repeating. lol

Parenting Pro Tip #4

Don't show your kid the entire content of the snack cupboard. It's okay to sneak some of the good snacks for your own enjoyment, you know. But if you do show them the content of the snack cupboard, then it's game over for you. You won't be able to sneak anything away anymore because your kids will be doing a quick inventory of the snacks inside the cupboard.

It's amazing how good my son's memory is when it comes to snacks but needs constant reminders not to stick his fingers where he shouldn't like my nostrils, mouth--basically, every orifice found on my face, including the ears.

Parenting Pro Tip #5

Don't buy them too many expensive clothes and toys. Toddlers don't care if they're wearing designer clothes--they'd still puke all over them. Likewise, it's a complete waste of money to buy them expensive toys--toys that they wouldn't even play with in the first place. Or even if they do play with it, it won't be long before they lose interest in it.

Tupperware, pots, pans, empty boxes, empty water containers, doorknobs, and deadbolts are enough to keep them entertained for the whole day. Trust me on this one. I bought my son a kiddie car trolley earlier this year. Oh, he was excited and played with it solely--for about a day and a half. And then he turned to the empty box. He was more interested in the box than what's inside!

Again, apologies for the crappy image quality--but you can still clearly see how happy he is playing with the empty water container. If you want to buy them expensive stuff, wait until they are old enough to appreciate them...unless you just wanna show off to the world that you can buy expensive things then just don't mind me and everything I've said. lol

Before I go, I just want to say a quick hello to @beeyou. See. I'm writing again. :p Well, I plan to be more active (hopefully) from now on, so see you around. :)

XOXO,
@chineyes